She thought she had better have a word with May Day the cleaner; better get her to move it even though it was only a small amount of mess. I wouldn’t like him to get that back on his shoes” Then she thought, “shit why bother?”

On his desk, she saw a catalogue from the world famous Saville Row tailors Jacob and Co; her father used the same company.

It appeared her boss must have his uniforms made privately, no wonder he always looked so immaculate.

She guessed he had something coming off, shoes being prepared, his stick polished and now the hand made woollen uniform to add to those he already had, and of course, no one else did, they were far too expensive.

It seems he was set to impress someone, bullshit always baffles brains she thought.

She then kicked herself as she realised it was the funerals of Bob Friday and Sid Upton, officers she never knew but like the rest would attend the funeral, so would the Chief-Constable and the newly appointed Police Commissioner.

It was clear now why the Chief Super was gathering his finery.

She closed the door to his office as she left and ran down the stairs.

The tea made not only for the obnoxious but also for the minions.

When she arrived, Ethel was whispering that the new lady Inspector was literally covered in tattoos.

 “I think she has them everywhere,” said Ethel excitedly realising she had pleased the officers with her gossip, the more they imagined the better they enjoyed it and the more Ethel felt praised.

“Any on her boobs and arse?” Said Striker, “no wonder the Chief Super gets the first cup of tea.”

Doris realised over hearing the malicious talk “that would be her next burden to carry, but such is life” she thought, “the chance of any of them investigating to reveal anything further was non existent”.

It was the funeral today of Bob Friday and Sid Upton sad affairs from all accounts.

“Ah Ling” said Striker “You will be aware of the funerals today, we are all going, but you stay here in command so to speak.”

“Officers from the next door force in Shropshire will arrive to keep things ticking over to allow all us to attend; you didn’t know them so you can stay behind”.

She smiled and said, “Would you like more tea Sarge?”

“Ah yes I will, you do make a special brew”.

She poured out the tea at the table on the side of the room and quietly dropped a further sample of saliva into the cup, walked over and handed it to him then smiled as he nodded his approval after taking the first sip.

Doris later stopped Ethel in the corridor, “Why did you tell them all those lies about me?”

“What lies would that be?” replied Ethel.

“You know full well, the tattoos, a complete set of lies”

“Well not really”, came back Ethel, “I saw one on your arm so made it more interesting and flowered it up, they like thinking of the boobs and bums bit, they are men”.

“I am not much pleased Ethel, every man and his dog will know of your ridiculous story by the end of the day.”

“It was only a joke,” replied Ethel as she walked off.

Over the coming days, there were other solemn ceremonies as the other dead officers in the other forces were put to rest.

 None of the officers or the circumstances or causes of death being known to each of the other forces or those involved.

They were all laid to rest, the ceremonies although unrelated of course still followed similar lines, as the police forces recalled their military type days.

Guards of honour, helmets, caps and flags on coffins, officers lining the routes, salutes and orations of how popular all the officers were and their good conduct and devotion to duty

The official enquiries all closed due to the cases being natural causes, the families left to mourn and pick up the remnants of their lives, it was business as usual in the various police forces and stations.

In Tarporley life continued in the same mundane way, Jack the hat and the lovely Anne now had the house straight. No greenhouse in which to play, no golf club he could go to, none of his neighbours who were golfers had invited him to a round or two even though he had left his golf clubs outside in open view, not as a reminder of course.

Life was spent walking, shopping in Chester and for a little variety the occasional foray into Manchester and visiting the village coffee shop.  They sat alone but did take some pleasure from overhearing the various tittle-tattle passing between the various Cheshire ladies and groups, designer spectacles secured with gold chains fitted on the ends of noses, for better effect.

 Taking small sips of their morning coffee and just as small mouthfuls of the various cakes and fancies advertised as home made but clearly bought in.

Most of the conversations about other members who did not happen to be present on that particular morning.

The Richards couple became known as “those people from down the road or the other side of the street”, who continued to drink tea at mid morning rather than coffee, and continued to refuse food except for one day when Jack struck back.

They arrived, it was 11am precisely, the room was more or less full, it being hair perm Friday so the salon was fully booked.

 Jack from his many years, as a detective dealing with all manner of crime was still very observant.

On this particular day on entering the café he saw Girda, she was alone, he seized the opportunity and asked

“Oh could we please have two slices of the carrot cake?”

Girda looked up in amazement and was so taken aback to please her boss.

All in the hope of not only continuing to work at the establishment but to stay in the UK and later to bring as many relatives as possible to this new found land of the free.

 Not freedom of liberty, but freedom to claim unlimited medical care and state benefits including family allowances for children back home that did not exist.

Girda hastily reached for the serving knife and two plates. Jack seized on the opportunity, Anne began to smile she knew his game.

“We will have those two pieces at the front please?" he said.

 Girda took them placing them on the tray and then made the drinks, picked up the tray and was about to leave, saying

“You two, you do go, I bring to table”.

Just at the critical moment, Mrs Delwright appeared, and immediately she saw the two missing pieces of carrot cake from the front of the plate.

She was about to speak when seeing the missing items but she hesitated and having thought better of it did not speak but looked with a grimace and took a deep breath.

Anne and Jack were seated and he enjoyed the carrot cake.

 Anne commented, “Jack you are a one, how naughty of you”.

 He smiled with a grin of victory.

Things were not so good behind the counter when Girda arrived back with a smile announcing, “The new people had actually bought something to eat”.

“You gave them the two pieces from the front of the plate Girda, you must take more care” said Mrs Delwright

“I don’t understand,” asked Girda with a look of mystery upon her face”.

Mrs Delwright took another deep breath and whispered, though Jack still had the ears of an investigative detective and heard her next words.

“Girda I always put two large pieces at the front of the plate with smaller ones at the back, in this way customers are tempted to buy but they receive a smaller piece, so I get at least one portion extra per plated cake”.

“Oh I see” apologised Girda, “that man he must see, him very crafty, I think”.

“Yes a bloody copper they tell me, what else can you expect?” She blurted.

The tragedy continued for Mrs Delwright as Jack ate his slice of cake but only took one bite out of the other and left it, but continued to hold his fork on the plate to prevent its removal, normally done in quick time.