“Jesse.”

My heart started beating faster as she said my name again. She smiled in her sleep as she mumbled something else that I didn’t catch. She was dreaming about me—that much I could tell.

Her lips parted, and I couldn’t stop myself. I leaned forward a few inches and pressed my lips against hers. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t help it. I expected to kiss her and move away. What I hadn’t expected was her reaction. She moaned and threw her arm around me as she kissed me back.

It was like the last two years had never happened. I was drowning in her as I kissed her with everything I had. My body was on fire, and I pulled her closer until there wasn’t an inch of space between us. She fit perfectly against me, just like she always had. I knew it was wrong to do this. She was with Andy now, but I didn’t stop. I kissed her lips, her cheeks, and down her neck.

When she pushed her hand between us and cupped me through my shorts, I nearly came right then and there. When it came to her, a simple touch was all I needed. It took everything I had to push her away from me. If I didn’t stop now, I knew I wouldn’t.

She opened her eyes to look at me. As I saw the tears in them, I felt as if someone had reached into my chest and ripped out my heart.

“Why did you have to ruin it all?” she whispered before she passed out.

I felt my world crumbling around me as I closed my eyes.

“Ugh, my head.”

My eyes snapped open at the sound of Emma’s voice. It took me a second to realize that I wasn’t dreaming. She was really in my bed.

She gasped as she opened her eyes and saw me next to her. “Where am I? Why are you here?”

“You’re at my house. I found you drunk at Sam’s house last night.”

“Oh god.”

“It’s fine. Don’t freak out. Sam was getting a little grabby, but nothing happened.”

“I don’t remember very much from last night. The last thing I remember is Sam handing me a drink. Actually, I remember him handing me a lot of drinks.” It was obvious from her tone that she was pissed. “Where was I when you found me?”

I didn’t want to tell her. “It’s not important.”

“Jesse, tell me where I was at.” She glared at me.

“You were still at his house. He had you up against the wall.” I felt rage fill me again as I remembered how I’d found her. Sam better hope that he doesn’t cross paths with me for a very long time.

“Fuck,” she groaned.

“It’s fine. I saw you before anything happened. I bet Sam has one hell of a headache though.”

“Why?”

“I punched him.”

She smiled for a split second before she winced. “Did you hit me, too? Because my head feels like it’s going to explode.”

“No, that wasn’t me. That was the alcohol.”

We were silent as we stared at each other. Emma seemed to realize that she was in my bed because the next thing I knew, she was throwing the covers off and trying to stand up.

“Where are you going?” I asked, afraid that she would run.

“I shouldn’t be here. I need to go.”

I wanted to ask her if she was going back to Andy, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I knew the answer, and I didn’t need to hear her say it. The thought of her and Andy together made me sick to my stomach.

“At least let me make you some breakfast. You can shower here, too, if you want. You’ll feel better once you’re clean and have some food in you,” I said, trying to get the image of her and Andy out of my head.

She seemed unsure. “I don’t know. I shouldn’t even be around you.”

“Please? We don’t have to talk about…anything. Just a shower and food, and then you can leave.”

She studied me for a moment before nodding. “Shower and food—that’s it. Then, I’m gone.”

“Deal.” I stood up and walked to my dresser. I pulled out a pair of my sweatpants and one of my shirts. “Here—you can wear these.”

I knew it was wrong, but I got some kind of sick satisfaction out of having her wear my clothes. I knew I should back off because she was Andy’s now, but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted Andy to see her wearing my clothes. I walked out first to make sure that Ally wasn’t home. When I was satisfied that she wasn’t, I showed Emma where the shower was.

I left her alone and walked to the kitchen to start searching for food. I grabbed a bottle of water and a bottle of pills for her headache, and then I headed back to the bathroom. The door opened silently, and I walked in to put the bottles on the counter. I couldn’t help but look at the shower. The glass was fogged over, so I couldn’t see anything but her outline. I forced myself to turn and walk away before I did something stupid. I didn’t think she’d appreciate it very much if I decided to help her in the shower.

That thought brought back memories that I’d tried to bury. When we had been in London, I’d offered to help her shower. I’d promised to be good, but she hadn’t. I felt my body tighten as I remembered what that shower had led to. I focused all of my attention on making breakfast, so I wouldn’t think about things that could never happen again. There was no use torturing myself.

I finished making eggs and toast, and I put them on the table. I walked to the bathroom to let her know that the food was ready. I stopped short when I noticed the door hanging open. I knew she was gone before I even checked. Sure enough, when I walked into the bathroom, Emma was nowhere to be seen. Her clothes were still lying on the floor, and the pills and water bottle were gone. I rushed to the front door just in time to see her car go flying by.

Damn it.

“Jesse, what are you doing?” a voice called.

I looked over to see Ally walking up the sidewalk to the house. She stopped in front of me and looked up at me questioningly.

“I was just looking outside,” I lied.

She pushed past me and into the house. “Look, I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to say those things to you. My body is all screwed-up from the baby, and I blame the hormones. Will you forgive me?”

“I understand you’re going through a lot, but damn, it’s like you weren’t even you.”

She hung her head. “I know. I just get so jealous when I think about Emma. I just want you to be mine. I was just starting to break through your barriers. Then, she walks back in, and everything goes to hell.”

“Ally, I think we need to talk. Let’s sit down on the couch.”

She eyed me warily as she walked to the couch and sat down. I followed and sat down in the chair across from her.

“Look, I’m just going to come out and say this. I don’t mean to hurt you, but I won’t lead you on.”

“What are you trying to say?” Ally asked quietly.

“I love you, Ally. I just don’t love you in the way you want. I told you that I would help you with this baby, and I will, but I won’t be its father. I can’t. Once you get on your feet, you’ll move on and find someone who cares about you the way you want, and he’ll make a great dad. It just can’t be me.”

“Why? Because you still love her?” she asked tearfully.

“It has nothing to do with Emma. Even if she hadn’t come back into my life, I still couldn’t do it. I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t want to lead you on. I’m sorry, Ally. I can’t make myself feel something for you if it’s not there.”

“If you gave us some time…”

“Ally, no. There is nothing there. Please let it go.”

I felt like the biggest asshole ever as tears streamed down her face. I never meant to hurt her.

“I understand,” she whispered. “I didn’t sleep any last night, so I’m going to take a shower and try to sleep before I have to go to work.”

I stayed silent as she stood and walked into her room. A few seconds later, she reemerged, carrying clean clothes. I winced as she walked into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her. It was obvious that she was pissed off.