When I approached him after the meeting to congratulate him on a job well done, he was polite yet firm as he turned me down. He was flattered, but he already had a girlfriend. I could tell he was conflicted. I had a deciding vote in approving his loan request. He was taking a huge risk, admitting that he wasn’t interested in me. I had the power to ruin him—or at least stop his business from getting off the ground.

At first, I was furious, hell-bent on getting even. But the more I asked around about him, the more I came to learn about him and Cassidy and how they grew up as childhood sweethearts. Their relationship wasn’t some casual fling. It spoke of a type of loyalty I couldn’t help but admire. Not many guys in their twenties know what they want, and his devotion to her spoke volumes. Here was a guy who was in it for the long haul. He was goal-oriented and romantic.

My only challenge was to get him to transfer that level of fidelity to me. Together we could conquer the world. With my money and influence coupled with his charisma and know-how, we’d make one hell of a couple. We’d blow this little town right out of the water. We could go anywhere. Do anything. Nothing could stop us. Nothing would stand in our way.

Except a baby.

At first, I was willing to wait it out. Yeah, Eric was building their dream house. He’d even proposed to Cassidy, but I knew better. I had my spies where I needed them. Cassidy wasn’t being so discreet with her little liaisons. She wasn’t covering her tracks. She was leaving a trail that was easy to trace. It’s like she wanted to get caught. I had her right where I wanted her.

And then Eric announced that she was pregnant and my bubble burst. He would never leave her at that point, no matter what she did to him. He would do everything he could to ensure his child grew up being raised by both a mother and a father. They were inexplicably bound, this fetus tethering them together through all eternity. Eric was a good Christian boy, raised in the church. He would marry the mother of his child, end of discussion.

Even if I’d told him that she was cheating on him and provided him with irrefutable proof, he’d still have walked her down the aisle. It’s just the kind of guy he is—dutiful to a fault. Then Cassidy got sick and the media turned her into a national martyr. It sickened me how everyone felt so sorry for her when Eric was the one pushed to the sidelines, the emphasis always on her. He was faithfully fulfilling his role, holding her hand in front of the cameras. He had no clue what was going on behind his back, but I did.

I bided my time. She had stage four breast cancer. The likelihood of her carrying that child to term was slim to none. If she somehow did manage to give birth, I would have had to seriously consider whether or not I wanted to raise her bastard child as my own. No matter how much I wanted Eric, I didn’t think I could stomach it. He would always love that child more than me because it was a part of Cassidy, and she was already on her way to sainthood. There was no getting in the way of that. It was either the child or me. If it had survived, I would have walked away.

When Cassidy passed away, taking the baby with her, I secretly rejoiced. It sounds horrible but she got what was coming to her. Eric was too good a man to be saddled with someone like her. She’d have kept him trapped in this backward community for the rest of his life. He would have been staring at a dead end by marrying her. She had no valuable connections. She couldn’t have advanced his career. But I could have gotten him out of this hellhole of a town.

I didn’t want to come on too strong after Cassidy died. I mean, the man was still in mourning. But every chance I had, I’d stop over the garden center or call him on the phone, letting him know I was still interested in him. He was lonely. I could tell, and I preyed on that. He was a man. It wouldn’t be long until he sought out some female companionship, and I was ready and willing to oblige. My number would be the first one he’d call, guaranteed.

But I waited and waited and nothing happened. My uncle kept pestering me to leave the Gazette and come out to L.A. to help him with his latest project. It was the holiday season and I was feeling low. I never like to admit defeat, but I was ready to give up. I could’ve told Eric about Cassidy, but why bother? I thought he’d come running the minute she was in the ground, but he didn’t. Maybe it was time for me to move on and forget all about him. But I gave it one last effort and called his number.

And lo and behold, he accepted my invitation for a nightcap. Sure, I labeled it a business meeting, but who talks profit margins on a Friday night? He knew what I was after. I didn’t have to spell it out for him. The look he gave me when I opened the door, I’ll never forget. It was hungry, desirous. Lust was radiating off of him. He’d never allowed himself to look at me that way before, but now his barriers were lowered. He was ready for something more.

This was the opportunity I’d been longing for. He was mine. All mine. And boy was I going to have fun with him. I opened a bottle of wine to ease things along, and before I knew it, we were on the couch in my office. I was undressing him. We were almost there. He was going to let me do him without a condom. I did a rapid mental calculation in my head. I was due to ovulate at any time. He could actually get me pregnant if we had sex. I wasn’t on the pill because I wasn’t sleeping with anybody. I hadn’t slept with anyone since college. He needed this. I needed this. My plan was working out beautifully—until I broke a nail.

I should’ve let it go and carried on, but I panicked. What if I really did end up pregnant after this? He was really not the Eric he was before. He wasn’t as driven. He wasn’t as focused. He’d let himself go, barely hanging on to what he had left. No doubt Cassidy’s death was a blow, but I thought he was strong enough to pick himself up and carry on. Now he was more of a wildcard, not so much of a sure bet. He wasn’t the confident, self-assured guy I’d seen in that meeting. Now it looked like he couldn’t even bother to shave. Was this what I really wanted in my life—a train wreck of a man whose best days were already behind him?

I used my broken nail as an excuse to stop things before they went too far. He needed more time to get his act together. I’d give him a few more months and see if he pulled through. There was no rush. It wasn’t like this town was crawling with available women. Who was he going to date instead—Marla down at the post office? I don’t think so.

We got dressed and said our awkward goodbyes, and I was disappointed when he climbed into his truck half loaded and drove away. I thought he’d at least call a cab. That wasn’t responsible behavior. Did he really care so little about his life that he’d risk driving under the influence on those icy country roads? Was that the kind of effect I had on him? I didn’t want to think about it. I shoved it to the back of my mind to ponder when I was sober.

Months went by and winter turned to spring. I was busy at work. The paper hit its first financial speed bump as the economy continued to sour and more and more businesses closed their doors. It was up to me to somehow find a way to make up the lost ad revenue. I decided to take on more unpaid interns for the summer and slash the payroll as much as I could. I added Ryan to the delivery staff and he asked about bringing Ivy on board. Little did I know that it would be the biggest mistake of my life.

I knew so little about her then. She was my stepbrother’s childhood friend. That about summed up my knowledge of her. I didn’t much care for her after our interview. She didn’t seem like she was taking it seriously, sassing me back and showing up in flip-flops, but I didn’t have the time or the desire to screen any more applicants. She seemed competent, so I pulled the trigger and did Ryan a favor.