His beautiful, perfect face.

“Carter,” Kat squeaked, dazed, unsteady on her feet, and still believing she was dreaming. “Where the— What are …”

Her eyes traveled down his body in disbelief. His clothes were saturated, clinging to his strong form, and the knuckles of his hands were white from the cold. His lips were tinged a dark blue and, as she stared at him with now-wide-awake eyes, she realized he was shivering.

“Jesus, you’re freezing,” she exclaimed, coming to her senses. “Come in and—”

“No,” he rasped, shaking his head and licking the water that subsequently fell to his lips. “I can’t.”

Kat’s heart stuttered. “Why?”

He kept his eyes to the floor. He shook from head to toe and made a pained noise that came from deep within him.

“Carter, you’re going to get sick,” Kat coaxed. “Please.”

“No!” he said loudly, too loudly for a sleeping hotel. “I need …” His chin dropped. “I have to say something first.”

Kat’s knees started to buckle. This was it: what she’d dreaded the most. He was leaving for good. Her heart skipped several beats and her insides clenched in preparation for the devastating impact of his words.

She cleared her throat and exhaled. “Please let me say something first.”

She took his silence as acceptance, even though his eyes remained glued to the sumptuous royal-blue carpet below their feet. Closing her eyes and praying she was able, she began to think of all the things she wanted to say to him.

“I’m so sorry, Carter,” she started. “I’m so sorry for everything. I shouldn’t have brought you here. It was selfish of me. My mother was— Everything she said was bullshit, Carter, I promise you. She’s the only one who believes it. I hate her for what she said. I hate her for making you doubt everything I’ve ever said to you. And I don’t blame you. I don’t blame you for walking away because I would have done the same, and I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from the things you were so scared of. God, I’m just so sorry.”

Kat dropped her forehead against the door, terrified it was going to be the last time she ever spoke to him. But she’d said all she could.

“I’m sorry, too,” he uttered, making Kat lift her head. He was still looking at his feet.

“You have nothing to—”

“Let me fucking finish,” he snapped, squeezing his eyes shut. “I need to say this without you interrupting or arguing with me, okay?”

“Okay,” Kat agreed quickly.

“I have plenty to be sorry for,” he ground out through his teeth, pressing his clenched fist against the wall. “I’m—it’s—you’re, you’re … you’re everything to me, and I’m sorry I was such an idiot to have believed I was ever good enough for you.”

Kat pressed her lips together and cupped a hand to her mouth to stop the words of protest.

“I’m sorry I’m weak. I can’t—I—you wreck me, Kat. Things you say to me. The way you … love me. They do things to me, your words; they make me feel things no one else has ever made me feel. I’m sorry I’ve done shitty things, and I was a fuckup—am a fuckup. I can’t ever take my mistakes back. I hate that fact, but I can’t. They’re what they are and I’m who I am because of them.”

His body collapsed farther against the door frame. Kat stayed rooted to the spot, desperate to touch him, comfort him.

“I’m sorry I left,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have, I know I promised, but it was … so fucking hard.” He pressed his forehead against the wall. “I was terrified that— Christ, I knew I should have just stayed in the room and not listened, but I wanted to know what she— I grabbed my bag and left,” he admitted. “Snuck out of the house like the fucking coward I am. I didn’t know what else to do. The walls were closing in.”

“Carter.”

“I felt sick when I heard her say those things,” he continued. “Sick because I knew she was right. And I know you don’t agree, but she’s your mother, Kat, and she cares about you. She doesn’t want you with someone like me, and I get that, I really do. Shit, it kills me, but … I get it.” He shrugged one shoulder. “I figured it was better for everyone if I left.” His long lashes pressed against his cheekbones. “I shouldn’t fucking be here.”

He stood, motionless, silent.

All Kat heard was the pounding of her heart. Her skin was clammy and the knot of helpless terror in her gut tightened incessantly. “Then … why are you here?”

The corner of Carter’s mouth twitched. “Walking out of that door, Kat, was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” He pressed a hand over his heart. “When I left there was this pain, like a, I don’t know … It was— It took my breath away. And the farther I walked away from you, the more painful it became. I … I thought I was dying.”

She knew exactly what he meant. There’d been nothing but pain for her since the moment she’d realized he’d gone.

“I walked and walked,” Carter continued. “I was so mad with myself. I knew I had to keep going, and I tried. You have to believe me. I tried so damned hard. But, my heart. Jesus, it was— It was fucking breaking.”

He stood up as straight as his exhausted body would allow, and looked at Kat for the first time.

Their eyes met. His were aged, defeated.

“I hate that I’ve caused so much trouble,” he said miserably. “You’ve had to defend yourself against people who should be happy for you. I have issues, I’m an angry fucker, and I have a terrible temper. I still have shit I need to tell you about myself, and I have no idea where to start because I’m scared shitless you’ll run from me, and I know that makes me a selfish bastard for expecting you not to when I know that’s the best thing for you to do.”

“I—”

“Wait,” he interrupted, breathless, taking a wobbling step toward her. He was so close, Kat had to lift her head to look at him, her eyes level with the sharp edge of his rough jaw.

“Please, Peaches. I want”—he exhaled in frustration—“I want to do the right thing. I know I should walk away. I know I should have put my ass on a plane and gone home instead of standing outside of this hotel for four hours in the snow. I know you deserve better. I know all of that, Kat. But the truth is … the truth is …”

Kat closed her eyes, swaying toward him. She shivered when his ice-cold hand cupped her neck and moved to her cheek.

“The truth is,” he whispered, his lips by her ear, “I’m so damned scared to walk away. I can’t. I’m hopeless without you.”

Kat clutched his forearm, rested her head on his biceps, and released a soft, pained sound of relief.

His nose glided up her temple. “I’m yours. You have to know that. Christ. Tell me you know.”

“I know,” she whimpered. “I know.”

Carter’s body fell into Kat’s, pushing her back, stumbling into the hotel room. She managed to shut the door with the edge of her foot as he buried his face into her neck and began to shiver uncontrollably, mumbling garbled words into her skin. His arms wrapped around her waist, gripping her tighter than he ever had before.

“Kat,” he croaked. “I— Kat. Don’t make me go. Please.”

“Never,” she promised ardently.

His body shook violently.

“Let’s get you warm. Please, let me help you. You’re so cold.”

He stepped back reluctantly so she could unzip his jacket, which she pushed off his shoulders. He stood silently, looking downward, water dripping from his chin onto the floor, as she began to undress him. Wordlessly, and with his top half bare, and gooseflesh puckering every inch of his skin, Kat took his shaking hand and led him to the bathroom. Leaving him by the door, she switched on the five large showerheads, turning them to warm. She removed his boots and socks, unfastened his jeans, and helped him out of his underwear before she took off her own clothes.

As naked as they were together, there was no sexual charge, no fizzling atmosphere, no desperate hands or manic kisses.

With her palm in his, Kat guided him into the shower, moving so the water hit his body first. As they stood under the stream, she turned the temperature up gradually, not wanting to shock his body with the heat.