Okay, she didn’t sleep with him, but she saw him, yesterday, and she hasn’t once attempted to tell me about it.

“Did you tell him about me? Did you tell him about Emily?”

Her eyes narrow in anger, and I know she’s about to lay into me. “Damian! He was there. I was upset and he took me to the Brewing Company. We had a few beers, put a few bad feelings behind us, and then I came home and confronted you. I was confused and angry and I needed a break before I came home . . . a distraction. But I would never cheat on you and if you think that of me, maybe we need to rethink us.”

Her lips are trembling, either from the wind that’s picked up or an emotion that’s running through her. Those wild eyes are beginning to get glassy and I suddenly feel bad that I apparently don’t trust her, or maybe it’s Matt that I don’t trust, but she clearly knows it too. It sounds as if she spent an afternoon with her ex who she should hate and yet, she didn’t tell me. She should have told me.

Reaching for her, I pull her up close to my body. “So we’re clear, Addison. I don’t ever want you talking to Matt Bryson again. I don’t want you seeing him, I don’t want you laughing at anything he says. I don’t want him near you.” I kiss her, my tongue slipping inside her mouth. Her trembling lips begin to stabilize and her body starts to tremble instead. “Can you do that for me Addison? Can you stay away from him?”

“Damian, I . . . I’m sorry. I would have told you. I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret. I’m sor—” I kiss her again, not wanting to hear the rest of what she was going to say.

“Promise me Addison that you won’t let him near you.” My lips are brushing against hers with each word I speak, our breaths mingling together.

She doesn’t answer, and I’m wondering what part of her still loves him, whether it’s her heart, her soul or just her mind playing tricks on her because there’s no reason she wouldn’t immediately tell me she never wants to see the asshole again.

I search her remorseful eyes for the answer I’m looking for but she’s giving me nothing.

“You still love him don’t you?” She blinks twice, tears filling her eyes, and I’m ruined, my heart completely stilling inside my body. “I gotta get out of here.” Turning away from her, I head to my front door.

“I don’t love him,” she finally says. “But talking to him gives me a sense of closure that I need.”

My hand is on my doorknob, my breaths coming deep and heavy. Not knowing exactly what that means, I don’t have an answer for her. I hear her tentatively walk up behind me, and she places a hand on my shoulder.

It’s impossible not to react to her touch. My heart picks up speed, and my muscles tense. I want to turn around and pin her to this wall, strip all her clothes off, and run my tongue between her legs until she promises me she’ll never let him call her again.

“Damian, my mom abandoned me with no explanation. Matt did the same thing. Do you have any idea what that does to a person?”

Do I? I hated my dad and his fucked up way of living. But he never took off on me. No matter what he did, I knew he loved me. That was something I never questioned. And it hits me; I don’t want Addison to question it either.

I turn around and face her, taking her hand in mine. “Addison, I have no idea what that must have felt like. None at all. But I do know, I’m so in love with you it consumes me. I wake up every day wondering if you love me back, wondering if that past asshole of yours shows up again if you’d go with him. I wonder if your friends like me, I wonder if you’d just move all your shit into my place so I can see you everywhere, not just on your balcony. Last night . . . I’m so sorry about last night. I wish I could tell you everything and one day, I will. But I’m not keeping it from you because I don’t love you or don’t trust you. I feel like I owe it to Megan and in some respects Emily too. Maybe one day I won’t feel that way anymore, but I love you and I’m not going anywhere. I will never leave you wondering what the hell happened to me. I promise, I will never do that to you.”

Yeah, I’m a total stud in and out of the bedroom. I have a face that women love and a body they love even more. I have a shit load of money Addison doesn’t even know the half of it and I can take care of her the rest of her life. But I’m human, and I also have a crap load of insecurities. I just laid them all out on the table. She can either step on them all, rip them in two and crush me, or she can love me back. It’s her call.

She smiles, and my entire universe brightens as she stands on her tiptoes and kisses me. Soft at first and then hard and passionate. “I’m tired of fighting with you, Damian. Let’s go make up.” She doesn’t tell me she loves me back but the way she’s kissing me, the way her fists are clenched in my shirt holding me close to her body—she doesn’t have to say a word. I know exactly how her heart feels.

Damian thinks he loves me, and maybe he does, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t say the words back. It was exactly one week ago today that he professed that love. Now, it’s like a damn broke and he hasn’t been able to stop saying those three words. A part of me wants to tell him I love him too, but it feels like I’m only loving a part of him. Until he trusts me enough to share his entire past with me, until he lets me in, I can’t give him my whole heart, it’s too much of a risk I’m not willing to take.

We’re leaving for Malibu in a few hours. Maybe spending a week away from our daily lives, will give me the clarity I need.

Not having a job to go to everyday, I’ve been able to visit Emily whenever Damian goes, coming up with ways he can work around Thomas, but it’s been hard not having all the information. I’ve kept my promise and not asked any more questions about Emily’s mom, but it hasn’t been an easy promise to keep.

“I love this part of your body.” His fingers are trailing along the curve of my waist and the swell of my hip, every so often dipping down to slide along the cheek of my butt.

“When do you want to leave?” I ask.

My leg hangs over his hip and my hands roam through his hair, gently scratching at his scalp. He shivers in my arms and holds on tighter.

A wicked grin spreads across his face and my insides heat.

Damn, how does he do that to me?

“Not for at least an hour.” His lips connect with mine and he flips me on my back, his tip running along my entrance.

Moaning, I close my eyes and relish in our skin on skin contact. “We are never going to get out of here.”

Trailing kisses up and down my neck, he says, “We will. Eventually.”

His phone rings as I’m about to bring him into my body. He jumps up faster than I’ve ever seen, his face pulled in concern.

My body jolts in shock at the loss of heat but the look on his face has me on high alert.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s the hospital.” He holds up his finger and takes the call.

“Shit, please tell me she’s okay.” his voice cracks and my mind goes to the worst-case scenario. Emily was going to the medical placement home today, the foster parents who watch her when she’s not receiving treatments and has no reason to stay in the hospital.

“But she’s stable?”

I release the sheets I have balled in my fists at the word stable.

“Can I come see her?”

“I’ll be there in ten.”

He hangs up and gives me a guilty look.

“Don’t look at me like that. Go. She needs you.”

Conflicted, he begins to dress. “You’re okay if we don’t leave until later today?”

“Of course! Get out of here.”

“It’s only . . . she’s sick, she never made it out of the hospital today and she’s asking for me.”