“Fuck that!” He pulled his tux jacket off, having long ago gotten rid of the bow tie. She’d have been lying to herself to deny how much she enjoyed how worked up he was getting. As it happened, he was pretty hot when he got agitated. And it was in defense of her.

“Look, you’re with me. This stuff, dinners and benefits and that jazz, comes with the territory. There is no way I’m going to tolerate any sort of disrespect toward you. Period. Gwen is out of her fucking mind. Jesus. First of all, she’s lucky you showed restraint. You’re a good four inches taller and I’d put money on you ten times out of ten.”

She smiled at him. “You really do give good flattery. Anyway, she’s probably the type to cry at the sight of a bug. She doesn’t matter. She touched me and that was when we had the problem.”

“I’m never sure how you’re going to react to anything I say.” He took his shirt off and she sent him a raised brow. “What? Don’t you want me to be comfortable?”

“I told you I was feral when we first met. You’re the one who keeps poking around.”

She kept replaying the part about how she was with him and how he wasn’t going to tolerate any disrespect of her. Over and over, like a shiny treasure.

But she wasn’t some society babe. She nearly got into a fistfight in the ladies’ room.

“I can see the look on your face. You stop with this feral crap. You’re not the one who caused a scene in a bathroom at a charity benefit.”

“Well, let’s be real here, Jonah. It’s not like I tried to heal her with the love from my heart when she came in and started getting crazy. I poked her. Plus, I said that stuff to your mother.”

He took her face in his hands. “She needed it. And I did too. When you reveal stuff like that it breaks my heart. Even as I am so amazed by you and your strength.”

“Don’t build me up into something I am not. I shouldn’t have popped off. She’s your mother.”

He snorted. “She was being rude and you slapped her with it. It’s good. She respects that. I know that’s sort of psycho. I can’t make excuses for her. She’s very protective and sometimes it turns her into a total bitch. But you held your own.”

“Look, I’m no stranger to how women relate to each other. It was just a lot in one night.”

“I’m worried about Mal. I have been for some time. This situation between Gwen and Daisy has been simmering for nearly two years. She had avoided Levi because she knew he’d skin her alive if she did another thing. I don’t know what finally pushed her into action. But thank you for defending Daisy. You didn’t have to.”

“Of course I did. Also, she insulted me too. I hate to point out the really totally obvious but how has it escaped your notice that she’s unnaturally obsessed with who Levi is fucking? And you now? Did you? Or did Levi, you know?”

The horrified disgust on his face answered before he said a word. “No. Good god. She’s been with Mal for several years. I was with Charlotte when they first got together. Levi with Kelsey. Neither of us would have done that to our wives or to Mal for that matter.”

“All I’m saying is that she’s really interested in something that’s really just not her biz. And so why? It is my belief, given the little I’ve seen, that she’s got a hard-on for Levi. And because you and Levi are close, now that I’m around, she just sees it all as one bad thing.”

“I’m thoroughly creeped out now.”

She laughed, pushing him to his back. “You don’t find her the least bit attractive?”

“Fuck no. She’s not my type. Is she yours?”

“No. I never went for dainty women. Or helpless women. Or helpless men either. She’s got a barely leashed sanity thing, not cute. But she’s married to your brother.”

“I saw his face tonight. He looked really sad. I don’t know how this will shake out for him, or for them. Back to my mother for a second.”

“God, why? It’s like you keep throwing cold water on me.”

“The whole auction thing. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. It’s what people do when they get involved with a charity.” She shrugged. “It’s a good thing. I don’t mind helping out.”

“But you don’t seem to have a lot of positive memories of your experience in foster care.”

She sucked in a breath. “Look, I really don’t do vulnerable well. I’ve said a lot today, more than I have in a really, really long time. I’m raw.” Horrified, she heard the tears in her voice and tried to turn away, but he was there.

“Shh.” He gathered her close, even when she tried to push him back. “Let me. If not for you, for me then.”

She let herself believe the lie that it was for him instead of her. Let herself go still, burying her face in his neck, breathing him in, holding on tight.

“Will you let me sleep over? So I can hold you?”

She tried to get free and once he knew she really wanted it, he let her go and she got some distance.

“I’m not . . . comfortable with it.”

“Why? You’ve shown me the most intimate parts of yourself. Do you think I’d care about morning breath?”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t.”

“Do you think I’d hurt you?”

If he’d asked in a different tone, one absent a thread of hurt, that curiosity that was really about her and wanting to know her, she might have resisted. But she was too tired to hold the words back.

He saw it break over her. The moment she decided to tell him. And he braced himself.

“I don’t sleep over. I don’t couch surf. I don’t let anyone sleep with me. I don’t sleep with anyone in the room with me. Not ever. There are times I might sleep at someone’s house, but I barricade the door from the inside. I have these mini alarms that go off if someone opens the door when I’m asleep.”

He sat up, needing to be near her, but he could see in her body language that he needed to give her some space.

“When you’re asleep you’re vulnerable. People can do stuff. And you don’t know until it’s happening.”

Sick, he clenched his hands into fists.

“So I had enough of that. When I left . . . when I came out to L.A., I made myself many promises. That was one. I don’t think you’d hurt me.” She started to cry and it seemed to startle her as much as it did him. “I don’t. But I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know. I’m not normal, Jonah. I’m jagged and fucked up and I don’t know if this is going to work between us because you have a normal life and you have people who love you and you can sleep in the same room with someone and not have nightmares about being raped.”

He was up, moving to her before he knew it. He pulled her into his arms and they both went to the floor. He rocked her, her tears on his skin, her entire body trembling as he stroked a hand over her hair and made wordless sounds to comfort what couldn’t ever be comforted.

He held his own emotion back. Just barely. But he knew she needed to get it out. The way she sobbed he bet she hadn’t given in to tears in years. This needed to be about her, and if he let go of the rage simmering in his belly, she’d hold back. And God knew she’d held back more than enough for far too long.

She finally quieted down and after a time he pulled back enough to look into her face. Her gaze was down and he kissed her forehead. “Hey.”

“I’m so sorry.” She tried to move but he held her in place.

“I don’t accept your apology. You don’t get to apologize for having emotions. Now. How about some tea?” He stood, bringing her to her feet along with him. He kept an arm around her waist as he moved to the kitchen area.

She said nothing as he deposited her on a stool at the kitchen island and rustled through her cabinets. “Christ, who knew you’d be the type to have ninety types of tea?”

She sighed and he looked back over his shoulder. “You’re going to have to help me. Which?” He waved a hand at the array of tea she had in her cabinet.

“The one with the sleepy bear on it.”

“Ah. Makes sense I guess.”


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