“I will be bloody glad when he retires; our Chief is too bloody weak to have told him and Richards to piss off.”

“What will you do sir?” asked Striker.

“I will give you a lesson in diplomacy Striker, sit and learn.

“Hello Ling, Chief Super here, leave what you are doing get the Richards fellow up to my office forthwith”

“There Striker, he will be here shortly just watch the stick and carrot working”.

Inspector Scott-Ling put down the phone and went immediately to the visitor.

“Mr Richards?”

This caused him to turn and he saw the very lady Inspector who had just been verbally abused by Striker.

“Yes” he said, “that is I”

“If you would care to follow me, I will take you to the Chief Superintendent”.

He looked at his watch he had been waiting nearly twenty minutes, it seemed Striker was correct in his assumption the wait would be some time.

“Thank you Inspector” he replied and followed her through the corridors and upstairs.

“Yes, come in” was the instant reply to her knocking on the door of Denton-Smyth.

She entered, Richards behind her, “this is Mr Jack Richards sir, you are expecting him?”

“Ah yes Mr Richards how pleasing it is to meet you, please be seated. “ Striker stood up giving his seat to Richards.

“Now Mr Richards I have been briefed by the Chief-Constable on your mission to look into these perfectly natural deaths as a sort of entertainment for the next conference and after dinner thing a me jig, for the Chiefs”.

“I regret to say that due to operational requirements we do not have a spare office here from which you can operate, neither do I have a detective of any rank let alone a senior and experienced officer available to assist you, again, due to operational circumstances.”

“I am however very keen to assist you, I have therefore decided to allocate Ling here to assist you between her normal duties here in Chester.”

“As regards an office, this will be arranged, Sergeant Striker will arrange for you to have an office next door in the police museum”.

Jack made no comment; his forty years of experience told him, that this was a case of keeping ones mouth shut until at least the lay of the land was clearer.

“Well now” continued Denton-Smyth “I am rather busy, if you would take Mr Richards to the museum Ling, show him around”.

“Striker you will telephone them and ensure the staff there are fully aware and I mean fully”, he winked as he spoke.

“Oh by the way Mr Richards, please keep me updated as to any developments, I await the result with interest,” which caused him to laugh and Striker with him.

Richards looked and replied, “You can be assured sir; I will keep you fully aware of all you need to know”.

“That’s it Richards, good man, do your best on a losing wicket eh, good show”.

With that, he looked down; the interview clearly was finished as far as he was concerned.

All three left the room and once in the corridor Striker said, “I see, so you’re both on a mission for an after dinner party, a who dun nit thing”.

This caused him to laugh loudly then he put his hand over his mouth.

Richards made no reply but was thinking a lot.

Once down stairs Striker called, “Ling get him into the museum and remember when you are there doing this comical enquiry and there is no staff on you leave the keys here in key cupboard at the end of each day, got it”.

“Yes sergeant”, she replied

Seated at his desk Striker smiled when his phone rang, he picked it up and said “Sergeant Striker?”There was a pause,

“Oh, hello sir, you handled that well I thought”.

“Yes, thank you Striker, it’s all a bloody waste of time but we will have to play a long with it for now, try not to rattle him too much. I thought what a great way to get shut of Ling”

“Indeed it was sir, you certainly have a way with you boss.

“Thank you Striker”.

“Oh, sir?” said Striker “one final thing”.

“And that is Sarge?”

“Ironic you should think of sending the old has been and the new dopey woman to the Museum of all places, I like it, you have a sense of humour boss”.

Denton-Smyth shook his head, smiled but thought privately, “yes true but if I told the truth a simile hadn’t struck my mind before Striker mentioned it.”

Sergeant Reg Large the Museum officer in charge picked up the phone.  It was Striker.

“Reg, Tom next door here. Ling is coming round with a fellow called Richards, from the Chief Super. Find them an office upstairs out of the way.  They will update you save me wasting more time”, the call ended

  Reginald Large was known as "Strutter" due to him being small and over weight which caused him to appear to strut about when walking with taller officers, in his vain hope of keeping up with his tall colleagues.

He was not very oh au fait with the Chief Super after they had been walking in the city on a race day and poor old “Strutter” had been told to walk on the pavement whilst his boss had walked on the road, thus making Reg Large appear taller.

Jack the Hat followed Inspector Doris Scott-Ling into the Police Museum to view the office allocated to them

Arriving inside, Large saw the arrivals and said

“Tom Striker has telephoned; it seems you two miscreants need an office, what is it all about?”

“Ah Sergeant Large, said Doris, “Mr Richards here, assisted by myself, is tasked with investigating some deaths for an after dinner comedy entertainment stint before the Home Secretary, later in the year”.

“Typical of this bloody Government”, thought Large “a comedy evening they are all bloody comedians, follow me”.

 “Well now, Mr Richards you may not know, but this place, the museum I am referring to is the oldest part of the building.”

“The rooms and fittings throughout are original from the very old days.”

“The place is open to the public every day except Sundays, myself and the rest of the staff are here as guides and advisors not to be forgetting the security of items, visitors are mostly school parties and tourists.”

“You will be housed so to speak upstairs in the old offices of the criminal investigation department.”

The public do not have access to that area just on the ground floor here.”

“We also use the first floor as a kitchen and a canteen.  You should be safe here; do you have any CID experience Mr Richards?”

“Yes, just a little”, replied Jack, leaving it at that.

“In that case, follow me,” replied Large.

They all went up a flight of stairs arriving in an office marked “Detectives Only”,

“There you are Ling and your name is?” looking at Jack.

“I am Jack, I am alright, the man tasked with investigating the cases, after forty years this is my first investigation into a comedy or an evening of entertainment.”

“Oh. I see”, replied Large.  “You know the hours Ling, 9am to 5pm Monday to Saturday, closed all day Sunday, if you require different hours, get or return the keys to the duty Sergeant next door, I will bid you good day”

As he left and was, walking downstairs he could clearly be heard saying to someone on the stairs, “We have dopey Doris and some old has been, working here for a while, try not to take the piss too much, the old bugger must have contacts on high”.

There was laughing and moments later an officer arrived, the opposite in appearance to Large by name small by nature, this officer announced, “I am Bill Smith they call me Smudge for obvious reasons”.

Before he could say anything further there was a shout, it was Large,

“Ling whilst you are here put the kettle on, make us all a brew and make sure mine is done the same way Striker says he gets his”.

“Ok Sergeant” she replied, she turned and was gone in a flash Smudge with her.