“I have to leave so Jax is going to stay here and watch out for you until I get back in two days.”

Ah, now the pieces of the puzzle are all here. I’m being put under house arrest with Jax as my warden. Wonderful. You would think for someone about to turn twenty-eight, Logan would be more lenient towards his younger sister, but you’d be wrong.

Jax decides to enter right as I’m about to protest. Which is good because I know it would be pointless. Logan wouldn’t leave me alone, especially after an Emergency Room visit. Turning away from Jax, I give my brother the biggest smile I can manage. I’m vaguely aware of Jax making more noise then he should, but I solely focus my attention on my brother.

“Make sure to say hi to Connor’s parents for me.” I know that they will get together since Connor’s adoptive parents now reside in the bay area. “I’ll be fine. Call me when you land.”

“Always do.”

Our eyes are drawn towards Jax when he lets something drop to the floor next to my bed. I can’t even hide my irritation when I see the air-mattress. Jax is just as bad as my brother. The drugs they gave me are kicking in and it’s becoming harder to fight off sleep.

For some reason, my witty personality seeps through my hard exterior. I’m usually closed off, barely muttering a “no” when I’m upset. Well, until recently. I’ve been standing up for myself a lot more.

“Ummm no. There’s a perfectly usable bed in the guest-room with your name on it, Jax.” I hope he doesn’t listen to me. Even though I can’t have him, his presence brings me comfort.

In his most mocking voice Jax says, “This is my new bed.” He points down at the air mattress. “Oh, and I sleep naked.”

I have to look away from Jax as I remember a time when his sweaty, naked body was gliding over mine as he slid inside me. I don’t want Logan to suddenly ask questions.

“Leave her alone. I swear if I find out that you slept naked in the same room as my sister, I will cut off the favorite part of your anatomy.”

Jax is smart enough not to say anything. A few minutes later, Logan leaves after I promise that I’ll call him immediately if I need anything. I’m so exhausted that I don’t have the energy to watch Jax walk out of my in-suite bathroom wearing only red boxer briefs.

I wake up, distraught and in a lot of pain. I regret ever opening my eyes this morning. My head feels like I decided to play chicken with a bus and lost, severely. Once my equilibrium returns, I manage to lean against my pillows. I attempt to brush my hair in a somewhat presentable style with my fingers.

I can’t help wanting to look good for Jax. I shake my head, knowing that nothing will ever happen between us. That notion floated away a long time ago. Giving up, I attempt to climb out of bed.

When I can finally manage to stagger to my feet, I notice that Jax spread my robe out on the duvet. He was even kind enough to move the blow-up mattress against the far wall so I wouldn’t have to maneuver around it with my crutches. That would just be asking for trouble. After I knot the silk sash to my robe in place, I hobble on crutches to the bathroom to freshen up before I go search for him.

Peering into the mirror, I almost don’t recognize the person staring back. I’m facing a complete stranger. I have a nasty bruise turning a wonderful shade of purple on my forehead and there aren’t enough brushes in the world to calm my hair. But what’s different is my eyes. Instead of being vacant, a look that I have grown accustomed to, there is a fire in them for the first time in six years. I look like I’m finally alive again. Just as quickly, the fire is gone.

I can’t shake the feeling that it’s time for me to move forward. I need to make a decision. I need to either start living, or I need to give up . . . for good. As I leave my bedroom I realize that I don’t have a choice to make. I already made it. I made it a year after the accident when I decided to seek help. I want to live . . . I just don’t know how.

I make my way to the living room before I call out for Jax. It’s hard to ignore the disappointment that immediately follows the silence. I limp my way to the kitchen, hating the crutches. I fight the smile that wants to appear when I see a note from Jax in his neat handwriting.

Had to run out to buy you a new phone since you decided to take your poor, helpless phone down with you. I’ll bring home breakfast so don’t eat. I already called the bakery and explained why you won’t be in for the rest of the weekend so don’t bother getting dressed for work. Take the medicine I left out for you with a glass of milk

-Jax

Call Logan.

Rolling my eyes, I do as I’m told. I’m annoyed that he placed all of my medicine on the counter for me, even going as far as grabbing a glass, as if I don’t know where I them. Men. Shaking my head, I open the fridge. After I take the medicine, I snag my house phone and wobble to the living room. I collapse onto the couch as gracefully as I can manage with a sprained ankle.

While waiting for him to answer, I wonder if Logan will make Jax stay the entire time he’s away. Logan picks up on the third ring, and by his worried greeting, I have my answer to my unasked question. Yes, Jax will be my new shadow until Logan returns. Hey, things could be worse. I could be locked up in a basement with a serial killer. Okay, so it’s not that bad, but I would enjoy myself a lot more if Jax would stop playing with my emotions.

“How are you feeling? I know you didn’t sleep that good.”

“How do you know how I slept? I swear if you put cameras in my room last night I’m going to kill you. That’s taking overprotective brother syndrome to a whole new level, even for you.”

“HA HA HA, Addie. No, I didn’t need to put a camera in. I had the next best thing . . . an actual person to watch over you for me. You kept him up all night.”

My brother isn’t as funny he thinks he is.

“How could I have possibly kept Jax up all night? I was out in seconds once the pain meds kicked in.”

“You were tossing and turning all night while sleep-talking.”

And just like that, all of the air leaves me. There are too many horrible possibilities of what I could have said last night. I hope it wasn’t anything about my unrequited love. Crap, suddenly I don’t want Jax to come home.

“Everything you said was incoherent, but you were talking gibberish all night and kept Jax up. So I would be a lot nicer to him than you’re being to me.”

“I’m always nice to Jax.” Deciding to change the subject I ask, “So when are you going to take over babysitting duty?”

Logan hesitates before answering. Not good.

“We won’t be back until Saturday night now. Take it easy and try to listen to Jax.” Pausing, he says something to Connor that I can’t hear and then I have his full attention again. “I just need to know you’re safe.”

It’s hard to hide my irritation. I think it’s time for my brother to treat me like the adult I am. “Fine, I’ll play nice since you gave me soooo many options.”

“Great, Addie. I knew you would see it my way. Listen, I have to go. I love you.”

“Love you too,” I say before he hangs up.

I hate that they all treat me like I’m still five and that I can’t take care of myself. All three of them need to realize that I’m twenty-four. Jax is the last person that I need to take care of me.

After discarding the phone on the coffee table, I will myself to relax. My mind drifts over last night’s events and as much as I want to, I can’t dismiss the feeling that I know Kohen. There’s something about him that’s telling me that I know him from a long time ago. That thought is beyond idiotic since I met him for the first time when he rescued me at the gym. He didn’t even know my name until I told him. I chalk it up as seeing him in the building before in passing.

I don’t know why I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s not like we’ll end up dating. I never date. My last date was six years ago with Jax. For a moment I wonder what it would be like to date someone in the open, not having to keep everything a secret; every caress, every smile, every kiss. All too quickly, the image evaporates. Kohen seems like a great guy, too good of a guy for someone like me. The guilt of what I’ve done weighs heavily on my shoulders, crippling me. He deserves someone who isn’t haunted by the past.