“Carter, why haven’t we gone after that motherfucker yet?”

“I don’t even think he’s back in town yet, J.” My cell phone rings and it is work, probably wondering why I ran out of there like a crazy person. “Hello? Yeah, I had an emergency…I can’t right now…you don’t understand-”

Jason taps me on the shoulder. “Carter I’ll stay here if you need to go.” Jason cares about Maddy more than he’d admit. He had a sister, Sara, who died when he was twelve. Maddy is his new adopted sister. He’ll protect her just as well as I would.

“All right, count this as my break then…yeah, I’ll see you in less than an hour.” I hang up, hating that I need to keep this job. “Listen, Jason, I just want you to know how much I appreciate everything.”

“It’s no problem, Carter. I feel like she’s a part of my family.” I knew he meant that, and it is the only reason that I feel even a little okay with going back to work.

“Alright, well, I need to be back soon. I’m gonna go see her.” I walk into the bedroom and Maddy is curled into a ball, crying. I crawl onto the bed and wrap her in my arms, but she stiffens.

Then I remembered that Jason told me her dad said her boyfriend had called. She still thinks it was me. I don’t let her back away from me, but just hold her to my chest. I kiss her head. “I didn’t call him, baby. It wasn’t me. Please don’t pull away from me.”

Madison

He didn’t call him? Who did then? No one even knew my background except for Carter and…Chris. He was doing all of this to mess with me.

I snuggle closer to Carter. If I could crawl inside  of him I would. Seeing my dad today seemed unreal. He looked so normal, nothing like the miserable drunk that I remember.

“Are you okay, babe?”

That is a complex question and I don’t have a concrete answer. “I’m better, now that you’re here.” I look up and kiss him.

“Listen, I ran out of work when Jason called me. If I want to keep my job, I need to leave in like a half-hour. All you have to do is say the word, though, and I’ll stay.”

I know he is serious, but I wouldn’t make him do that. “It’s okay. I’ll be fine. It’s about time I put my big girl panties on and start dealing with my problems.”

He smiles. “I prefer your panties off.” He kisses me. He always knows the right thing to say to me. No matter how upset I am, he always knows what I need to hear to make me feel better. “You sure you’ll be okay?”

I nod my head. “I’m going to have to be.”

“Are you still going to come tonight?”

I completely forgot that Nicole and I had made plans to go to Rebellion tonight. I figured if Carter needed to work, at least I could be there too. “Yeah, I guess so. Nicole would kill me if I canceled on her.”

“Nicole wouldn’t be the only one heartbroken.” I kiss him. I love him so much. “I hate this, babe, but I have to go.” He gives me one last hug. “I’ll see you tonight. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I will be. I’m going to go shower. Tell Jason I’ll be out in a few. I love you.”

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to leave for work when all I can picture is you in the shower.” He positions himself on top of me. I can feel his erection rubbing against me. I wish he could just stay here. I lean up and kiss him, but it isn’t sweet like before. It is full of need and passion. Carter has this ability to make me get lost in him and when we are together, everything else fades away. “I could always find another job, you know.”

No, I’m not going to let him do that. “As much as I want you here, Carter, you have to go.”

He jumps up off the bed. “Well, I need to go now then, or I won’t be able to. I love you. I’ll see you tonight.”

After I shower, I go and hang out with Jason. I plop down next to him on the couch. “So, do you have a hot date tonight?”

He shakes his head and laughs. “No, Mads, I don’t date.”

This confuses me. Jason is definitely a catch. He is hot by any girl’s standards and he is a great person.

“Why not, J?”

“Truth?”

“Truth.”

He seems uncomfortable and apprehensive about whatever he is about to tell me. “My sister died when I was twelve. It crushed our whole family. My mom left us right before I started high school. She didn’t even say anything to us about it. Dad and I had been visiting my uncle and, when we came back, she was gone. No note or anything, just gone. I don’t let anyone in because I don’t want to have to deal with it when they walk away. Carter and Shawn are the only people I’ve let in for a really long time, and now you. I don’t bother with dating. I’d rather just have fun and keep my inner circle small.”

That is horrible. If anyone knows how it feels to be abandoned, it is me. I can relate to how Jason is. It is hard feeling like you aren’t wanted. “I understand, J. Trust me, I do, but let me tell you something that I realized recently. You can’t let your past dictate how you live your present and your future.”

“Thanks, Mads, I just don’t want to open myself up to that right now.”

I hoped he could get past this one day. Jason is great and he has such a big heart. “Okay, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.”

“I’m fine, Mads. You don’t need to worry about me. How are you, though?”

“Um…I’m dealing with it. He looked so different. I can’t get it out of my head. He looked like my dad, not the monster I was taken away from. He seemed like he was doing well, but I hate that he had that effect on me. I hate that Chris found another way to get to me. I just want this to be over.”

“So you think it’s him too?”

I know it is Chris. I just don’t understand why he can’t let me go. I feel like he’s been more interested in me since we broke up, than he was when we were actually together. I’m sure it’s because he lost his control over me. I’m no longer his possession and he can’t stand it. “Yeah, I do. Well, I really need to get ready.”

“Okay. I told Carter I’d pick up Nicole and we’ll all go together. If that’s okay with you.”

I walk over and give him a hug. “Thanks for everything today, Jason. You know, I always wanted a big brother and now I feel like I have one. Think about what I said, J. Don’t be afraid to let people in. Not everyone will hurt you. Carter helped me see that.”

I walk into the room and start to get dressed. I need to follow my own advice and let the past stay in the past.

Chapter Twenty Nine

Carter

I can’t wait for Maddy to get here. I just need to see her and make sure she is okay. I am working the floor tonight; I specifically asked my manager to do it. I figure if I can’t be with Maddy tonight, at least I can be closer to her than I would be if I was working the front door.

I glance toward the door and that is when I see her. She went shopping with Nicole yesterday for an outfit that I’ll have to thank her later for.

Maddy has on a black dress that ties around her neck. It dips into a low V at her breasts and comes to a stop just above her knees. She looks beautiful. I make my way over to her and pull her into me. She has heels on that make her almost my height so she doesn’t have to stand on her tiptoes to kiss me.

I am working so I really can’t do what I want to. “You look beautiful, baby.” I turn to look at Nicole, who also has on a short dress. Jason is standing behind her and I noticed he was staring at Nicole. Was Jason checking her out?

I need to talk to him later about this. “You did well with this dress, Nic.” She smiles at me. I am really glad Maddy has a friend like her. “You don’t look too bad yourself, either. Don’t you think so, J?”

He looks at me like he wants to kill me. “Yeah, she looks great.”

“I need to get back to work, babe, but I’ll see you at midnight, okay?”