“This is the researcher, right?” Evan went on, ignoring Fox. He let out a loud guffaw. “I can imagine what research you’re doing with my stud cousin here.”

Fox turned pale. He took hold of Evan by the collar and hauled him through the entrance and into the street. Cindy stood rooted to the spot as the other patrons returned to their places, some of them glancing at her curiously. She was still motionless when Fox returned. He passed her and left money on their table, saying to her on his return trip,“We’re leaving.”

The owner stopped them on the way out to thank Fox for evicting Evan.

“Why didn’t you tell me he would be like that?” Fox asked him angrily. “I would never have brought the lady if I had known.”

“I didn’t know either, Drew,” the owner replied. “I just wanted you to talk to him. I thought he would be all right until closing time. But he’s just been getting worse; you saw for yourself.”

Fox nodded curtly, taking hold of Cindy’s arm and guiding her outside. Once on the street he put his hands on his hips and took a deep breath, looking at her directly.

“What happened to your cousin?” Cindy asked gently.

“I got one of the other waiters to take him home,” Fox replied. “I came here to try to save his job. The manager complained about him getting loaded at the end of the evening, before locking up the place. I thought I would be early enough to catch him sober, but I was wrong.” He tensed visibly. “There’s no excuse for what he said to you. I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes, it was. I should never have taken you with me. I just didn’t want to...”

“What?”

“Leave you,” he said simply, and Cindy’s fingers closed around his arm.

“Is that Walter’s brother?” she asked quietly, treading gently on sensitive ground.

“Yeah. He’s a cliche, a drunken Indian.” He snorted bitterly. “You’re always asking me about my family. You saw a great part of it tonight, right?”

“Oh, Drew,” she said, her heart going out to him. “I don’t care about that.”

“But I do,” he said shortly.

“Drew, we’d better get back to your place,” Cindy said quickly, seeking to divert him. “It’s almost six, and the delivery is scheduled for six-fifteen—the last one of the day, remember?”

He nodded absently, going with her back to his car, but his mind was obviously still on what had happened inside. They beat the delivery van by only a few minutes, but when the things arrived he hardly looked at them, signing the receipt automatically and walking away. When the door closed behind the crew from the store he went to the balcony off the living room, opening the sliding doors and inhaling the evening breeze. Cindy watched him standing there, with her and yet alone, and she longed to make him feel better, to comfort him with her closeness. She knew that she loved him; what was she waiting for? She had waited long enough. He would be the first, and that was exactly as it should be. Emboldened by her decision, she walked over to him and stood behind him, touching his shoulder.

“Drew?” she said softly.

“Hmm?” He was looking into the distance over the water, barely listening.

She put her arms around his waist and kissed the back of his neck, moving her lips slowly and sensuously over the sensitive skin. She felt him shudder violently, and then he shrugged her off, so forcefully that she fell against the door.

“What are you doing?” he said hoarsely, whirling to face her. Then he saw that she had fallen and rushed to help her, instantly contrite.

“Are you all right?” he asked, helping her up. “I didn’t mean it, Cindy. You’re such a flyweight that you just took off like a shot.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” she demanded, slapping his hands away, almost crying. “Why are you treating me like this? At the beginning you wanted me so badly. Now when I so much as touch you, you throw me off as if I were repulsive to you. Don’t you want me anymore?”

He closed his eyes. “I want you,” he replied quietly. “Now more than ever. If you only knew how much.”

“Then what is it? What has changed? You wanted to take me to bed on our first date.”

“That was before I realized that you were...” He stopped, but not soon enough.

“A virgin,” she finished for him. “That’s it, isn’t it, Drew? You don’t want to make love to me now because you know you’d be the first.”

His silence was her answer.

“How did you know?” she asked quietly.

“I knew at the lake,” he replied. “I sensed you weren’t afraid of me, but of the experience. And a girl like you gives herself, not sex.”

“I want to give myself to you.”

“Don’t say that,” he said, clenching his fists. “This is all wrong, we are all wrong, can’t you see that? Wasn’t your encounter with Evan tonight enough to convince you of that? He’s my blood, Cindy, my family. That’s what my life is like. You’re too fine to be mixed up with somebody like me. Go back to Pennsylvania and marry some professor who’ll read books and wear cardigans and understand those papers that you write.”

“I don’t want a professor. I want you. Now. Tonight.”

He shook his head. “I can’t take that responsibility.”

“What responsibility?”

He met her eyes. “It would mean too much to you,” he said quietly.

“And nothing to you?” she asked, her voice barely audible.

“I didn’t say that!” he flashed angrily. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“Then spit it out, Fox,” she replied. “Tell me what you mean.”

“I mean that we’ve come to the end of the road,” he stated flatly. “I can’t give you what you want. That’s it.”

“No, it’s not. If you won’t say it, I’ll do it for you. You see in our relationship a similarity to that of your parents, which ended so badly. I know I’m nothing like your mother; Eli told me that. But I’m shankree, an outsider, an ‘other’. That’s what it means, right?”

“We’re too incompatible for something lasting, Cindy. Even you must see that.”

“I don’t see it, but even if I did, couldn’t we go back as we were?” she asked, like a child crying for the return of childish dreams. “I was so happy being with you, and I know you were happy too.”

He looked down and sighed. “How long do you think that would last? I want you too much to keep my distance; it’s taken all my willpower to stay away this long. We’d soon be faced with the same problem.” He met her gaze and smiled sadly. “Give it up, princess. Someday your prince will come but he won’t be me.”

Cindy blinked back the hot tears that threatened to spill onto her cheeks. “Then there’s nothing more to say,” she stated quietly. “I think I’d like to go home now.”

He followed her to the door, and there was no conversation during the trip to his car. He drove to Paula’s house in silence, while Cindy struggled to regain her composure. She wanted to break down and bawl like a four-year-old, but she wouldn’t, she would not, do it in front of him.

When he got out to walk her upstairs she stopped him.

“That won’t be necessary,” she said crisply. “I’m capable of getting to the door on my own.”

“You’re not going to do that as long as you’re with me,” he answered readily, taking her arm. “Creeps lurk in these hallways, don’t you know that? I’ll see you to the door and that’s final.”

She had only been seeking to shorten the agony, but went along without protest, her strength waning. When he bent to kiss her good night outside the apartment, she turned her head, unable to bear it.

“One kiss,” he said huskily. “Don’t be mean, princess. I know I don’t deserve generosity, but give me something to remember.”

When she closed her eyes to accept his mouth, a tear slipped from her lashes and onto her face. He kissed it first, and then her lips, so tenderly that it was like the first time.

“Don’t cry,” he whispered. “I’m not worth it. Someday you’ll realize that this was all for the best. Goodbye, my princess.”