But he has me too. He places those warm, large hands around my waist, making me feel so impossibly dainty and one hundred percent his. I lean back into him and he presses his pelvis against my ass. I can already feel the hard contours of his erection, straining for me.

“Mommy,” I hear Ava call from the bathroom. Kid has the worst timing I swear.

I raise my shoulder, trying to shrug Bram off. “I don’t want her to get the wrong idea,” I tell him.

He takes his lips and hands away and I can feel his eyes on the back of my head. He clears his throat. “There is no wrong idea, Nicola. There’s only a right one.”

I twist around to face him but he’s already halfway across the room and going for the door.

Shit. Did I scare him off that easily? The expression on his face is tense and I wonder if I somehow offended him.

“Good night,” he says and just like that he’s gone.

Holy moly. I stare at the closed door a few seconds until Ava runs over to me. “Mommy, can I have toothpaste that tastes like bubblegum? I saw it on the TV.”

I absently ruffle her hair. “When you finish this tube you can.”

I’d never seen Bram so moody before though it doesn’t surprise me. Beneath that easy-going exterior, sometimes I can see the darkness in his eyes, hinting at something underneath. We all have that in us.

Later on, after I put Ava to bed, I find that I can’t sleep. I toss and turn, staring up at the ceiling, pulling the duvet over me as the chill from the Bay wafts into my room. I masturbate soundlessly, getting off to Bram everything – Bram on me, inside me, around me – but that doesn’t help at all. It just makes things worse because I’m so aware of how there’s no substitute for the real thing.

Finally, I get up and go into the living room. I sink into the couch and I’m suddenly so grateful for it. Not only is it stylish, but it’s functional without being too overwhelming - meaning, now my guests (aka my mom) have a proper place to sleep when they stay over. And the dark grey color, it kind of reminds me of Bram’s eyes. Especially when they get all dark, like they did earlier, like storm clouds rolling in.

I’m about to flip on the TV and maybe watch something stupid just to take my mind off things when I look at my phone. It’s just after midnight.

Would Bram be awake right now? It might be crazy, but I feel like going next door. Just to see if he’s up. Just to see…

But I don’t want to wake him if he’s not, especially since he left so abruptly. After all he’s done for me, I don’t want to get on his nerves. Well, maybe just a little bit, but only because it’s so fun.

Maybe I’m finally understanding why he likes to bug me so much.

I sigh, staring at my phone. That kiss, such a simple kiss on my neck and I just wanted to give myself over to him, his forever to have. It surprised me how eager and willing I was to just let him have me, with no regard for my heart or for our relationship or for anything. And I know, I know, I should be using my head above all else. It’s kept me safe over the years.

But I just want to pretend that everything will be all right. That giving myself to Bram will answer all my prayers, even if just for a night.

I pick up the phone and text him. Are you awake?

I wait, staring at it in my hands that are trembling slightly, wishing I could take it back. I wait and there’s no response. He’ll probably get it in the morning when he wakes up and I’ll have to come up with some sort of excuse as to why I texted him.

Then I hear his door closing out in the hall and there’s a quiet knock at mine.

I freeze, my hand to my chest and stare at it for a moment, knowing that if I open it, everything could change.

“Nicola,” I hear his throaty voice whisper.

I get up and go to it, opening it a crack. He’s standing in the hall in just a pair of thin, black pajama pants. Very thin. I can’t help but stare at his crotch for a moment.

“Hi,” I tell him softly, tearing my eyes away, my pulse starting to awaken with lust. “Did I wake you up?”

“I’ve been awake for a long time,” he says, his hand resting on the doorframe.

“What have you been doing?”

A heavy pause settles between us.

He licks his lips. “Thinking about you.”

Before I can say anything to that, his eyes burn with urgent need and he bursts into the apartment like a man who sees what he wants and will do anything to get it.

And what he wants is me.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Bram

I couldn’t wait a second longer. What little patience I had left for Nicola had snapped and I let loose like a rubber band that’s been stretched to the end.

I grab her face, that fucking perfect, sweet face and kiss her more wildly, more violent and desperate than I’ve ever felt before. Her mouth feels like silk as my tongue thrusts inside, wanting to claim every wet inch and her skin feels like heaven, clouds, that beckon you to grab and squeeze and make yours.

A small whimper escapes her lips and into my mouth and her hands are on my bare chest, trying to push me back but I can’t wait. While I’m still kissing her, I reach back and quickly close the door behind me, silently, aware that Ava is asleep. I have no intentions of waking her up, of having any interruptions. I’m going to get deep inside Nicola tonight and fuck her so raw, so hard, until she has no choice but to see the animals we are.

I grab her roughly and with a grunt, flip her over my shoulder, like a caveman would, like a hunter would bring home a meal, and take her into the bedroom where I throw her on the bed. She bounces on it and I shut the door behind us, making sure it locks, then take the condom foil out of my pocket and toss it on the bed before sliding off my pants.

She’s breathless and wide-eyed as she stares at my naked, massive erection for the first time. It’s just the reaction I want. Actually, she’s looking a wee bit intimidated but that’s not so bad for the ego either.

“There’s no time for foreplay,” I warn her gruffly as I get on the bed and crawl toward her, my thick shaft bobbing between us. “But I’ll get you wet all the same.” I put my hand on her shoulders and push her down onto the bed while I settle over top of her, my hands on both sides of her face. I run my thumb over her lips, pushing it in until I get between her teeth.

“It wasn’t just tonight that thoughts of you have kept me up,” I tell her, wanting to know how badly she’s gotten under my skin. “It’s every night. It’s all the time.” I remove my thumb and press my body down on top of her, so she can feel how hard, long and ready I am. Her eyes widen but they aren’t afraid. It’s like her body has been ready for this and her mind is struggling to catch up.

She’s eager, even though she doesn’t know what will happen next.

I reach over for the condom packet and slide it on, my heart pounding loudly, and spread her legs apart with my knee. The scent of her already drifts up and I breathe it in deeply, sweet and musky, more addicting than any perfume.

Quickly, before I lose it, my body hair-trigger sensitive, I sit back on my heels and rip open a condom, sheathing the thin latex over my length. I watch Nicola’s face, her eyes taking me all in and I remind myself that even when I’m turning down an extra beer and sweating for hours at the gym, this moment is all worth it. I take the best damn care of my body and she can’t seem to take her eyes off of me.

Once it’s on, I shake a drop of sweat from my brow – Christ, I’m burning up in here, my skin feeling like the sun – and lower myself down on her, keeping all my weight on one arm as my free hand slinks between her waiting legs.

“Just making sure you’re ready for me,” I murmur to her, my lips and teeth finding the soft, delicate lobe of her ear and tugging on it just so. I bring my hand up to her pussy and grin against her cheek. Not only does she feel just as plump and silky as before, now she’s positively drenched. Fuck, I should ditch my plans and just lap up every last decadent drop but then I know I’d be blowing my load in the first minute. There’s nothing so primitively sexy, so fucking raw, than eating a woman out, licking up every ounce of what makes her her. When you combine that with the pleasure you’re giving her, I dare any real man not want to lose control. Turning her on turns me on.