“I’ve entered the Twilight Zone, haven’t I?”

“I’ll be there with you. Everything will be okay, I swear.” She grips my hand tighter to convey assurance, but at this point I think I need something a lot stronger.

Just the sight of the house makes my lungs cave. I have the overwhelming urge to go inside to see if it looks and smells the same, still half-expecting to see him even though she’s assured me a dozen times that he’s gone. His Jeep is missing from the driveway, confirming the fact. Jameson grabs my suitcases, not commenting on the fact that I’ve obviously over packed. Kendall’s acclimated him to things like this.

She takes my carry-on and links her arm with mine. I can tell by her shorter, more hesitant steps that she realizes how nervous I am. Jameson opens the door without faltering and walks inside, leaving us on the porch. I silently peer inside to see the living room and formal sitting area that was converted into a game room when they moved in. It looks almost the exact same, and for some reason it shocks me. It seems like it should all be different.

“Hey!”

My thoughts cease as Landon walks into the living room, his arms already outstretched for a hug, though he’s still several feet away. I feel the pull of my cheeks as I smile in return and cross the threshold. I wrap my arms around him and feel the muscles in his arms constrict as he hugs me.

“How are you doing?” His words are spoken over the top of my head as he holds me tight for a long moment.

I reciprocate the hug, holding my arms tightly around his neck, smelling the familiar scent of his aftershave and cologne. When we each pull back, I notice the edge a small tattoo on the inside of his bicep that I’ve never noticed and rub my finger along it.

“What’s this?”

Landon smiles, but it’s a sorrowful smile that makes my heart squeeze.

“How was the flight?” Jameson asks, his voice sounds slightly louder than normal. I’m not sure if it’s because he knows what’s happening inside of me right now, or if his words just sound loud because of what’s going on inside of me right now.

I turn to look at him, and give a practiced smile before taking a few steps closer to him to set my purse beside my bags. With my last step, my foot connects with the floor and slides forward. Before I can react, I fall to the ground with an unceremonious grunt.

“Shit! Sorry, Ace!” Landon says, as the others apologize behind him. “The damn floors are slicker than all hell. You don’t want to walk around in socks or anything else that doesn’t have traction. The hallway to the bedrooms is pretty safe, but the kitchen and living room are both a bitch,” he explains, holding his hand out to help me stand back up.

“It smells really lemony in here. Did you guys try using like furniture polish on the floors?” I ask.

“It’s a long story.” Landon’s mouth closes as Kendall answers. “Let me go get some clean sheets and blankets.”

When she returns, I purposefully keep my feet on the area rug as I help her make half of the sectional into a bed and Jameson goes and makes drinks in the kitchen. Landon fills me in on where he’s working.

“Everyone’s coming for dinner tonight. They’re all really excited to see you,” Kendall says softly as she reaches over to place her hand on my arm. “I still can’t believe you’re here! The last couple of weeks went by so slow!”

I smile at her because I’m not sure what to say. In some ways it feels really good to be back in California; there’s a sense of rightness that fills my chest, but at the same time being here haunts me with memories. And it’s not just this house, it’s my family, and friends, the sun, the beach, and everything else that I see. Although I can be triggered while in Delaware, it’s different. There these are only replicas or simply memories.

“I need to change,” I say, breaking our contact and going to pull open one of my bags. “Do you mind if I take a shower?”

“No, no. Go ahead,” Kendall says. “If you want to lie down for a while and rest you can use our room. I’m sure the time difference and flying all day has you a little tired.”

“I’m okay. I just want to shower and change. I’m really warm. It was only forty when I left this morning.”

“Yeah. Go. Shower. The others will be here in like two hours, so you have time to get ready and stuff.” She looks at the wall behind her that reveals a new clock from the one that I had bought and Max had hung. “Shoot, they’ll be here in an hour. But if you need help, I can do your hair, or get clothes, or whatever.”

I raise my eyebrows and smile at her. “Are they expecting me to be dressed up?”

“No! No, no,” Kendall repeats, wiping her hands across her jean-covered thighs. “Sorry, no. Everything’s fine.”

I smile and take a couple of steps closer to Kendall and hug her. By the rigidness of her body, I can tell that I’ve surprised her and my heart hurts a little that she’s so nervous by me.

“It’s okay. Everything’s okay,” I whisper in her ear. The muscles in her back loosen as my arms constrict around her. “I love you too.”

“I love you too,” she whispers back.

Jameson and I are in the kitchen, chopping toppings for burgers when the doorbell rings. Kendall, who’s been setting up the side dishes and getting plates and utensils, moves a stack of napkins before mirroring our mom by wiping her hands together.

“Do you want to get it?” she asks, looking over to me.

“Sure.” I do want to get it, but I also feel a little reluctant because I don’t want this to be a big deal, and my sisters don’t know how to not let things be a big deal.

My tennis shoes make nearly silent echoes as I cross the house to the front door. I can hear Mindi on the other side. The moment I open it, a second of silence passes between us as our eyes focus on one another and then her arms are around me, gripping my shoulders in a nearly painful hug that forces me to lean into her to regain my balance.

“My God, you look older! How did that happen?” she asks, pulling away from me but still gripping my shoulders. “Kyle’s never going to let you leave. He’s going to be too freaked out to let you go now that you look like a woman.”

“I haven’t changed. Your eyesight’s just failing. Don’t worry, it’s a normal progression with age.”

Her eyes round and her lips purse, ready to retaliate when Jenny’s voice is heard echoing down the driveway. Adam’s little Smart car is still trolling into the driveway when she leaps from the passenger side door and sprints toward us with her arms opened wide.

Her hug is just as tight, but with it she sways from side to side, her familiar perfume coating her hair that’s fanned around my face.

“God I’ve missed you!”

“The neighbors are going to think something holy is going on if you guys keep mentioning God,” I tease as I hold her bright blue eyes with mine for a moment. I don’t know how I’ve never realized this exchange before. Why it’s taken me twenty-one years, and holding the stare of three of my four sisters, to realize that this silent exchange we share is so familiar. I know that we’ve been doing it our entire lives. I just have always done it without thinking. There’s so much that you can read from another person’s eyes, especially when they’re your sister. I can see the happiness that’s flooding hers with flecks of melancholy that I am certain is reflecting in my own.

Adam trails up the driveway at a far slower pace, allowing us time to get reacquainted.

“Hey, Professor Parker.”

“Miss Bosse,” he says with a lopsided grin. Jenny takes a step back, clearing the short distance between Adam and me that I close with a couple of steps, and wrap my arms around him.

“Welcome to the family.”

His grin stretches to a smile and his eyes travel to Jenny with adoration. “Thanks for introducing me to my fiancée.”