“Pretty much. Each time we went to a party, we’d up the ante. This was the natural progression, if you ask me. But going to Emma and Pete’s is a much safer choice, however.”
“Safer?”
“Yeah, we know them. Everyone is checked out. No diseases, no freak-outs, and no risk of reenacting Fatal Attraction. If we’d gone to the next level on our own, and I screwed some random woman in a bedroom at a party, it could’ve led to major drama. This is controlled chaos. And I get that you’re curious, Jace”—Michael placed an arm on the table—“and I don’t mind sharing. Piper and I are not ashamed of what we do. But your interest sounds like it’s more than just a casual curiosity. Piper told me about what happened in the kitchen the other day, and by the way, thanks for that.” He winked. “She was hot and ready to go when I came home. But she thinks Caroline might have some hidden fetishes that you might need to help her uncover.”
“Fetishes? I wouldn’t go that far.” Jace chuckled at the thought of his proper wife having strange fetishes. “But she was extremely turned on by what Piper told her, which did surprise me. We’ve been married for five years, together for nine, and that’s longer than when you told me your sex life went stale. I’m not saying that Care and I are stale, but having you spill your story at the barbecue made us realize we could start to think about sex differently. So we’ve been talking about it. The fact that Piper and you seem to have everything sorted out proves that different is possible. It makes me think we could venture into experimentation down the road—but, then again, we may never go there. It would take a lot to get Caroline ready to take such a big plunge, so it’s likely a moot point.”
Michael raised an eyebrow. “If your wife likes watching others or having them watch her, there’s nothing wrong with that, you know. And if that’s the case, going back to a rote sex life after learning what’s out there might be impossible. Trust me, your wife is going to crave the next level, and then the next. If you try to go back to ‘normal’ in the bedroom, your sex life could shrink to nothing, and she’ll become resentful and she won’t even know why.”
Jace shook his head. That sounded extreme.
His wife was more levelheaded than that. “Maybe, maybe not. But I have some things in mind to spice us up at home before we discuss anything else. Just like Piper instructed Caroline the day before yesterday, we plan on taking baby steps. My wife woke up yesterday completely appalled by what happened, and your wife was there for maybe ten seconds. I’m not going to be the one to decide what Caroline wants. I’ll help her figure it out if she asks, but this is all up to her. But I can tell you, I’ll be open to whatever it is. This conversation has been eye-opening in more ways than one.”
“Glad I could be of help, and good luck.” Michael held his empty glass up in a salute. “May the Force be with you.”
* * *
Caroline found herself wandering around Tenney Park. It was a beautiful spring day. The sun was high in the sky, and the warmth felt great after the long, cold Midwestern winter.
She needed to clear her head, and the fresh air helped.
Jace was having lunch with Michael, and Piper had canceled their lunch date this morning. Piper worked at an ad agency, and there was some kind of emergency meeting with a huge client who had flown in this morning at the last minute.
Caroline had been so relieved not to have to talk to Piper about what had happened, she’d taken the entire day off.
Now it was time for her to sort out everything that had been flying around in her head.
She sat down on a bench, facing Lake Mendota, exhaling slowly. She didn’t want to think about what Jace and Michael were talking about. She’d coached Jace this morning not to reveal anything about their sex life to Michael, but she knew how men were. They swapped stories like it was a sport. She was still mortified that Piper had witnessed Jace being intimate with her, but through that mortification, a kernel of something else had begun to sprout and grow. It’d gone from a seedling to an oak tree in a very short amount of time, which she’d found to be alarming.
It was something she didn’t want to address, because if she acknowledged it, she’d have to validate it. And if that happened, she feared she’d have to admit she was broken in some way. Or depraved. Yes, that was a word her mother would use if she knew Caroline’s most inner thoughts. Sexually depraved. Yet these provocative thoughts swirled around in her mind like they belonged there, floating through her consciousness without a care in the world.
And they wouldn’t leave her alone, no matter what she did, like daydreams with dirty little minds of their own.
Even now they plagued her.
She sighed as another one replayed in her brain without her permission. She was with Jace, and they were watching another couple have sex. The couple was loving, she knew it instinctively, but they were going at it like no one was watching, saying things to each other—private things, incredibly sexy things—and it was raw and wild. Then, when she thought she would explode from need, Jason laid her out and began to fuck her, hard and rough. It was good, so good. She called out his name, she was close, but she couldn’t come. Not yet. Not until something else happened. The other man, his face was unimportant, came forward. He was naked and reeked of sex. She’d never met him before, didn’t want to know him outside of this interaction, and only when he leaned over and took her nipple into his mouth and sucked, whispering something sexy, did she break apart.
That’s all it had taken.
Another man’s mouth on her.
The incredible high from that daydream alone left her wet and wanting every single time it played out. She was so confused she couldn’t see straight anymore.
How could that be what she wanted?
Another man’s touch?
She felt so ashamed.
At the thought of Jace finding out she desired another man in their bed, she shuddered inwardly. She had unsuccessfully tried to scrub the dream, and the others that had cropped up, from her mind many times since they’d settled there, but they wouldn’t leave. She knew if she didn’t rid herself of them, they would grow and fester into something else—something that could harm her beautiful life with Jason.
Caroline wasn’t going to let that happen.
She had to get past it. That’s why she was here. She was going to cleanse her thoughts completely and figure out a way to amp up their sex life without involving anyone else.
She would do whatever it took.
Jace was enough. He’d always be enough.
She leaned forward, resting her head in her hands, finally giving in to the weariness that pressed down on her. But her ungrateful brain kept rewinding to what Piper had told her over those four hours they’d sat in the kitchen drinking.
Piper believed craving this kind of sexual stimulation was totally normal.
She’d told Caroline, very confidently, “Our response to sexual pleasure comes from the same place in the brain that responds to recreational drug use. We’re animals, Caroline. Plain and simple. This mating-for-life thing is wonderful and keeps us happy in the long term, feeding us a constant stream of dopamine. But a huge sexual encounter creates an avalanche of it. It’s totally normal to crave pleasure. And, as it turns out, some of us will do anything to get it. And why the hell not? Why deprive yourself of the best high you’ll ever have next to doing a line of cocaine?” She’d laughed. “Seriously, the only reason most people aren’t sexually adventurous is because society tells us it’s wrong, and sinful, and horrible, and hedonistic, that you’ll go to hell, or there’s something wrong with you. But I don’t have time for any of that bullshit anymore.” She’d waved her hand. “Whatever you agree on in your own marriage, for your own pleasure, is not wrong. Hell, in Renaissance France, everyone had lovers, even the baker and his wife! Everyone partook in pleasure where they could find it. Why should we live any different? Life is short, and society is dead wrong when it comes to sex. I plan to live my life to the fullest, enjoying every carnal thing I can get my hands on.”