He looked at her. Does that sound horrible to you?

Of course it does. Yes!

To me, it was the same old shit. I saw it all the time. Id become immune to it, or at least I thought I had. He licked his dry lips. I didnt think I had any compassion left. But after Darnell, I got some back. He flashed a troubled smile. I call it my steel-jacketed epiphany. Two slugs in my body, a kid dying in front of me, wanting me to finish him off. Its hard to imagine one event having enough force to make you question everything youve ever believed. But it happened to me that night. He nodded thoughtfully. Now I think of the whole future of the world solely in the context of Darnell Jackson. Hes my version of nuclear holocaust, only it wont be over in a few seconds. He looked at her. Thats the terror that drives me.

I think you really do care. You do a lot of good.

Fiske shook his head, his eyes glimmering. Im not some rich, brilliant white attorney running around nobly saving the little Eniss of the world. And it took a lost kid blowing up my insides with a cannon to make me even give a damn. How many people do you think really care?

You cant be that cynical, can you?

Fiske stared at her a moment before answering. Actually, Im the most hopeful cynic youll ever meet.

["C55"]CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE

You did the right thing, Beth. As much as it hurts. I still cant believe it about Sara, though. Jordan Knight shook his head. They were in the back seat of his government limousine, which was threading its way through bumper-to-bumper traffic toward their Watergate apartment. Maybe she just cracked. The pressures are enormous.

I know, Elizabeth Knight said quietly.

It all seems so bizarre. A clerk steals an appeal. Sara knows about it but keeps quiet. The clerk is then murdered. Then the clerks brother comes under suspicion. John Fiske just doesnt strike me as the murderous type.

He doesnt strike me that way either. Her discussion with John Fiske had only deepened her fears. Jordan Knight patted his wifes hand. Ive checked on Chandler and McKenna. Both are rock-solid. McKenna has an excellent reputation at the Bureau. If anybody can solve this thing, I think those two can.

I find Warren McKenna rude and obnoxious.

Well, in his line of work I suppose he sometimes has to be, he pointed out.

Thats not all. Theres just something about him. Hes so intense, but he almost seems to be she paused, searching for the right word playacting.

In the middle of a murder investigation?

I know it sounds crazy, but its just how I feel.

The senator shrugged and stroked his chin thoughtfully. Ive always said a womans intuition is worth more than a mans best judgment. I guess in this town were all on a stage. Sometimes one does grow tired of it.

She eyed him closely. The New Mexico ranch beckons?

Ive got a dozen years on you, Beth. Every day becomes a little more precious.

Its not like were not together.

Time together in D.C. is not really the same. Were both so busy here.

My appointment to the Court is a lifetime one, Jordan.

I just dont want you to have any regrets. And Im trying my best not to have any.

They both fell silent and looked out the window as the car traveled along Virginia Avenue.

I heard you and Ramsey went at it tooth and claw today. Do you think you have a chance?

Jordan, you know I dont feel comfortable talking to you about these things.

Jordan reddened. Thats one thing I hate about this town, and our jobs. Government should not interfere in the covenant of marriage.

Funny talk, coming from a politician.

Jordan laughed deeply. Well, as a politician, I have to get up on the damn soapbox every now and then, dont I? He stopped and took her hand. I appreciate your going forward with the dinner for Kenneth. You took some heat for it, I know.

Elizabeth shrugged. Harold takes any opportunity, no matter how trivial, to tweak me, Jordan. Ive built up a very strong resistance. She gave him a kiss on the cheek, while he lovingly stroked her hair.

We really have prevailed, despite all the odds, havent we? We have a nice life, dont we?

We have a wonderful life, Jordan. She kissed him again and he put a protective arm around her.

I say tonight we cancel all of our appointments and just stay home. Have some dinner, watch a movie. And talk. We dont get to do that much anymore.

Im afraid I wont be good company.

Jordan squeezed her tightly. Youre always good company, Beth. Always.

When the Knights arrived at their apartment, Mary, their housekeeper, handed a phone message to Elizabeth. A curious expression crossed her face as she looked at the name on the paper. Jordan appeared in the hallway rubbing his hands together. He looked at Mary. I hope you have something nice planned for dinner.

Your favorite. Beef tenderloin.

Jordan smiled. I think were going to have a late dinner. Tonight the missus and I are going to relax completely. No interruptions. He looked at his wife. Anything wrong? He noted the paper in her hand.

No. Court business. It never ends.

You dont have to tell me that, he said dryly. Well, Im for a hot shower. He went down the hallway. Youre welcome to join me, he called over his shoulder. Mary went off to the kitchen, a smile on her lips at the senators remark. Elizabeth took the opportunity to slip into the study and dialed the number on the message.

Im returning your call, she said into the phone.

We need to talk, Justice Knight. Hows right now?

What is this about?

What Im about to tell you will come as quite a shock. Are you prepared for that?

For some reason, Elizabeth Knight sensed that the man was enjoying this. I really dont have time for the cloak-and-dagger rhetoric that obviously amuses you.

Well, Im going to give you a crash course in it.

What are you talking about?

Just listen.

And she did. Twenty minutes later she threw the phone down, raced out of the room and almost knocked down Mary, who was coming down the hallway. Elizabeth raced into the powder room, where she splashed water on her face. She gripped the edges of the sink, composed herself, opened the door and moved slowly down the hallway. She could still hear Jordan in the shower. She looked at her watch. She went out into the lobby and down the elevator to the reception area of the building and waited over by the main entrance. Time seemed to pass slowly. Actually only ten minutes had gone by since her phone call. Finally, a man she didnt recognize, but who clearly knew her by sight, appeared and handed her something. She looked down at it. When she looked back up, he had already disappeared. She put what he had given her into her pocket and hurried back up to her apartment.

Wheres Jordan? she asked Mary.

I believe hes in the bedroom getting dressed. Are you all right, Ms. Knight?

Yes, I. . . . my stomach was just a little upset, but Im fine now. I decided to stretch my legs and do some window shopping downstairs, get some fresh air. Would you mix up some cocktails and put them out on the terrace?

Its starting to rain.

But the awnings up. And I feel very claustrophobic all of a sudden. I need the air. Its been so hot and humid lately, and the rain has made things so cool. So very cool, she said wistfully. Make Jordans favorite, will you?

Beefeater Martini with a twist, yes, maam.

And the dinner, Mary . . . please make sure its absolutely wonderful. Just perfect.

I will, maam. Mary headed to the bar with a puzzled look on her face. Elizabeth Knight squeezed her hands together to fight the waves of panic. She just had to stop thinking about it. If she was going to make it through this, she had to merely act, not think. Please, God, help me, she prayed. ["C56"]CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX