“I had fun,” I told him at the door.

“Me, too,” he said softly as he leaned in and I braced myself for a kiss. His answer was only a whisper of his lips and I found myself entirely deflated as he pulled away.

“Do I still fit the criteria, Jayden?” I asked curiously, revealing a hint of insecurity.

“God, that was rude of me. I sometimes say shit I don’t mean. I have a problem with my filter. I mean, it’s the truth, but with you sometimes I overshare. It can make me seem kind of like an asshole.”

“I happen to like it that you’re so honest.”

“Give it time,” he said with a look of dread. I wanted to depart on a good note, so I changed the subject.

“It’s cool. I was just wondering why the other night I was practically half naked in your truck and tonight you gave me a good bye kiss I would expect from my ninety-year-old grandmother.”

He burst into laughter then pulled me into his arms. After a few minutes of simply holding me at his door, he whispered into my temple, “I like you, that’s why.”

“I’ll take it,” I whispered back, pulling away to look up at him. “I like you, too.” And that’s when he captured my mouth, fulfilling my need for his touch. He kissed me long, hard, and thoroughly, letting me know that a kiss had been just as much on his mind as it had been on mine. My panties soaked and my mind on all things Jayden, I stood, hoping for an invitation he delivered.

“How about Wednesday?” he whispered as he tapped his lips against mine one last time, easing us out of the fog. I nodded in response.

“Goodnight, Jayden, and thank you for dinner. So good...all of it.” His dazzling smile muted me as I tore myself away, but not before memorizing his features, and tucking them away.

“Night.”

I spent the next day organizing my life. I paid all the bills I could afford to, cleaned my apartment to white glove inspection worthy, and even managed to spend a few hours organizing my closet. Something inside me knew things were about to change for the better, and in a way I was preparing myself for it. In less than a week, I would be starting a new job that I was excited about. With the toss of the shoebox full of old boyfriend memorabilia in the trash, I knew with that gesture I was ridding myself of my baggage. I would keep my scars—I’d earned them—but I didn’t need a ten year old ticket stub to remember them.

Gerri came home from the lunch shift and plopped herself on my bed as I continued to throw piles on the floor outside my closet that I intended to discard.

“What’s with the nesting? And why is the house so damned clean? Is your mother coming?”

“I decided to get rid of a few things, and no, I just felt like it.” Stepping into my closet, I discreetly lidded my NSYNC memorabilia and tucked it away from Gerri’s view. No one needed to know I had my first orgasm thinking of Justin Timberlake in the Gone video, or that I had gone to see them twelve times in concert, some of them back to back, if I begged my mother enough to drive to the neighboring cities. My box was all I had left out of thousands of dollars’ worth of memorabilia I’d collected. And I wasn’t parting with it, ever.

She gave me a sideways glance as I braved a look at her. I wasn’t the world’s tidiest roommate. Gerri actually had me beat in that department. She often bitched about the large amount of auburn hair that was embedded in the bathroom floor, and my lack of shared garbage duty.

“Well, it looks awesome,” she said, picking a shirt up out of my discard pile and tucking it at her side.

“Sooooo,” I said with big eyes. “Are you going to make me beat it out of you?”

She shot up on the bed and started bouncing excitedly. “I know I shouldn’t have slept with him so soon, so before you start preachin’—”

“No way, I swear. I must have been a real bitch to you when it came to him and for that I’m sorry. No judgment and tell me everything. But before you do, I have a confession.”

“Yeah?” she said with a sweet smile.

“I kind of was excited about my first date with Jayden and walked in on the two of you. He’s got an amazing ass, but that’s all I saw, I swear.”

Her eyes bulged a bit before she burst out laughing. “No wonder you were scarred!”

“Yeah, if I hadn’t just had a full on session with Jayden, it would have been a hell of a lot worse.”

“You like him, huh?” she said, smiling.

“God, he’s awesome...so beautiful, smart, and funny. I could kiss him forever.” I sat down next to her on the bed. “But you go first.”

“He’s...God, it’s so much better than I thought. It wasn’t just the sex, but let me tell you he has that covered. That man is nothing short of a sinner in the sack. I can’t even believe how beautiful his body is and he knows how to work it.” She looked down at her hands. “I haven’t heard from him since, though.”

I looked at her and inwardly groaned.

“Seriously, though, Hil, if he doesn’t call, I don’t think I will be as crushed as I thought I would be. I’ve been thinking about it and the truth is, I don’t think I could ever get hurt like I was with Blake again. It’s just not possible. Mike’s awesome, don’t get me wrong, and I still want him...but...” I looked up at her large blue eyes that told me she meant what she was saying, “with Mike, I think I was kind of playing with fire on purpose.”

I sighed as I wrapped my arm around her. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” she said, the irritation with herself evident. “Maybe to play the bad guy for once, you know, to be in the shoes of the other woman or something. I can’t say I would have turned him down if he was still with his girlfriend.”

“Gerri—”

“I know it’s fucked up, all right. It makes me sick just thinking about it now. Seriously, I’m glad it didn’t go down that way.”

“You can tell me anything, you know that,” I encouraged.

“I know. It’s pretty disgusting, though, isn’t it?” She looked at me warily as I nudged her with my shoulder. “Saturday night I rode Jayden’s lap with my clothes on until I came, then went topless after practically throwing myself at him. I’m in no position to judge.”

She laughed as her eyes got bigger. “Wow, aren’t we a bunch of horny hoes?”

“Right,” I agreed.

“Well, I’m starving. Do you want some food?”

“Take a twenty, order pizza.”

“I’ve got this covered and I stuck a few hundred in your wallet. I had a good couple of days. I promise I’ll do better.”

“No you won’t,” I said, perking up with my next set of news. “But I got a better job. Actually, Jayden found it for me. As of Monday, you are looking at a travel agent.”

“You are shitting me!” I nodded. “Wow, this guy sounds amazing!”

“He really is so far. I’m seeing him tomorrow. And if that asshole doesn’t call you, Jayden’s friends are hot.” I saw a small amount of sadness as I mentioned Mike. “He’ll call, babe.”

“And I’ll live if he doesn’t. I think I needed to know that more.” I agreed whole-heartedly. Gerri ordered pizza as I finished my closet and we spent the rest of the night sipping cheap but delicious Ruinite Lambrusco and playing cards. As if on cue, both of our phones went off. I looked to Gerri who was already smiling. He’d called. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath for her until I saw her walking down the hall, the phone at her ear as she said “hi.”

I looked down at mine.

Jayden: Hey.

Me: Hey back.

Jayden: I’ll pick you up tomorrow around six.

Me: Okay. How was your day?

Jayden: Shit. Better now.

Me: Want to talk about it?