They stood in a heavy silence until the door clicked closed behind them.
“What do you want, Alessandra?” His voice was solemn, level, resigned.
In an attempt to calm her racing heart, she took a slow, deep breath before repeating the question she’d practically shouted as she’d burst through the door. “I want to know why you did it.”
A frown creased his brow. “So you said. Why did I do what, exactly?”
“Why did you offer to let my father stay on at Ingram? The company was well within your reach by then. Why would you even care?”
His scowl deepened. “We discussed this.”
“Yes, but when we discussed it before you only told me what you proposed. You didn’t tell me why.”
“You didn’t ask.”
“I’m asking now. Why would it matter to you if my father stayed on at Ingram?”
He gave a sad half smile. “Your dad wondered the exact same thing.”
Allie drew a shaky breath. Picturing her father and Hudson in the same room was hard enough. Hearing their conversation replayed in her head was excruciating. “And what did you tell him?”
Hudson sighed and looked down at his shoes. When he lifted his gaze, it was wary. “I told him it was because I loved his daughter.” His voice was quiet but his conviction was clear. He’d tried to broker a deal with her father because he loved her? The revelation caused her heart to hammer inside her chest, but the momentary high was short-lived. He said loved. As in past tense. Had her efforts to push him away been successful? Had she finally proved more trouble than she was worth?
A lump formed in her throat, choking the words that came out of her mouth. “And now?”
His eyes roamed over her face for long moments before he spoke. “And now I feel like I’ve lost a piece of my fucking soul.”
Tears welled in her eyes. “But you said loved, as in the past—”
“I love you, Allie. I always have, and God help me, I think I always will.”
“I love you, too, Hudson.”
He reached her in two strides, his hands framing her face as he sealed his mouth over hers. His fingers trembled against her skin but his kiss was strong and confident, his lips taking hers with an undeniable possession.
As if a sigh of relief, Allie melted against his hard frame. Her lips parted, letting his tongue slide against hers in lush, deep strokes she felt echo to her very core. This was what she’d missed the past few weeks; this was what she’d needed to feel whole. The thought that she’d almost lost him forever collided with her burning need and it was too much. The emotion of the moment swept over her and a broken sob escaped her lips.
“Don’t cry,” he rasped. His lips brushed across her face, kissing away the tear that spilled down her cheek. “I know how badly I’ve hurt you, and it kills me to see you cry.”
She shook her head. “It’s not that.”
Hudson leaned back, his gaze soft and unfocused. “Then what is it?”
The tears flowed freely now. She cupped his face with her hand, wanting him to understand their meaning. “Yes, you hurt me, Hudson, probably more than anyone ever has or ever could, because you’re not like the others. You see the real me, you always have. My life was a mess when we found each other. But with Julian out of the picture, I finally had the chance to start over. And I should have given you that chance, too. I should have let you come clean and have a fresh start, let us have a fresh start.” She took a stuttering breath. “We finally had the chance fate had denied us for ten years, and I let my pride and anger ruin it. I pushed you away.”
He pressed his lips to hers. “I’m right here, Allie.”
“I want you, Hudson. I always have.”
“You’ve got me, baby.” He teased her with gentle licks, coaxing her lips apart. “I’m not going anywhere.”
His words ratcheted her desire for him to an almost debilitating need. With a soft moan she deepened their kiss, her tongue darting out to meet his. One hand fisted his shirt while the other tangled in his thick, wavy hair, holding him to her. She’d spent so much time pushing him away when what she really needed and wanted was to pull him closer. And now that she’d let her guard down, now that she was letting him in, she couldn’t get close enough. She needed his skin touching hers. She needed him inside her. Now.
“I need you,” she gasped as his mouth slid down her throat. “Need you inside me.”
A growl vibrated deep in his chest. His hand slid down her back, cupping her backside and yanking her hard against his erection. “Feel what you do to me, Allie. You make me so fucking hard it hurts.” His arm banded around her waist, lifting her onto the edge of his desk. Papers fluttered to the ground in one fell sweep, and a moment later she was beneath him, his body pressing hers against the mahogany top.
Reaching down, Hudson’s hand slipped under the edge of her skirt. His breath caught when his fingers found the garters clipped to the top of her silk stockings. “Goddamn, Allie,” he murmured against her lips. He tore his mouth from hers, leaving her panting with anticipation as his gaze traveled down her body. His fingers stroked the exposed skin at the top of her thigh.
“Since the day you walked into my office, I’ve wanted you here, spread out on my desk while I fucked you senseless over Chicago.”
“Ah God, yes.” She grasped his tie, pulling him back down. With a groan he took her mouth again, crushing his lips against hers in a ravenous kiss. She lifted into him, needing to relieve the ache she’d felt since the moment she’d laid eyes on him. With a roll of his hips he ground the thick ridge of his erection against her. She writhed beneath him, her legs tightening around his waist. Her skin was damp, her breasts heavy and full. This was the effect he had on her. In a matter of minutes he had her on the edge, desperate to come.
“Hudson, please . . . I want you.” She reached for his belt but his fingers curled around hers, halting her as she fumbled with the buckle.
“Stop.” His voice was hoarse and tight with a barely leashed restraint.
“What?” Allie lifted her head from the desk, watching in disbelief as Hudson pushed to his feet.
“No.” He tucked his shirttails back into his pants. “Not like this.”
Allie tried to form a coherent thought but words escaped her. She knew he wanted her, the evidence was right in front of her, straining against the zipper of his Tom Ford suit. Why the hell was he stopping?
Hudson held his hand out to her. When she took it he pulled her to her feet and into his arms. “I want you, Allie. But not here, not like this.”
“You’re not trying to pay me back for the last time we were in your office, are you?” she asked, teasing.
He smiled. “Hardly. Believe me, my cock is calling me an SOB right now.” He ran a hand back through his hair. “But I want to take my time with you. I don’t want to fuck you on my desk. I want to make love to you in my bed.” His smile was almost shy. “Well, for starters, anyway.”
Stretching on tiptoe, she pressed her lips to his jaw, leaving a trail of soft kisses as she worked her way to his ear. In a breathy voice she whispered, “Why don’t you fuck me on the desk, for starters, and we’ll make it to the bed . . . eventually.”
His breath hissed when her tongue traced the shell of his ear, but his resolve remained steadfast. “Allie, please, let me do this right.”
She reared back to look at him. A mixture of sincerity and lust burned bright in his eyes. “You’re serious about this?”
He nodded. “I’ve never been able to date you. There’s always been something that was standing in our way. Your parents when we were younger.” A muscle in his jaw tensed. “And then your engagement.”
Her gaze dropped. She’d been such a fool to hide her feelings for him, whether at seventeen or twenty-seven. The wasted time was something she would always regret, but most of all she hated the thought that she’d ever made him feel he was anything but loved.