Either way, I lose.

She looks panicked, her eyes wide in fear and her bottom lip slightly trembling. This guy makes her feel things I know she’d rather forget, and I have no idea why she let him in her apartment to begin with. I can end this. But her pleading look, tears at my heart. If I do more damage to this fucker, she’ll never forgive me and I’ll lose her.

If I let him go, with nothing more than a broken nose, he’ll come back and it will never be over. But losing her is worse than losing this fight.

I drop him and watch as he crumbles to the floor, his hand covering his broken nose. “Stand up and walk the fuck out of here. She doesn’t belong to you anymore.”

“Really?” It’s the first time he’s said a word and due to the state of his nose, it comes out garbled. Blood gushing down and into his mouth with each breath he takes. “Then why is it my ring she has on her finger?”

Breathing feels hard. Impossible really. In the five minutes I’ve been in the same room as this dick, he hasn’t laid a finger on me, has spoken barely ten words, but it feels like he just slammed me against a wall, knocking the wind right out of my chest. I look down at her hand and bright as day, she’s wearing a diamond the size of fucking Texas. I have no idea how I missed it earlier, but my heart feels ripped out of my chest, as if it’s being eaten for someone’s lunch.

Everything I saw when I walked through that front door plays back in my mind. Addison in his arms, the tears, his refusal to leave and now the ring. The reality of the situation comes crashing down around me. Would she really say yes? The fact that I need to ask myself that question speaks volumes.

Frantically trying to pull it over her knuckle, the tears flow stronger down her cheeks. “No. Damian no. He’s lying.” She’s struggling, can’t get the damn thing off and I have to wonder how hard she had to work to get it on in the first place.

“How so? Because I’d remember if I was the one who gave you that ring.”

“Here, take another tissue.”

I grab the white piece of flimsy paper out of Mia’s hand and blow my nose, making an unflattering noise that would scare a duck, not attempting to wipe at my eyes. What would be the point? The diamond, or the devil, at this point they represent the same thing, sits on the table in front of us. How could such a large beautiful gem be so destructive?

“Why did you let him get close enough to put this on your finger?” Paige has picked up the symbol of sin and is inspecting every inch of it. I want to tell her to take it, she can have it, but with the way my life stands now, I’m going to need to sell that evil beautiful stone, in order to live for the next few months.

“It all happened so fast.” I still can’t wrap my head around the way tonight played out. One minute I was looking at the ring, the next Damian was bursting through my front door and suddenly Matt slipped it on my finger. It all happened too fast for me to react.

Mia has taken my white rug, and thrown it in the dumpster so I don’t have to look at one more reminder of the events that took place over three hours ago. She hasn’t stopped rubbing my back and the knowledge that once again my friends have had to come to my rescue doesn’t escape me. This all feels too familiar and I don’t think I can handle it.

“Well, score one for Matt, he has really good taste.”

The ring is stunning. A round Tiffany setting with at least a three carat diamond resting between six prongs. He must have forgotten how small I am. On my tiny fingers this ring looks twice its actual size.

“And Damian just left?” Mia pushes her glasses further up her nose, her face scrunched up in disapproval.

I nod, my eyes tearing up again. “His feet were pounding down the stairs. He left me.”

“Let’s not be so overdramatic, Addison. He left the situation, big difference.”

Not the way I see it. Leaving me alone with Matt, a diamond ring on my finger and having no idea what or who I was fending off was the equivalent of saying goodbye. There’s no denying I played a huge role in what happened tonight. I let Matt in—but I can’t help the resentment, the anger I feel that Damian abandoned me when I really needed him. Saying no to Matt was the easy part, physically making him leave, getting him to believe I no longer loved him was near to impossible.

“Part of me wishes I had let him beat the shit out of Matt, then at least he’d still be here with me. The wondering as to where he went or when he’ll be back is killing me.”

“He’s probably with Reed,” Paige says.

I’m sure she’s right. But it still stings. We were supposed to spend this week together in Malibu, and now I have no idea when I’m going to see him again.

“Addison, this will blow over.” Mia hands me another tissue. “I promise. Once you get a chance to explain things to Damian, he’ll understand, he’ll get it.”

“Of course he will. It may take a few weeks, but he’ll come around.”

I appreciate their positive words, but I have serious doubts.

My eyes are swollen, and I have a raging headache. I love that my friends dropped everything to be with me tonight, but if I haven’t learned anything over the past five years, it’s that I need to work this out on my own, be strong and pick myself back up.

“Thanks for coming over guys, but I think I’m going to go to bed.”

“You’re kicking us out?” Mia asks affronted.

“No, you’re welcome to stay, but I need to go lie down alone with my tormented thoughts.”

They both give me worried smiles. “Guys, I’m sad, devastated really, but I’m not the same person I was when Matt left. I can’t let myself go back to being that person.”

Looking at each other, for affirmation that it’s okay to leave I make it even easier for them. “Fine, I am kicking your ass’s out. So, don’t feel guilty. I’m not going to run off and do something stupid.”

“Why the hell not? That’s exactly what you should do, something crazy and stupid and bring me with you!”

“Maybe next week, but tonight, I need to lie down and feel this pain. Feel how shitty today was, so that tomorrow . . . tomorrow I can wake up and remember, it’s a new day and I have a lot of life to look forward to.”

“First, Addison, that was way too sappy and you need to knock that shit off, second, by next week, this will all be fixed.”

As they’re walking towards my door Paige turns, “You know Addy, three years ago you would have taken that ring and moved to New York, no questions asked. I’m proud of you for kicking his ass to the curb, even after Damian took off.”

The minute the door closes, I wish I’d asked them to stay. My apartment is too big, too quiet and holds too many memories. That damn red pillow sits smack in the middle of my sofa, a heart-breaking reminder that I don’t know if I’ll ever get him back. How is it possible that in the span of five years I’ve lost two great loves? If it’s true that a person only experiences one great love in a lifetime, then I’m royally screwed.

Fuck, I’m heartbroken—again.

Taking off all my clothes, I crawl onto my bed and let the cool crisp feeling of the clean sheets blanket my skin.

How did I let Matt put that ring on my finger? I will forever walk around wondering how I let him trap me.

My phone rings, and I run into my living room hoping it’s Damian. Maybe he finally wants to talk. I’ve sent him so many texts over the past few hours and he hasn’t returned even one. I grab my phone only to realize it’s Matt’s new number. Instantly my heart deflates. Hitting decline, and blocking his number my frustration boils over.

What is wrong with the male race? Are they so testosterone driven they can’t see further than their dicks? Why the fuck would Matt think I’d answered his call? I’ve been so clear, laid it out plain and simple in black and white. He doesn’t do it for me anymore.