Sheepishly, I said, “Yup, big balls, small dick,” just to confirm my point.

Silently, Diego walked toward both Jett and me and looked Jett up and down before squatting in front of him. He moved his head closer to Jett’s crotch and Jett swatted him away.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jett asked, offended.

“Looking for the giant moose knuckle, this I have to see.”

“Get the fuck out of here,” Jett laughed, while grabbing ahold of my arm. “Looks like someone needs to learn a lesson.”

“Oh, no, not another game of find the needle in the haystack,” I rolled my eyes, making both Blane and Diego throw their heads back and laugh.

“Damn, Jett, do you need to talk to us?” Blane asked. “We can maybe hook you up with an enlarger or something.”

“Well, now the hammering makes sense,” Diego said in between laughter. “The man is just trying to get his damn dick to penetrate the poor girl.”

A very un-lady like snort came out of me, just as Jett grabbed the waistline of his briefs.

“You really want to joke?” Jett asked me, as his hands started to pull his briefs down.

“No!” I shouted as I grabbed ahold of his hands and stopped him. A giggle escaped me as I said, “Please, don’t embarrass yourself. Not in front of these guys, it will be too humiliating for you. I can’t let you do that.”

Looking me dead in the eyes, Jett said in a firm voice so only I could hear him, “You are in so much fucking trouble, Little One.”

Gulping, I looked at how serious he was, and damn if I didn’t instantly turn wet. His kind of trouble was my kind of pleasure.

“Uh oh, looks like someone is going to get a spanking,” Diego teased. “How did it go last night?” Diego turned to Blane for help, who stood up and rubbed his head.

Blane bent over and started smacking his ass while saying, “I think something like ‘oh, yeah Jett, oh, yeah, big boy, give it to me harder.” Then he squealed liked a little girl.

Diego clapped his hands together and fist bumped Blane. “Nailed it, man.”

Jett ticked and shook his head no at the same time. “You couldn’t be further from the truth.”

“Thank you,” I said, while scooting closer to Jett, offended by Blane’s horrible impression of me.

Jett patted my shoulder and said, “She doesn’t squeal; she does more of a snort-type thing, like a pig drowning in water.” To my horror, I watched as Jett bent over and started snorting like a pig, while adding a bit of a gargle in his throat, causing both Blane and Diego to practically fall over from laughter.

I watched as all three men tried to impersonate the pig gargle orgasm sound in the kitchen, making each other laugh hysterically. With my hands on my hips, I stomped my bare foot on the ground like a child.

“You’re all just hideous men,” I called out before making my way back to my room, completely unable to take a joke.

I slammed my door shut, sat on my bed, and folded my arms over my chest, just waiting for the pig snorter himself to walk in. I could have counted down the seconds until he opened the door.

It was right on cue when he opened my door and shut it without taking his eyes off of me. He stood there, silently, just taking me all in, owning the fucking room with one breath, with one tick of his jaw.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked, feeling myself wilt under his stare.

“Like what?” he asked, as he approached me with the kind of swagger that would make your clit pop right off.

“You know,” I shifted on the bed, as I readied for his pounce; it was inevitable, especially with the way he was approaching me. “Like you want to eat me.”

“Is that a problem?” he asked, as he stood right in front of me, making me shrink in place.

“Yes,” I squeaked out. “Wouldn’t want to pig snort again.”

Smiling, Jett said, “Well that won’t be a problem, given the fact that I have such a small dick that you need a pair of tweezers to pick it up.”

“Yeah, about that…”

“Yeah, about that,” Jett copied me as he leaned forward and pushed me back on the bed. His muscles flexed as he held himself right above me. “Funny that you’re so quickly able to lie about my misfortunes.”

“Someone has to pop that ego of yours,” I gulped, as his hand found the knot of my robe and started to undo it.

“Ego?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. “Is that what you think it is, an ego?”

“What else could it be?” I asked, just as my robe was parted, exposing my breasts to the cold morning air, puckering my nipples in such a fantastic way.

“Confidence,” Jett responded. His finger trailed the outline of my nipple as he said, “Confidence in a man can often be mistaken for an ego, but do you know what the difference is, Little One?”

As he pinched my nipple, my chest lifted off the bed and I shook my head no.

His fingers continued to do torturous loops around my nipples as he spoke, “The difference between having confidence and an ego is that a man with an ego can be very self-involved, but a man with confidence doesn’t need to puff his chest to prove his self-worth; he is bold, he is sure, and he knows how to fucking please a woman.”

His last words ricocheted through my mind, as his mouth fell down onto my breast, while his other hand quickly made work of my free nipple. The feel of the rough five o’clock shadow that grazed his jaw and his tongue lapping around my taught nipple was a new feeling of euphoria I felt like I hadn’t experienced yet.

Unlike every other time in the bedroom, my hands were free of his constraints, so I took advantage of it by running my hands down his strong and solidly muscular back to the waistband of his briefs. With a quick intake of air as he bit down on my nipple, my fingers grasped his briefs and pulled them down, so I could grab a handful of his tight ass.

Like a fucking lunatic, I felt my hands go crazy with pleasure as I gripped his ass as firmly. I wasn’t much of an ass person, but I had to admit, I was going to grow quite fond of the two hammy hams between my fingers.

“Hammy hams?” Jett asked, as his mouth lifted off my nipple and he looked up at me with a fucking adorable smirk.

“What?” I asked, delirious from what he was doing to me.

“You were mumbling hammy hams.”

Thank God I was a complete embarrassment to myself, because what else would help keep me grounded? Jesus.

“Yeah, um, you have nice hammy hams. It’s the first time I’ve really been able to explore your ass, so I kind of went a little crazy with it.”

“Clearly,” he chuckled. “Just don’t go digging around in there.”

“God, no!” I practically shouted.

“What? Is my ass that nasty to you?” he asked, feigning insult.

“What? No, your ass is nice,” I backtracked. “I just…I mean, I don’t do the finger in the hole thing. I mean, that’s your job…wait! No, I mean, finger in the hole, yes, but not in the stink, just in the pink. You know, the vagina…” I let out a long breath, as Jett just let me ramble on, so I said, “You know, this ass talk is far above you, where are your manners?”

“Someone told me I needed to loosen up a bit, so I’m trying that new approach. I’ve found it to be quite rewarding,” he smirked.

“Why? Because you get to hear me ramble on like a moron who doesn’t know how to stop?”

“Exactly.”

“Hmm, well, I’m glad you’re getting pleasure out of this.”

“I am,” he smiled once again and then perused my body. “Now, Little One, it seems like you need to be punished for your lying in the kitchen. Since you were not so kind to the size of my cock, I thought I would really show you how misinformed you were.”

“How would you do that?” I asked, watching him pull himself away from me and pull his briefs off. He toed them to the side, giving me a great view of his very impressive erection.

So, when I was in the kitchen, discussing Jett’s little macaroni, what I really meant was the man was sporting a cannoli fit for the Jolly Green Giant…if the Jolly Green Giant was gay and could open his mouth wide enough to fit a grapefruit in it.