This is something I’ve never experienced with Rebel. Not like this anyway. I have no idea if it’s something he even knows how to do. Tender isn’t a word I would ever use to describe him or how he is with me. Rebel makes me tremble, plays my body with expert precision, even as he pushes me to the brink of insanity.
He demands a lot from me, knowing I’ll give it without question or hesitation. Just as a coin has two sides, he can be cruel and he can be caring. He doesn’t treat me with kid gloves. He looks into my eyes and he sees what lies beneath the surface. He recognizes the person inside who craves what he can deliver. He gives everything to me and more, sometimes pushing boundaries I never thought I’d cross and at the end of it all, he still manages to provide what’s necessary to make me feel safe and cared for.
Rebel is ruthless. He knows what he wants and he takes it. He makes no apologies for his behavior. What you see is what you get. I both love and hate that about him.
Ransom is different. For all their similarities, he couldn’t be more opposite from his brother. He treats me like I am breakable, like I’m something to be cherished. Something to be savored. When he kisses me, it feels like a bolt to my heart.
They’ve both hurt me. They’ve both humiliated me. And they’ve both loved me in their own twisted way.
Both of these men feed something inside of me, but only one man can fulfill my needs. Only one of them has shown me that he is more than what we set out to be—anonymous lovers. That I’m more than a quick roll between the sheets, but someone worth fighting for.
It’s in this moment, as Ransom’s thrusting hips grow more frenzied and disjointed, that I realize I’ve found the answer I’ve been looking for.
I know exactly which brother is right for me. Turning my face up, I claim Ransom’s mouth with such ferocity and passion that it sends him spiraling into an orgasm so powerful his back arches. Tearing his mouth from mine, Ransom throws his head back and roars his release.
Collapsing on top of me, I pet his hair and sweat dampened skin until he relieves me of his weight and rolls onto his back. Pulling the blankets over us, I wait until his breaths even out before I slip quietly from the bed and out of his room.
ELEVEN
With finals only a week away, I do what so many others are doing and cut class. The weather is perfect, the clouds giving way to the sun, and I am in high spirits. That’s what happens when your mind is clear of distraction.
After leaving Ransom’s bed and Rebel’s apartment¸ I went home with a plan in mind because the thing is, I refuse to give up. I refuse to be tossed aside or replaced by a jealous stand-in without a fight. I just need to work out some details before I can set it in motion. I’ll get started on that right after I finish studying.
I’m reading about modern photography. Specifically, how the use of light and shadow create strong visual impact. Since my degree focuses on the technical aspects of visual arts, the core of my studies is steeped in it. Over the course of these last four years, I have taken sculpting, ceramics, and a ton of computer based classes. Yet, I feel no more or less prepared to enter the workforce than I was the day I graduated high school. But that won’t stop me from pursuing my dreams.
I am staring at the pages of black text resting on my lap pondering this when a shadow falls over me. Tilting my head back, I squint past the blinding rays of sunlight to see who it is. As the face comes into focus, I am instantly annoyed.
“Unless this has something to do with Annie, walk away.”
“It does.”
“Walk away anyway,” I snipe.
As expected, Jason ignores my wishes and folds himself on the ground beside me. Draping his long arms over his raised knees, he looks out over the quad at passing students. “Annie is coming to talk to you later.”
“About what?” I don’t bother hiding my irritation. If Jason’s willing to break our code of silence to tell me this, then it has to be bad.
“You know what.”
My head whips around, my eyes flaring with panic. “You told her?”
“Fuck no,” he sneers. “I’m not stupid, but she suspects.”
I already know she suspects, because she’s come to me once before. I dodged her then, but it looks like time is fast running out. I blame everything on Jason. He’s the one who caused this.
I glare at the side of his head. If aliens exist, I wish they’d come down and beam Jason up to their mother ship. He deserves some serious ass probing for the shit I’m now forced to deal with. “The only reason she suspects anything is because you’re so damn transparent, you fuckwit.”
“What about you, you juvenile slut?” His words are vicious, but they don’t affect me in the least. If anyone here is a slut, it’s him.
“Sticks and stones, Jason. Besides, I know how to keep my mouth shut.” Snapping my book closed, I toss it into the grass at my feet. “So what’s the story? What am I supposed to tell her so she stops sniffing around?”
Peering off into the distance, Jason grows quiet. I study his profile, unease slithering through my stomach because Jason is the kind of person who has an inborn need to fuck up everything for himself at regular intervals. In this instance, if he falls into old habits, he’ll be taking me down with him.
“I’m considering telling her.” The way he says this is so causal, like he’s just announced his decision to have Jell-O for dessert, and it makes me want to throat punch him.
“What for? So you can sleep better at night?” Asshole!
“We have a kid on the way. What the hell do you expect me to do?”
“What you’ve always done best: lie.”
“Isn’t that why we’re sitting here now?” He slants a look at me and I can see in his blue eyes that he’s already made up his mind. I want to rail at him. He’s about to make my world implode and he couldn’t care less.
“I can’t believe after all these years you’ve finally decided to grow a conscience,” I mutter in disbelief. Why now? What’s made him suddenly decide to grow a conscience? Combing my fingers through my long hair, I heave out a heavy breath. “I don’t suppose you plan on telling her all the sordid details of how you’ve spent your free time over the last four years?”
His silence answers for him. Figures. So the only reason he’s dropping this at my feet is because it’s an immediate problem needing immediate answers. Aren’t I a lucky girl?
“When is she supposed to come over?”
“I don’t know. Later.”
Some help he is. I can’t believe this is happening. “I don’t know what to even say to her.”
“Just tell her the truth. Annie is a reasonable girl, she’ll understand.”
“Yeah?” I ask, slanting him an incredulous look. “Is that why you told her about us hooking up four years ago, because she’s so damn understanding?”
He pulls a face at me. “I didn’t tell her for the same reason you didn’t. Hurting Annie was never part of the plan.”
“Maybe you should have thought about that before you whipped your dick out for half the campus to take a ride on.”
He sneers up at me, but fuck him. I’m not to blame here, and if I have to look at his face a second longer, I’ll puke. Disgusted, I stand up. Brushing off the back of my pants, I gather my belongings. As I walk away, I think back to the start of my freshman year. It was all so new, so intimidating. There was always a party happening somewhere, and anyone worth anything went. When a girl in one of my classes invited me to tag along with some of her friends, I couldn’t risk saying no. The desire to fit in was front and center in my mind.
Predictably, I drank too much, got wasted, and fell for the first hot guy to throw me a line. Unfortunately, that guy just so happened to be Jason. I didn’t know him from Adam back then, but he was cute and confident and he pulled me in with his easy charm—the things that have always been a weakness for me.