“Ah,” Jude winked knowingly. “But does one ever truly get his soul back? And think how many dark deeds will weigh on his conscience between now and then. Better to give him up now and just be grateful for the chance he’s given you to live, than hold out hope for a man he will never become.”

“You don’t know him.” I pointed out full of righteous anger.

“And now? Neither do you.” He smirked at me one more time and then turned around and walked away just as the bell rang and the hall flooded with students.

I walked over and picked up his discarded cigarette and walked it over to the trash can. I hated everything about Jude. I hated his presence, his carelessness, his symbolism in my life. But most of all I hated that he somehow replaced Seth.

And Seth.

I couldn’t even wrap my head around what he had done for me. He must have been desperate to save me. He must have realized how bad things were or had insight into how bad they were going to get.

He gave up his soul for me.

I ran to the bathroom before it was too late and threw a random stall door open so I could empty my lunch into the toilet. I’d never thrown up before, but I couldn’t stop the overwhelming nausea from taking hold and burning a path of fear and self-loathing down my throat.

How could he?

The tears came next. I sunk to the floor and pulled my knees to my chest and cried as quietly as I could. I knew I would make a scene if anyone came in here, but I couldn’t stop. My heart didn’t just break for Seth, it exploded. And I didn’t know why he did this, why he did this for me. We could have fought this together. We could have stayed together. He didn’t have to leave me.

And now I was more lost than ever.

I just wanted him to come back to me.

I just wanted him to be with me.

“Higher,” Jupiter ordered.

I lifted my elbows higher.

“Looser,” he demanded.

I relaxed my wrists.

“Focus, damn it, Stella!”

“I’m sorry,” I threw my katana to the side and yelled at him. “I’m sorry!” This time it was a little more hysterical and the tears I’d been fighting since a few days ago when I’d lost it in the bathroom at school were instantly back and hot against my eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop,” Jupiter continued to boss me around. “Stop it. It’s as much my fault as it is yours.” His voice broke just a little with that admission. I continued to stare at my tennis shoes, knowing the moment I looked up at him I would crumble into a useless, weeping heap.

“Probably a better idea if we just blame him for all this, right?” Saying that made me feel a little bit better; I bent over and picked up the sword that just seconds ago I had hated more than anything.

“Now that is a good idea,” Jupiter smiled at me. “Again?”

“Again?”

His sword was there to meet mine as my katana sliced through the air with deadly force. He pulled his arm back in a surprising move and my arm continued with my momentum setting me off balance. He swung up and over me as if he would come down from on top and get my neck that way, but I allowed the forward pull to carry me and pushed my body all the way around, spinning on one foot. Our swords connected again and we were back to clanging metal and fancy footwork.

After Jude’s hallway revelations today, I left school with the pretense of a relapse of the plague and came home to fill my parents and Jupiter in. They were as shattered as I was.

But one good thing had come through all of this- I was motivated to train my ass off until I was the best, until there was nobody better than me.

And I wasn’t going to sit idly by and wait for my eighteenth birthday, growing soft under the double-edged protection clause. Hell, no. I was going to fight. I was going to engage as often and as violently as I could until every Fallen across the universe cowered at the sound of my name.

They wouldn’t be able to touch me while I collected their heads.

Ok, that was a little gruesome.

With my new manifesto tattooed on my soul, the one I intended to keep eternally, I fought with a strength and focus I had never known before. My wrists were fluid, loose extensions of arms that were strong and capable of killing. My feet were fast, my legs were steady, my core was taut with the right kind of tension and my eyes took everything in with lightning quickness.

I was becoming the Star I was born to be.

Jupiter met my blows with shocking agility. He was something like nine-hundred years old, but as spry as any Warrior my age. He was fast and skilled with his broadsword, which was why he was currently kicking my ass. His sword was freaking heavy! And every time he landed a blow on top, I would struggle to hold his weight up with my thinner, longer shaped katanas.

I flipped through the air, tucking my head and kicking my feet around gracefully. I landed on my feet but had already spun around to meet his thrust. Our swords clashed and slid apart. I moved quickly to the left and ducked as he swung wide and low. I lunged out and cut towards his legs which he avoided by jumping up and back. In the blink of an eye, he had somersaulted forward through the air again and rendered a blow so forceful that my blade actually shattered.

Without missing a beat, I spun on the inside of his arm, plucked the dagger from my thigh and held both the broken blade and my deadly little one to opposite sides of his throat.

“I have you here,” Jupiter pointed out. He tapped me on the back of the neck.

I smirked confidently, “Ah, but you can’t slice my head off without catching your own. But I am perfectly capable of taking your head with the help of my special friends here.” I emphasized my point by scratching his neck on either side with the tips of my blades.

“Very well done, Starling,” Jupiter smiled at me.

Slow clapping sounded behind us; I spun out to face our spectator. Although by the lazy pull and release of his hands, I had an idea of who it would be.

And just as I suspected, Jude stood, leaning against a tree, watching us with bored disinterest. He was wearing that half, amused grin that seemed to constantly fix his face and his jeans were slung even lower than earlier.

Seriously, get the boy a hamburger, his pants need help.  

“That was…. impressive.” But he said it in a way that made it seem like it was the exact opposite of impressive.

Jude pushed off the tree with his shoulder and walked slowly forward. There was a cigarette dangling from his lips and his hands were shoved in his pockets. He looked…. dangerous.

And I hated that.

I wanted him to look like nothing.

I just wanted him to disappear and stop reminding me of everything I lost.

“What are you doing here?” I sighed.

He grinned at me. Again. It was like he forgot he was Fallen. He seemed way too happy to be filled with malice and Satan. Possibly he was addicted to energy drinks.

“I came to check on you.” He stopped just before us and quirked a brow at Jupiter. “You are not from this planet, old man.”

“Why are you here, Jude?” I bit out, feeling frustrated and overprotective of Jupiter.

“I already told you.” He hadn’t taken his eyes off Jupiter yet, and it was getting awkward.

“Alright, then why did you come to check on me?”

“Stella, we’ve been over this how many times? I had to make sure nothing happened to you. That you weren’t kidnapped on the way home from school today, or didn’t break a nail in the aftermath of your chores, or decide to off yourself when the bleak reality of your situation set in. That was probably the one I was most concerned about.” His eyes flickered over to me from Jupiter but then went right back to Jupiter’s red eyes. “Let me guess…. Mars?”

“Not even close,” Jupiter grunted.