When, years later and under the care of Mam and Pap, Shad did learn that such actions were deviant, he didn’t tell them about Wally. He never told them about any of that woman’s boyfriends. Talking about the boyfriends would only make him think about them, and Shad was determined to ignore that part of his past as much as possible. He didn’t even tell them about Brody, the other boyfriend Shad had bothered to track down.

Shad immediately suppressed memories of Brody that started to percolate to the surface of his conscious. Ten years ago he discovered that Brody was already in jail on multiple charges. Shad became determined never to waste even seconds of his life to any thought of Brody again.

With Wally untraceable for him and Brody already incarcerated, Shad had managed to maintain his silence about that dark era of his childhood. There was only one interval of a few months he ever broke it, and that was only with Dulsie. Even then all he mentioned to her was about the other boyfriends, and Shad was relieved that Dulsie didn’t obsess on encouraging him to divulge more. She respected silence. Her father Karl didn’t say much about certain aspects of his own childhood, either, so Dulsie understood such reluctance.

Of course Shad knew how the field of psychology encouraged one to speak up about such issues in order to better grapple with them, but he dismissed it as a generalization that didn’t apply to everybody. What could possibly be healing about burdening the people he cared for with knowledge about something they couldn’t do anything about? He had spoken about a few episodes to Dulsie only because he was courting her at the time and Shad knew he had to show willingness to share himself.

Discovering Wally now could mean Shad might have to break his long-held silence. A sizable part of him wished he’d unpacked his laptop computer and worked on another case or played a few games of solitaire instead of reading this newspaper. If only Shad had wound up throwing that paper away without ever having looked at it.

But there was no such thing as coincidence.

He had to turn Wally in, but how? With the statute of limitations already passed, Shad had little legal recourse. It was true victims had the option until the age of thirty-one to file civil claims in order to recover damages for either physical or psychological injury. But that didn’t do Shad any good.

Wally had never physically hurt him. And despite all the shortcomings that happened in his head, Shad had worked too hard at presenting himself as a relatively balanced individual to claim Wally had caused him psychological harm. There was one problem he used to have that some theorized might be evoked by past episodes of molestation, but Shad didn’t believe that theory and it was no longer a problem for him anyway. Even if it were, he would never divulge it to anyone besides Dulsie. And thanks to the grace of God, he’d never had to tell even her.

Although Shad did suspect it was that very problem that had soured his relationship with Dulsie’s mother, Jill.

The train began slowing for the second time since they’d left St. Louis to come to a stop. Shad found himself snapped back to the present as Charissa scrambled to her knees to better peer out the window.

“Where are we?” Charissa’s nose rubbed on the pane as she turned her head to the left and then the right.

“Hermann. Our next stop will be in Jeff.”

Charissa turned her attention from the broad and shimmering Missouri River on their side to the brick depot on the other side of the car. “Are there any more tunnels?”

“Not on this trip.”

Charissa plopped back down on the seat. “Why do they make tunnels?”

“Sometimes it’s easier to go through the mountain than around it.”

Charissa frowned slightly as she stared at the wide river outside the window. “I don’t see any mountains.”

“Well, today we call them hills.” Shad realized he was grateful for the distraction Charissa was bringing him.

“What happened to the mountains?”

“They’re hills now. In this area they were eroded down from mountains. And before that a lot of this area used to be under water.”

She looked out the window again. “The river was bigger?”

“It wasn’t the river.” Shad bent over to pick up a plastic horse that had fallen to the floor. “It was the ocean.”

Charissa’s face brightened. “The ocean is near here?”

Shad smiled. “Not anymore. Not for a long, long time.” He set the toy back beside her. “It was back around the time of the dinosaurs.”

“Oh.” Charissa looked disappointed. “I wanted to go to the ocean.”

“I’m sure you’ll get to someday.”

“I hope so.” Charissa turned her attention back to the window and her tone became a bit somber. “Maybe if I’m good I’ll get to go to the ocean. I want to go out on a boat.”

His analytical ego shifted back into gear as Shad contemplated her recent remark for a few seconds. Verbal abuse was a foundation for other forms of abuse. Although Monica confirmed that Demetri had never attacked her or Charissa physically, it could sometimes take months or years for abuse to progress to other levels. And Shad’s recent discovery made him contemplate yet another possible violation Demetri could commit against his daughter. Shad took a few more seconds to decide how to word his question.

“What do you have to do to be good?”

Charissa didn’t look at him as she picked up the doll she’d dropped to the seat when the train stopped. “What Dad tells me.” Her earlier enthusiasm had vanished.

“What does your dad tell you to do?”

“To be good.” Charissa looked at Shad a bit earnestly. “Read me a story.”

This had to be payback for all those times Mam and Pap had gently tried to question Shad about his life before he moved in with them, and he always found a way to avoid answering. If only they’d been able to hire a good lawyer, Wally might already be in jail by now. Of course Shad probably wouldn’t be here, then, but rather at a career in computer technology.

That gut feeling haunted him again as Charissa picked up one of the books pulled from the day pack and handed it to him without even looking at which one it was. Her type of case was exactly the sort of situation that made Shad accept the incongruous idea of becoming an attorney. His practice in private and family law usually involved mortgages, property, estates and wills. Shad didn’t handle nearly the number of adoptions he would have preferred, but since becoming a small town attorney in a two-office partnership a year and a half ago, Shad knew that would be the case. Plenty of people came through his door seeking a divorce, but Shad would only take cases that involved protecting the rights of the victimized.

As he accepted the book from Charissa, another memory pushed to the forefront of Shad’s mind. Wally had always been good about reading to him. They used to make trips to the library together and Wally was instrumental not only in teaching Shad how to read but also instilled his love for the written word. Once Wally was gone Shad never got to go to the library anymore. Then Brody moved in four years later. Spurred by memories of the library as being a safe place, Shad began to spend all his free time there in order to keep away from Brody as much as possible. There Erin Delaney noticed the quiet boy who never bothered anything.

Of all the boyfriends that woman had, Wally had been the kindest. But that one component of Wally’s personality made him dangerous. If Shad had been the only boy Wally molested, he’d be more than glad to let the man go. But he had to protect the other boys. He had to stop Wally, but how?

Why did everything always have to be done the hard way?

Chapter Three