My eyes snap to Kendall beside me, wondering how Max knows anything about this. She gives me a silent nod to confirm she’ll explain later, and I turn back to Nate and nod in agreement. “I’m sorry. I’ll take care of it.”

Nate’s mouth opens like he wants to say something more, but then he closes it and places both hands on his hips as he looks up at the sky. I turn around, not sure how to create any more closure for this moment. Kendall’s right; although I no longer feel such a strong loathing for Nate, he’s still done some really asshole-ish things, and some of those things were to my sister. I’ll never want to be his friend, but I’ll also always feel appreciative for what he helped stop.

Kendall and I trek across the same stretch that I’d covered with Nate, back toward the club in silence. I can tell by the rigidness of her steps that she’s trying to process what just happened.

“I’m sorry I hit you.”

I’m relieved she doesn’t want to discuss what happened that night, though I know she’ll eventually be asking me again. “You seriously know how to hit.”

Kendall turns and the sadness and focus on her face breaks into a small grin. “Max and Landon taught me. You were my first real punch.”

“That’s something for the record books. Remind me to thank Landon later.”

The others are all standing outside of the club, talking and looking at cell phones. I’m sure they’re considering where we went when I hear Mindi’s voice over the raucous noises, calling our names.

“Where did you guys go?” she demands.

“I just needed some air,” Kendall lies seamlessly.

“Let’s go home. I’m ready to stick my Twinkie in some ice cream,” Jameson says, wrapping his arm around Kendall and pressing a kiss to her temple.

“What?” I cry, turning to face him with a laugh.

“I got that ice cream at home…”

“Dude, that sounds wrong on so many levels,” Wes says, shaking his head.

Jameson’s brow furrows for a second, then rises with a laugh. “A Twinkie is only like four inches long, come on. If I was going down that road, I’d have said something like; my trombone is going to get tuned tonight.”

“If you can’t cut the mustard, baby, lick the jar!” Landon calls with a whoop.

I giggle even harder as I lean against Kendall. “I don’t know if I actually understand how that means what I know he’s implying.”

“Battering my corn dog,” Jameson calls out, too loudly. “Painting my flagpole.”

I laugh even harder when I hear Jenny shriek with laughter. “Glazing the donut!” she cries.

Adam looks horrified for a split second, his ears and neck turning red. I have to stop walking because I’m laughing so hard I can’t see straight.

“I think you mean putting cream in the donut,” Wes says, and somehow I think I’m laughing harder than I’ve ever laughed before as I hear Jenny walk through her confusion aloud before understanding.

“Want your chimney swept, babe?” Jameson asks, wrapping an arm around Kendall’s stomach and pulling her flush against him.

“You have to stop,” I choke out. “My stomach hurts.”

“We do not remember days, we remember moments.”

–Cesare Pavese

As I wait for Kendall to finish making her normally straight hair curl into large waves, I search through the liquor cabinet in need of something to take the edge off the impact of emotions that I’m feeling. I have a zillion tiny nerves running through me with the anticipation of seeing my mom and a haunting sadness that makes me want to curl up in a corner and cry. I’m working mercilessly to push them all away and feel ever thankful when my phone chimes, indicating a new text.

I make my way over to the couch where my phone is and take a double glance at my suitcase. It’s been moved slightly, creating more space so the chair sitting adjacent to the couch is now accessible.

My phone chimes again, reminding me why I came over here.

Danny: It already feels like u’ve been gone a LONG time.

Danny: I hope UR 1/2ing fun.

Me: Sometimes your texts are really cryptic. I had to read that four times to realize it says having.

Danny: Some girl said it’s bc I get hit in the head so much.

Me: She sounds smart.

Danny: She’s brilliant. U’D like her.

Me: I have to get going. Jenny’s shower starts soon and we’re supposed to be helping set up.

Danny: OK. I miss U.

Danny: I miss u a lot.

His words sting. A part of me misses Danny too. I miss the ease I often feel when I’m around him and his quick smile. I miss the excitement and energy that he brings and how he manages to make me laugh, even when my own memories are kicking my ass. Yet, I know in my heart that although I genuinely do miss Danny, the feelings that I experience in Delaware when I miss my family, when I miss him, are far more expansive.

Me: I miss you too. Let me know how your fight goes tonight. I know you’ll win—since you don’t know how to lose, but feel free to brag about it afterward.

Danny: I will. Have fun w/ ur sisters @ the party.

Me: Be safe.

Danny: Promise. U 2.

Savannah and Mindi are curling ribbons and tying them to gift bags when Kendall and I arrive.

“Oh good, we need help! I thought this was going to take like ten minutes but there’s so much to do! I need to make punch, and pull out the food, fill the gift bags …” Mindi shoves aside a mess of papers and pens, her brow furrowing. “I have a banner somewhere too.”

Kendall walks a few feet into the kitchen and starts uncovering party platters while I rummage through sacks to see what needs to be included in the favor bags without further instruction.

I look around the living room covered in soft pastels. Lavender, ivory, and butter yellow are Jenny’s wedding colors, and it seems that everything is dressed in one of the themed colors. Vases of purple lilac flowers cover several surfaces, providing a sweet scent that tickles my nose.

“Nice tent job on the house, Min. Where are all the mice?”

Mindi turns to look at me and I see her mind racing to form a response. “We really didn’t plan this very well, did we?”

I crack a smile and shake my head. “You guys are lucky I love you so much.”

She starts a train of laughter that has all of my sisters losing focus for a few minutes before we commence with completing tasks.

This is the longest I’ve ever gone without coming over to Mindi and Kyle’s. When they moved out, they both wanted to live in the same neighborhood as my parents but weren’t able to afford the area, so they moved into an older development with smaller houses that are all just as well kept and still a close distance from where they wanted to be.

“I thought all of the girls were going to be here, where are they?”

“Mom’s bringing them with her,” Mindi replies automatically as she begins hanging the banner she found in a bag of decorations.

I try not to let the thoughts of seeing my mom affect me. I’ve been preparing myself for this, hearing Kitty’s voice in my head, telling me about our life paths and how I need to allow my mom to make her own decisions, just as she’s allowing me to make mine. Her more frequently spoken assurance is difficult to remember, especially this morning: that we still love each other, even though things are strained right now with being in unfamiliar territory.