Her brows flew up. He knew how it sounded to outsiders, but he wanted, no he needed her to understand at least on some level how important and honored a situation it was.

“Every mated pair does it their own way. Sometimes all three people are there. Other times it’s just the female and the anchor. The anchor holds an important place in the lives of that couple. Not a romantic place,” he amended quickly. “I know you saw Tracy and Nick and Gabe and you might wonder. But what they have is exceptionally rare. Most of the time the anchor is like a best friend to the couple. A godfather to their kids. He comes to Thanksgiving and Christmas and the big holidays. And when that anchor mates himself, it’s generally hoped that the bonded pair opens up their family to the new mate. I know it’s a lot. Like I said, I’ve been wanting to tell you all this at a better time.”

“So I’d have sex with another dude. And you’d be down with that?”

“Admittedly, the idea is difficult to imagine now that it’s a reality. I’ve always held it to be a respected tradition and I see it all the time. It works. And it would protect you, which means everything. I know it’s shocking and maybe, most likely, outside of what you’d think was okay sexually. But it’s a beautiful thing and I’d be with you during the whole thing.”

“I don’t even know what to say.”

“I’m sorry this has to be sprung on you like this. I wanted to wait at least a few weeks before I told you. I know you have a lot going on in your head. A lot of stress and pressure. You’re it for me. I want you any way I can have you. Nothing has changed. Take the time you need to think on it.”

He knew deep down that she wasn’t going anywhere. When he’d seen her face as Esme had been touching him, the way she reacted had made his wolf preen. She was pissed off. A pissed-off woman was a magnificent thing to behold. At a distance sometimes. But her being jealous that way meant she felt it too.

Esme had understood it right then and had apologized before she left. Tracy had only smiled and patted his shoulder while telling him they’d work it out.

He’d tell Michelle all that. One day. In months or maybe a year.

Michelle licked her lips, absolutely floored by what he’d said. “I’m pretty sure that test you take for stress factors, you know the one, like moving or getting married or divorced adds points? I’m pretty sure this last week has killed that test dead.”

He let go of her upper arms and ran the backs of his fingers against her cheek. She leaned into his touch and felt better. The barest, rawest truth was that when she was with him she was not alone. When she’d been with Gina and Rhonda and they’d used magick and had shown her some things to defend herself, when Owen had hooked her up with the guy who’d teach her defensive and battle magicks, she hadn’t been alone.

There was a whole world there in Portland just waiting for her to be part of. A world where she didn’t have to be lonely. A world with a man who loved her and wanted to be with her for always. And she didn’t doubt what he’d told her. She knew enough to understand the mating stuff. The extra-guy thing was a little unexpected. But…well, it could be okay if she had a choice. Even hot maybe.

“I grew up in a house without a dad. My mom, well, she had a series of boyfriends because she has no real identity unless she’s with someone. But her choices, my God. I guess, when I realized it was because she hated herself, hated her magick and that she was a witch so she punished herself with men who weren’t good enough for her, I realized that I would never let myself be ashamed of that part of myself.”

She moved to his windows and looked out over evening in Portland. Wet from rain, the lights glittering, the asphalt dark and slick. He joined her, but didn’t get so close she couldn’t think.

“So I had this career. And I love being a cop. I’d want to do that here too. Something along those lines. It’s part of who I am. I like protecting people. Which I suppose is what you do too, which is pretty cool. Anyway. I am not ashamed of being a witch, but even though I’ve known it forever and have had contact with other witches pretty much my whole life, I have not really lived as a witch. I think you know more about it than I do.”

She wanted to give him the words because he’d been so good to her.

“When I first heard you say I was your mate, I was so angry. I felt rejected.” She turned to him, putting her fingers over his lips and then pulled away because every time she touched him she wanted him and she needed to get all this out. “I get it now. I understand, and I’m so grateful you gave me this space even though I’m sure it’s been hard. But you did it for me and that means something.

“I’ve been alone for a long time. I’ve had Allie and she’s important to me. She’s my best friend. The only other person I know, before you came back into my life anyway, who shared this secret, who I really could talk to and share with. I never allowed myself to imagine what it would be like to have someone like you. To have something like a mate bond.”

She wiped away her tears, and he took her hand, kissing her fingertips.

“I have been so lonely, and you, this world has filled me up in ways I’ve never thought possible. Suddenly my future is full of so much energy and magick and connection, and I’m thrilled and excited.”

He moved to a box of tissues and brought them to her.

“It’s immense. There’s so much I need to process. And I can’t until I find Allie. I’m not rejecting you, but I want to celebrate this thing between us. I want to know more before I do it, and I just can’t put that sort of energy into it right now. Do you understand?”

He nodded and kissed her cheeks, so gently that it made her tear up again.

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Take the time you need. I’ve already told you I’ll answer all your questions. Thank you for sharing all that with me. It breaks my heart that you’ve been so alone and that I contributed to that when I left.”

She shook her head and smiled. “I’ve forgiven that. You’ve apologized but I get it. I understand why it had to happen, and to be honest with you, I think it was part of the whole big plan anyway. That you and I had our path to walk, had experiences we needed to go through and get past so we could come back together later on and truly appreciate what we had.”

“I like that. Tracy said something similar to me. They know. You should hear that from me too. Esme, the female from today…”

She growled. “Her.”

He hid a grin but she saw it anyway. “Anyway, wolves are notorious gossips. Once members of the pack see us together, they’re going to know. It’s all right. We have our own timeline and no one else has a say over it. But I didn’t want you going into some event without knowing that.”

“I need a soak in some Epsom salts before you get what that look on your face is asking for.”

He burst out laughing and sobered quickly. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“I’m gonna guess it’s like anything else. Lots of practice will make me more, um, used to such activity.”

He pulled her into a hug, and she held on, her ear pressed to his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

“I do actually have some Epsom salts. Like I said, we heal fast but not instantly.”

“I hate that your job is dangerous.”

“Ditto, gorgeous. But it’s who we are.”

“All right. I’m going to make some calls. Just to check in with Pam and this Cesare guy that Gage spoke of. Then I’m going to take a bath and then you can pleasure me.”

He snorted. “I’ll run you a bath. I have some calls of my own to handle. Some folks from National will be in town next week, and I want to be sure everything is in place.”

“I’d have a choice, right? In who the anchor was? Is. Whatever.”