Don’t worry. Wait, I’ll be there soon.

She pressed send. The IKEA lorry turned off at Straiton and she pushed forward into the gap. She still had the phone in her hand when it rang. She looked at the screen – Ben. She breathed a couple of times then pressed answer.

‘Hi,’ she said.

‘Hey, where are you? You were gone when I woke up.’

‘Just out and about,’ Ellie said.

She’d caught up with a Tesco van in front. Kept her distance, but then two cars slid in between them from the slip road. She eased off the accelerator.

‘Sounds mysterious,’ Ben said.

‘Just shopping,’ Ellie said.

‘Are you driving?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I’ll keep it quick then. I’m going out in the boat, wondered if you wanted to come, I could use an able seawoman.’

Ellie noticed her speed had gone up and took her foot off the pedal. Her right hand was tight on the steering wheel, her left gripping the phone. Her ear was warm with the phone pressed against it.

‘I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ she said, her voice level.

‘I checked the weather reports,’ Ben said. ‘Don’t know what you were on about last night, conditions are perfect.’

‘Must’ve got the wrong end of the stick.’

‘So you want to come out? Clear our heads?’

Ellie had to brake as another truck came in from the next slip road. ‘OK, when I get back.’

‘How long are you going to be?’ Ben said. ‘Don’t want to hit the turning tide.’

‘An hour, maybe.’

‘That long? What are you shopping for?’

‘Bits and bobs.’

‘Fine,’ Ben said. ‘I’ll go down to the Porpoise, get her ready for action.’

A string of brake lights up ahead, Ellie too close to the car in front, had to brake hard.

‘Don’t do that,’ she said.

‘Why not?’

Doubt in his voice.

‘Just wait for me at the house, yeah? I want to go over to the marina with you.’

‘But I could be getting her shipshape.’

‘Just please wait for me at home. Promise.’

Silence for a second. The cars in front were speeding up again. This traffic was shit, same as always on the bypass.

‘What’s going on, Ellie?’ Ben said.

Ellie’s ear burned. Her hands were sweaty and the tremor in her stomach was spreading to her chest. She imagined pushing the accelerator to the floor and crunching into the car in front.

‘Just please promise,’ she said.

Maybe he heard something in her voice, a desperation.

‘I promise,’ he said.

‘Thanks, I’ll be home soon.’

‘Take it easy,’ Ben said.

She hung up and threw the phone on the seat. She indicated and slipped into the fast lane.

*

Port Edgar was busier than earlier, old men tinkering, some more-serious crews busying themselves on the decks of the bigger racers. She scurried along the pontoon, nodding at the folk she knew, and clambered on to the Porpoise, then down below.

Sam was sitting at the table in the middle of the room, checking his phone and sniffling, wiping his nose with his sleeve.

Ellie was halfway across the room, arms wide, about to hug him when he looked up and shrank away from her. Of course, too intimate, stupid thing to do. This boy wasn’t hers, she had to get a grip. She changed her body shape at the last second, dropping an arm and rubbing his shoulder, a gesture of reassurance.

She sat down next to him, their legs touching on the narrow bench. Sam was still wearing Logan’s clothes. Couldn’t he have picked up some of his own stuff when he was at the house seeing Libby? Maybe he didn’t get the chance.

‘How are you?’ Ellie said.

He put his phone down and shook his head. ‘I don’t know what to do.’

He began sniffing again, tears in his eyes. Ellie put a hand on his thigh.

‘I’ll take care of everything,’ she said.

‘How?’ Sam had a confrontational look on his face. ‘You said that yesterday, and I believed you, but this isn’t yesterday any more. How can you fix things?’

This was too soon for Ellie, she didn’t have an answer.

‘I wish you hadn’t found me yesterday,’ Sam said. ‘I wish I’d jumped.’

Ellie moved her hand to his cheek and turned his face toward her.

‘Don’t ever fucking say that again.’

That shocked him. As if women in their forties weren’t supposed to swear, weren’t allowed to care deeply about things, care so much they would do anything to make everything right.

‘I went to see your dad in hospital,’ she said.

He stared at her. ‘Why?’

‘I was looking for you.’

‘I went there but I didn’t go in. I couldn’t. How is he?’

‘He’s going to live.’

‘Did you speak to him?’

Ellie nodded. ‘I told him to leave you and Libby alone.’

Sam shook his head. ‘It won’t make any difference.’

‘I think it will.’

‘You don’t know him,’ Sam said. ‘He won’t be scared of you.’

‘He should be.’

‘Why are you doing this?’

Ellie looked round the cabin then got up, walked to the doorway. ‘We can’t stay here, it’s not safe.’

Sam followed her. ‘What do you mean?’

‘My husband is coming, he wants to go out in the boat. We have to move you.’

‘Where to?’

‘I know somewhere.’

Ellie pulled open a drawer and yanked out a baseball cap. Black, no logo, not memorable. She handed it to him. ‘Put this on.’ She went to the forward cabin and folded up the bed sheets and covers, pulled a kitbag from underneath the bed and stuffed the lot inside. Pulled the cord tight and slung it over her shoulder.

‘Come on.’ She walked past him and put her foot on the first step of the ladder.

Sam put the cap on and followed her above deck.

Ellie stood surveying the scene. Most of the berths were occupied, half a dozen boats with people working on deck between them and the quayside. She looked out to sea, had a faint shudder as she took in the road bridge. The sound of the traffic was soothing from this distance, a soft murmur.

She turned to Sam and pulled his cap down, hiding his face as much as possible.

‘Walk next to me and don’t talk to anyone.’

She jumped off deck on to the pontoon and held a side rail till Sam had done the same, then they walked at a clip along the rocking pontoon. Ellie nodded at anyone who acknowledged her, tried to keep her eyes facing front. No point trying to make a story up, no need to stop and explain, that would just get them in deeper water.

She breathed easier when they were up the stairs and on to the pier. She put a hand on Sam’s elbow and hurried him as they walked away from the main boat sheds, past a handful of old keelboats on raised platforms, and up towards an abandoned warehouse. Its brick walls were crumbling. The corrugated iron roof was red with rust, thin patches where the metal had almost been eaten away.

Ellie glanced over her shoulder then walked to the back of the building, where the glass of the windows had been put in. She picked up a stick and pushed out the remaining shards in one window frame, then threw the kitbag through and clambered inside, Sam following.

Ellie knew this place. She’d come exploring here with Logan one time. Nothing much to see, lots of pigeon shit and rotten stonework, but it was dry inside. Ellie dumped the kitbag in a corner then turned to Sam, who’d taken his cap off and was looking around.

‘It’s only for a few hours,’ Ellie said.

Sam nodded, scuffed his shoe in the dust.

‘I’ll be back soon,’ Ellie said, then she left through the same window.

19

She prayed no one said anything. She was walking back along the pontoon towards the Porpoise, this time with Ben at her side, only half an hour after she’d been going the other way with Sam.

Ellie had placed herself at the side where more people were on deck, so she could ward them off, prevent Ben from stopping and chatting. She nodded and waved and turned away each time, Ben giving her a funny look.