After having enough self-evaluation as to why the Basso’s always leave me I decide to head back to my room figuring I can just put my ear buds in until Kenna and Bryan finish having phone sex.  Waking up next to your best friend moaning in the bed next to you while telling your other best friend explicitly what she is doing is something I don’t want to relive.

I turn around after one last sigh at the beautiful view.  My eyes automatically shut when I see Gabe sitting in a lounge chair in front of me a little to the right of where I am standing.  I catch his eyes and tears start falling down my face again.  I start wiping them frantically with the backs of my hand hoping he doesn’t notice them.

“I am so sorry Maddy.”  Gabe stands up brushing my tears away with his thumbs.

I swallow hard unable to say anything.

“I never meant to hurt you.”  He continues.

“Then why did you?” I whisper.

“Come with me?”  Grabbing my hand he leads me towards the beach.  He feels my hesitation in my steps.  “Please Mad.”  He begs.

“Okay.”  I agree softly.

We take off our shoes to tuck them under the stairs.  Gabe rolls his pant legs up so they won’t get wet and then he winds his fingers around mine guiding me towards the water.  It amazes me how his presence makes me feel safe and unsafe at the same time.  I know he won’t let anyone harm me but the emotional harm he can do to me will be beyond repairable.

He smiles over to me looking relieved and scared. “I know I have been an asshole Maddy and I can’t expect you to forgive me but I want you to hear me out.”

“Okay” my stomach feels like I could throw up at any minute.

“When I came to your dorm room that afternoon to get you out of bed.  I was just there as a friend.  I knew my brother would want you to enjoy your college life even though he was being a selfish prick. When Little Ross told me about how you sit in your room all the time not making friends or go out I knew I had to do something.”  He stops taking a deep breath in before continuing.  I see how hard this is for him to admit to me.

“Then after that first week of hanging out with you something shifted inside of me.  I couldn’t explain it at first but I wanted to be around you all the time.  I even hung outside your buildings hoping to run into you after class.  Don’t get me wrong, I was always attracted to you but this was something different, something I never felt before.”  He stops again.  I honestly don’t know if I want him to continue.

“As the weeks went on if I wasn’t in class or studying I was with you.  I loved learning all the things I never knew about you.  Finding out what your favorite meal or favorite ice cream was.  Taking you around the campus I knew so much about and seeing your expressions to the places and things I love about it.  That’s why when it became natural for us to start touching, I couldn’t keep my hands off of you even if it was just holding your hand or hugging you.  It felt so good to be like a couple but deep down I knew I wanted more than friendship but I never wanted to push you.”  He looks over at me trying to gauge my thoughts so I smile back reassuring him I felt the same.

“When we went home for Thanksgiving my mom told me she saw the way our friendship was turning and I needed to stop it.  I knew what I was doing when I grabbed your feet to massage them.  I wanted to see how my family would react.  If they were willing to let you be mine and not Trent’s.”  His eyes look angry thinking about it.  I already know his mom’s reaction from over hearing their conversation but I decide to keep that to myself.

“I knew I was crossing a line I shouldn’t.  I mean taking my brothers girl, I might as well call the morgue to reserve my spot.  So, I started to stay away from you.  I didn’t mean to hurt you.  I figured it was for the best.  Then you went to your dads for Christmas and Trent came home.”

“I heard what Trent did.”  I say. And he looks at me surprised.  “Bryan overheard, told Kenna and she told me.”

“Yeah, well…” he runs his hand through his hair.  “He told me to stay away from you when I told him he better stop being a jackass and keep his dick in his pants.”  His eyes fill with sadness to tell me this part.  “I told him if he wanted you he needed to put you as number one priority in his life.”  He stops but I know that isn’t it.

“And?”  I ask.

“I told him I would stay away from you if he did.”  Gabe stops walking and pulls me back to him and I fumble into his arms.  “It’s been so hard Maddy.”

“You didn’t seem to be upset earlier.”  I sneer regarding the drunk red head sucking his neck.

“God, I met her tonight.  I was trying to move on.  Grady and the guys brought me down here to get my mind off of you.  I don’t want her Maddy but I don’t know what to do anymore.”  He sits down in the sand with his head in his knees.

“I don’t know either.”  I sit down next to him extending my legs out crossing at the ankle.  Not exactly the ideal spot to sit in a dress, especially one this short.

“Can I ask you a question?”  He peaks his head over to me and those blue eyes are filled with agony.  I nod my head.  “Where were you at last semester with us?”

“Um…” I hesitate.  How do I tell him that as confused as I am about him and Trent he weaseled into my heart at some point during those short months?

“Please Maddy, I have to know.”  He grabs my hand turning towards me.

“Pretty much the same as you.  I don’t think I truly realized it until after you stopped calling or coming over.  It completely destroyed me.”

“Really?”  He seems surprised.

“Yeah.”  I bite my lip smiling up at him.

“Doesn’t that just make it ten times more complicated?  I thought for sure I was alone with this.”  He motions between the two of us.

“Nope.”

“You just made me the happiest guy and the most pissed off guy at the same time.”

“Why?”

“I want you, you want me but I made this promise to my brother.”  He shakes his head back and forth.

“Don’t I have a say in any of this?’  I ask annoyed.

“Trent loves you Maddy and I am pretty sure you love him too.  I should have never interfered between you guys.”

“You didn’t interfere.  Trent is the one who wanted to break up.  Trent is the one who wanted to live out his college days without a girlfriend.  So he should be able to fuck a different girl every night of the week and I should wait around until he is ready to commit?  I refuse to live my life like that.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that I am his brother.  He should have been able to trust me with his girlfriend.”

“OH MY GOD.”  I scream.  “I wasn’t then and I am not now Trent Basso’s girlfriend.”  I yell.

I go to stand up but Gabe grabs my face with both his hands and kisses me.  Before I notice I am laying down on the sand with him half on top of me.   He puts his lips over mine urgently thrusting his tongue in my mouth.  My tongue is slow to join in but when they touch a surge abrupts through my body and I can’t get enough.  I put my hand on the back of his neck holding him to me eager for his taste.

“You have no idea how long I have wanted to kiss you.”  He murmurs quietly.

I whimper into his mouth agreeing with him not wanting him to pull away again.

Gabe and I lay on the beach for two more hours kissing, hugging and touching each other.   We don’t talk about Trent anymore or why we shouldn’t be together.  We don’t discuss the promise he made not to touch me.  We relish our time together away from anyone who would judge us.

When we stand up to go back to the hotel, Gabe holds me close to him with his arm around my waist.  He walks me to my room and kisses me goodnight.  No mention of seeing me tomorrow or what the future would hold for us.  I don’t know where we stand so I kiss him fully before saying good-bye just in case that will be my last time tasting Gabe Basso.