‘It’s too soon to meet,’ he said. ‘We have to take one step at a time.’

‘What step is that?’ Karin asked. ‘As far as I can see we’re not moving at all.’

The sun rose beyond the distant viaduct, a dazzling rim that streaked a crimson vertebrae across the sky. He had better return to Sea Aster. Karin was an early riser. In Alaska there was no dawn to watch, he thought, just a midnight sun to blood the opening of a new day.

‘Where were you?’ She was sitting up in bed, tousled and pouting, when he returned.

‘On the estuary watching the dawn.’

‘You should have woken me.’

‘I didn’t want to disturb you.’

‘Was it beautiful?’

‘As always.’

‘We should have been watching it together.’ She sounded wishful. ‘That’s what lovers do. But there’ll be other dawns we can share.’

The stage was bare, their equipment packed. Reedy, Hart and Daryl had already left. This was the lonely moment, the dazzle stripped away, lasers, strobes and spotlights switched off, microphones silenced. The only musical note was the clink of glasses being cleared away.

Feral stopped packing her equipment and glanced curiously across at Jake. ‘You and Karin watching the dawn together,’ she said. ‘I never realised you were such a romantic.’ She zipped her main drum into its cover and headed for the exit.

‘What do you mean?’ Jake lifted an amplifier and followed her outside to the carpark where their two vans were parked.

‘We bumped into each other on Grafton Street yesterday. She twisted my arm to have a coffee with her. She’s really into you.’

‘I guess.’

‘What about you?’

‘It’s not that straightforward.’

Feral slammed the back door closed. ‘As far as she’s concerned, it is. She talked about you the whole time.’ She grinned. ‘I can’t pretend it was the most fascinating conversation I’ve ever had in my life.’

‘Why ever not?’ He feigned indignation to hide his uneasiness. Why would Karin lie over such a trivial issue as a sunrise? ‘What else did she tell you?’

‘Oh, this and that. Woman talk.’ Feral took out her keys and climbed into the van. ‘She strikes me as a woman who gets what she wants. Just be sure you want the same thing.’

‘That sounds like a warning.’

‘You’re a big boy, Jake. If you can’t look after yourself by now it’s too late to take cover.’

He watched her drive away. One night after band practice she had stayed behind in Sea Aster and played music with him. Unlike Maggie, who was a staunch gay rights activist, Feral was content to drum her way through life. She told him that night how they had met on a Greyhound bus that was bringing them from Boston to New York. As a love story it lacked excitement but sparks had flown and that was that. Their future sealed.

Two years after that summer in Monsheelagh he would look out from the stage and recognise Nadine instantly. She had waved from the crowd and smiled, he remembered it was a hesitant smile, as if she was uncertain he would remember her. He smiled back and held her gaze for the remainder of the song. He had sought her out as soon as the band stopped for a short interval. A moment of recognition, their future sealed.

A melancholic yearning for the early years of their marriage swept over him. The sleepless nights, the dazed periods of bliss when their children were asleep and they could finally collapse onto the old sofa, laughing as they reached for each other. But those years had a sepia tinge and he found it increasingly difficult to recognise himself as that young, hassled father, or the brittle husband who had moved to Bartizan Downs, smugly convinced that his future had a graph that could only rise.

Chapter 33

The circular table in Louisa’s Loft had been taken over by a noisy family group and Louisa, the plump, friendly proprietor, seated Jake and Eleanor at a table for two. She took their orders, removed the menus and placed a jug of iced water before them.

‘It’s sad when a family falls apart and there’s only you and I left to celebrate my birthday.’ Eleanor sighed heavily and gazed out the window at the view over Howth Harbour.

‘We haven’t fallen apart,’ Jake protested. ‘Children grow up. They leave home. Old people die. It’s called life.’

‘And wives leave their husbands,’ she reminded him. ‘Nadine sent me a book for my birthday. Two Women in the Klondike. I’ll read it when I retire.’

‘It’s going to gather dust, then.’ He attempted a joke but Eleanor’s sense of humour had never tallied with his.

‘Probably,’ she replied. ‘I’m far too busy to even think of retiring.’

‘You should relax for a change and kick back your heels. Remember what the doctor – ’

‘Foals kick back their heels, Jake. Since when have I ever displayed the slightest equine tendencies?’

‘All I’m saying is that it’s time to let some of the younger members in First Affiliation do the heavy lifting for you. You’re sixty-seven now.’

‘What would you like me to do?’ She tapped her fingers off the table. ‘Dribble on my chin and shuffle into a nursing home on my Zimmer?’

‘Of course not. I didn’t mean…’ A long night stretched ahead. He needed to bite down hard on his tongue. ‘Any word on the planning permission for Sea Aster? It’s taking forever.’

‘Bureaucracy. Don’t talk to me about it.’ She was on her favourite hobby horse and Jake, relieved, filled their glasses with wine.

The restaurant door opened and a woman entered. Dainty feet in ankle boots, a slim-fitting leather jacket and a short skirt hugging her thighs. He sloshed the wine as he set the bottle back on the table. One step at a time, he had said. Karin had obviously decided to take that step on her own. Her mobile phone was pressed to her ear as she approached the reception desk. She ended her call and spoke to Louisa. Eleanor was still complaining about delays, ineptitude and the wastage of taxpayer’s money. Her words scattered above his head as Karin followed Louisa towards a vacant table.

‘I don’t believe it.’ She stopped beside him and raised her hands to her cheeks. ‘Jake Saunders! It’s been so long. My goodness… how many years?’ Her voice lilted with astonishment. ‘It’s so good to see you again.’

‘Karin… what a surprise.’ He almost knocked over his chair as he rose to greet her. ‘You’re the last person I expected to meet here. How are you?’

‘Being stood up, I’m afraid.’ She waggled her mobile at him. ‘I was supposed to meet my friend Liam but I’ve just received a call. His car has broken down. He can’t make it.’

‘What a shame.’ Eleanor made a sympathetic moue. ‘Being stood up is not a nice experience.’

‘It’s a nuisance but never mind.’ Karin smiled and extended her hand. ‘I’ve seen you so often on television, Mrs Saunders. It’s a privilege to meet you in real life.’

Her teeth sparkled, white, small and even. Sharp too, she bit his neck last night, not once but many times. A necklace of love, she called it. If his mother knew what was hidden under the collar of his shirt. Jake’s palms began to sweat.

‘Thank you.’ Eleanor gazed speculatively at him. ‘Are you going to introduce us, Jake?’

‘Em… yes… this is Karin Moylan. She’s em… a friend.’

‘I’m an old school friend of Nadine’s,’ Karin cut across his faltering introduction. ‘How is she, Jake? I haven’t heard from her in ages.’

‘She’s fine.’

‘Why don’t you sit down and join us, my dear?’ Eleanor said.

‘Oh, no, I’d be intruding…’ Karin hesitated, toyed with her chunky blue necklace.

‘Not at all.’ Eleanor gestured towards an empty seat at the next table. ‘Bring that chair over, Jake. We’re celebrating my birthday.’ She gestured towards Louisa, who was waiting at a discreet distance for their conversation to finish. ‘Louisa, another menu, please. This young lady will be dining with us.’