I don’t even have to think about it now. Of course I don’t. But I would, if I were needed. I would … I stop when I realize that’s just what my mother did. And I hated her for it. I don’t want to leave my dad and have him hate me. Right now, I don’t want to think about it. So I concentrate on Trey, the edges of his form shining so very brightly. Not as luminous as I am, but for someone who has been here since the Great Depression, he’s certainly not lost a lot of his glow.

“Your shine,” I say gently. “It’s so bright. And you’ve been here so long. It’s almost as bright as Jack’s.”

He looks down, his face reddening. “Yeah. For a long time I wanted to go back. I was like Jack. Bitter. Angry. I volunteered to be a guide just so I could go over to the other side and see what was going on. See what I been missing. And I missed a lot. But I don’t mean to go against your momma. She’s a good lady. Treated me like my momma would’ve. I won’t do that to her.” He looks up at the sky, shakes his head. “But I come to realize there’s no point thinking about going back. It can’t happen. Not for me. Come on.”

We reach the edge of the river. There’s a small rowboat there, tied to a stump. He motions for me to get in, so I do. “Where are we going?” I ask.

“You’ll see.” He takes up the rope, pushes the boat out a few feet from shore, and hops in.

As he starts to row, I’m suddenly aware what this means. We’re going across. To where Justin is. To where my father is. They won’t be able to see me. I’m remembering how I was screaming at Justin and Angela, and how they just looked through me. The thought of that empty look in their eyes makes my chest hurt. I don’t know if I could stand it if my dad looked through me the same way. “I thought my mom was going to make me alive again?” I ask. “She said that it has to be done quickly.”

“Problem with that.” He looks over his shoulder. “We need your body. That’s what she sent me over to get.”

I nearly choke. “My … body? Why?”

“Well, it won’t do no good if your momma brings you to life and then a month later a fisherman stumbles on your bones, will it?”

“Okay, okay.” I shudder at the idea of seeing my lifeless body again. “Did you get it?”

He shakes his head. “It’s gone. Someone took it.”

“What? Who would do something like that?”

“Don’t know. Humans may have found it. Maybe I didn’t hide it good enough. That would be a problem.” He looks up at the sky, where the sun is beginning to slump from its highest point. “And if we don’t have it back before a search party finds it … Yeah. It will be too late.”

I slosh in my hiking boots through what feels like thick mud. When I come up on shore and attempt to clean my boots, I realize they’re almost perfect. Trey glances at me, and I wonder how the rest of me looks. It feels like I haven’t had a shower in ages. I think of my mother, day after day, wearing the same Phillies shirt she died in years ago. I guess I don’t need to shower, and that thought makes me instantly miss the heavenly spray of hot water on my face and back. And then I look at Trey and realize I’m being stupid, that unlike him, at least I have a chance of getting back, which I’ll probably blow if I keep thinking silly things like how much I miss showers.

“I don’t understand. What would that person do, if the person took over my mother’s rule?”

He says, “A bad ruler here would keep the people angry and bitter, and it’s the angry and bitter people who take a long time to come to peace. They stay here.”

“Like you.”

“Yeah. Like me. Look how long it’s taken me to come around. The bigger the kingdom, the more power the ruler has.”

“So wait—what you’re saying is that if my mom brings me to life again, she will weaken to the point where this person can take over? I will destroy the entire kingdom?”

“Listen. Your momma’s gonna take care of you. Don’t give up this chance. I wouldn’t.” He steps onto a boulder and reaches for my hand, but I’m just standing there, not able to move.

“You wouldn’t?” I mumble. “Really? I feel like a stupid brat. I got myself into this. I should just accept the consequences.”

“Kiandra, I’ll be the first to tell you when you are being a brat. You ain’t a brat for accepting this.”

“No, listen. Jack did this to me. He knew that my mother would try and bring me back. He wants her to do this. He wants to weaken her. If I let her do this, we’re just playing into his hands.”

He nods, unsurprised, and starts to speak, but I put my hand up to silence him. Because, right then, I realize something. “You knew that all this time, didn’t you? Ever since I got here. That’s why you’ve been protecting me. You knew he’d try to hurt me. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I told you he was dangerous. What more did you want?” He’d been reaching for my hand, but now he just digs both hands into the pockets of his jeans. “You were just a girl who stepped on a hornet’s nest, is all. I thought all I needed to do was get you away from the nest. I didn’t want you to know about your momma, about this Mistress of the Waters stuff, because I knew you wouldn’t leave. I’m sorry, Kiandra, but the only way you’re gonna make your momma happy is if you do this. And I’m gonna help her.”

“Maybe I don’t care about making her happy. Why do you follow her so blindly?” I say, my voice rising an octave. “What has she done for you that you keep bending over backward for her?”

He doesn’t say anything, just stands there on top of the boulder, rocking on his heels. From his expression, I can’t even be sure he’s listening.

“She’s not your mother. You may feel guilty about leaving your mother, and your mother may be a saint, but that lady across the river is not her,” I say. “My mother was dying and couldn’t even say goodbye to me. She might have been sick, but she could have had more time with me, and instead, she left. Why should I care about whether or not I make her happy? And you keep following her around, doing whatever she tells you to. You sound pathetic.”

His eyes snap to mine. So he was listening. I catch my breath when I realize all the hurtful things I’ve just said. His face begins to cloud, from clear indifference to a perfect mix of anger and disappointment. His brow sinks, and lines form around his eyes. Still, he says nothing. I open my mouth to apologize but only a muffled sound comes out, because I don’t know what to say. I know what I should do, though. To save him, my mother, the kingdom, I have to leave. I have to run away and never be found.

I turn and run. Trey calls to me to stop, but I keep going. I expect Trey to catch up to me, to grab me, but I am ahead of him, out of his reach. How is it I am so nimble, so graceful? I’m running so fast that everything is a blur around me. The farther I race, the more I know that this is the right thing to do. To be alone, not responsible for anyone else. All at once I feel brave and invincible and athletic, things that I never felt before. The feeling is strangely exhilarating.

I come to a stop when I see something moving among the trees. Slowly, it drags itself along, scraping up the forest floor. Letting the air fill my lungs, I turn. Trey is gone. At first I think it’s an awkward, large animal, like a moose, but it stills at the same time I do. I get the feeling it’s watching me. Now, through the leaves, I can make out crisp pink cloth. I duck my head lower and see the shoes. Girls’ white T-buckle shoes, the surface more scuffs than patent leather. One delicate knee-high is up, and one is pooling around her ankle. I strain to remember her name. “Vi?” My voice is a loud whisper.

I know she can’t answer me. Every time she opens her mouth, that foul black mud will pour over her chin. She doesn’t come toward me, though. She stays there, perfectly still. The forest is so quiet that I can hear her breathing.