Her throat tightened. “I’m not depressed.”
Of course she was depressed.
“You’re not?” Renata asked. “I thought you just lost your mate.”
Karen winced visibly, and Bruno put a hand on Renata’s arm.
“Rennie,” he said, “we’re trying—”
“What?” Renata said. “It’s not like she’s forgotten. Of course she’s depressed.”
Damien said, “We just want Ava to know we’re worried about her.”
“We want her to know she’s not alone,” Karen said. “That we’re here to listen if—”
“Let her be depressed for a while if she wants, damn it. It happened just months ago. And they’d barely met.” Unexpected tears shone in Renata’s eyes. “She had a glimpse of happiness, then it was taken away.” Her voice was hoarse, matching the lump that had risen in Ava’s throat. “If she wants to sleep, let her sleep.”
“I’m fine,” Ava managed to choke out. “I appreciate you’re all worried about me, but really, I’m fine.”
Renata’s eyes cut to her. “Of course you’re not fine. What a ridiculous thing to say.”
This time it was Astrid who put her hand on Ava’s arm before she opened her mouth in anger. “The important thing is everyone grieves in different ways. I think Ava knows we’re worried about her. She knows we care. And she can take as much time as she wants to come to terms with the loss of her mate.”
“Malachi,” she whispered.
“Hmm?”
“His name was Malachi.” She blinked back tears. “You don’t have to avoid his name or pretend he was just some faceless guy.” Her eyes met Damien’s. “He was your friend. Your brother. And you never say his name. I know you miss him, too.”
Damien’s eyes burned into hers. “I’m sorry, Ava.”
“And I sleep…” Ava cleared her throat and decided to just tell them. “I sleep because, in my dreams, he’s there. And for a little while, I’m happy.”
Astrid said, “That’s very normal, Ava.”
“So if I want to sleep a little more, then it’s my own business. I had nightmares for months, and now they’re gone.”
“Good.” Astrid squeezed her arm. “That’s good. I’m glad you’re sleeping better.”
“Thank you.” She paused and took a deep breath, trying to see their interference for what it was. Concern. Caring. Even love. Part of her acknowledged that the pattern she’d developed wasn’t healthy. But most of her didn’t care a bit. Still, she decided to throw a line to the people she’d come to know as friends.
“I guess… since you’re all here, I’ll stay up a little later.”
She didn’t want to. She wanted to sleep. Wanted to feel Malachi’s arms, even if it was only a dream. Ava sat down again, but there was silence for a few moments until Bruno spoke.
“I could eat more cake.”
Karen said, “You can always eat more cake.”
“Then I was smart to fall in love with a baker.”
A knock came at the door. Ava took the opportunity to distract herself and walked to answer it. She cracked open the door and saw the unexpected sight of Sari on the other side. Sari never came to the cottage, and she certainly never did it looking nervous. But there she was. And she was definitely nervous.
“Um…” Ava blinked and opened the door wider. “Hi.”
“May I come in?”
Ava felt Damien behind her. She backed away and let him hold the door.
“Sari?”
He looked as shocked as Ava felt. Even after the sing, when they seemed to stop antagonizing each other, she never visited.
“Sari!” Renata, clueless to the tension or deliberately ignoring it, called out to her friend. “Come in! Wine or coffee?”
“Kaffe, thank you.”
“Of course.”
Karen rose to fill another coffee cup as Damien stood motionless at the door. Finally, Ava stepped forward and closed it.
“What’s the matter with you?” she asked under her breath. “She’s not the queen of England.”
“She came to my door,” he said, his voice tinged with confusion. “With… all of you here.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Get over it.”
“I’ll explain later.” He nudged her toward the table where Sari had sat. “Maybe.”
Damien’s eyes burned into Sari as he sat across from her; Ava saw a smile lifting the corner of his lip.
“My dove,” he finally said, and Ava could almost see Sari flinch at the endearment. “What brings you here—to my door—tonight?”
“You know…” Sari sipped the coffee Renata put in front of her. “This is my land. My guesthouse. So technically, I don’t think this is your door.”
“I believe that’s what they call ‘splitting hairs.’”
Astrid looked amused. “Well, this is entertaining, but I do think there might be some larger purpose to this visit than just coffee and cake.”
“There was a group of Grigori spotted in Bergen,” Sari said.
An entirely different tension fell across the table.
“How many?” Damien and Renata both asked at once.
“Three that we know of. But I’d not be surprised if there were more. There’s an Irin couple who lives there, among the humans. No children. They watch for us.”
Ava leaned over to Karen. “Bergen is the closest town to here, right?”
“The closest one of any real size, yes.”
Renata said, “I’ll go.”
“I’ll go, too,” Damien said.
“No,” Sari said. “This is our territory. Renata will take care of them.”
“Sari, this is no time for—”
“Besides”—she held up a hand—“I’d like you and Bruno to start doing patrols around the perimeter of the haven. Orsala has sensed some outside magic, and she wants us to be careful. Some protective spells written on the trees would be appreciated.”
“Fine,” Damien said in a clipped voice. “And Bruno and I will start patrols. It’s only three Grigori. I’m sure Renata can handle that on her own, anyway.”
“You just wanted to steal my fight,” Renata said with a grin.
“Obviously.”
Sari glanced at Ava. “I don’t suppose you’ve seen any threats?”
“Uh…” Ava looked around the table, confused. “Should I have?”
Sari shrugged. “You’re a seer.”
“I’m not any good, though.”
Bruno snorted.
“No really, you can ask your grandmother,” she said. “I was trying to do… the thing I did the other night at the sing. And I couldn’t. So I don’t know if I’ll see any trouble coming. If there is any coming.”
Everyone just kept looking at her.
“Is there… some trouble coming?”
“Trouble is always coming,” Renata said. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Don’t be too eager,” Sari said. “We don’t want them to know they’re close to anything important. Draw them away from the city, if you can.”
Damien said, “And try to find out who they belong to. I know Grigori in the territory generally belong to Volund, but we had some surprises in Istanbul. Powers may be shifting.”
“Powers are always shifting,” Sari said.
“Change is constant.” Damien stared at his mate. “And healthy.”
“According to you.”
“You can’t stop this,” he said quietly. “You never could.”
“I can try.”
His voice was low and coaxing. “You shouldn’t.”
Ava said, “Well, obviously we’re not talking about Grigori anymore.”
Renata piped up. “I want to take Ava to Bergen.”
“Absolutely not,” Damien and Sari both said at once, then turned to each other in shock.
“You don’t think she should go?” Sari asked.
“No.”
Ava was tempted to butt in. They were talking about her like she wasn’t in the room, and she really wanted to go. Killing—or helping to kill—more Grigori soldiers was what she’d been waiting for.
But she was too curious about the exchange to interrupt. Sari and Damien both stood and glared at each other.
“But she’d be a tactical advantage,” Sari said. “I’ve heard about her range.”
“She’s too young. And untrained,” Damien countered.
“She’d be with Renata.”
“She would still be vulnerable.”
Ava said, “Wait, I’m confused. Is Sari arguing for or against me going with Renata?”
“Shh!”
That came from at least three people, but Sari ignored everyone except Damien. “Are you telling me it wouldn’t be worth the risk?” she hissed, her face pale. “To have an intelligence advantage like her skills in the field—protected and at a distance from combat—are you telling me you wouldn’t risk that?”