I need to escape and gain as much distance as I can away from them. Paige follows me until the balcony cages me in, forcing me to turn around. She doesn’t stop until her body is flush against mine. Her hands grab each side of my head and she stares up at me. There’s nothing but love in her eyes, nothing but you’re my hero. She’s amazing and what’s about to happen is going to fuck this up between us.

“It’s okay. Talk to me,” she pleads and I want to grab her and fly up into the sky like Superman. She’s got enough on her plate without me adding a side of my troubled past to it.

“We’re just going to move on.” Just then Nora and Carly emerge around the corner and begin approaching us slowly. “Fuck. Tell them to leave before I go ape shit.”

Paige twists around and then faces me again. “Just talk.” Right when they get close, I slam my lips onto Paige’s and insert my tongue forcefully into her mouth. She slaps my chest and when I break the kiss she’s pushes off me. “Don’t.” Her authoritative voice grabs my attention. “Don’t use me as some ploy to make her jealous. It only devalues me.” She steps back and I close my eyes. Paige has always seen the good and bad inside of me.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble. My eyes glued to Carly.

“I know.” She places her hand in mine and I squeeze it.

“Hi.” Nora speaks first and her eyes focus more on Paige than me. “Paige, right?” Paige nods. “This is my sister, Carly.”

Carly’s eyes leave mine and look to Paige. “Hi.” She holds her hand out and Paige shakes it.

“Hi.” Paige is too polite, what the hell? Maybe she doesn’t love me; I don’t forget she never told me back.

“Hi, Rob.” Carly faces me and my throat dries.

“Carly . . . Nora.” There I did it. Is Paige happy now?

“How have you been?” Carly continues and I wish I could zip her mouth shut.

“Great.” I splash on a wide smile, showing all my teeth.

“Good.” Her eyes flick to Paige and then back to mine. “Can we talk?”

“No.”

“Please.”

“You had your chance seven years ago when you got on that plane.”

“Just talk to her.” Nora pleads her case and my shoulders slump.

“Talk.” I wrap my arm around Paige and draw her in.

“We’ll be over there.” Paige points to the bench on the other side and steps away from me. I miss her reassurance already.

“You don’t have to.” I fight but Paige gives me a small smile. How is she so damn resilient?

Nora and Paige wander over to the bench side by side, silence encompassing everyone.

I wheel around to stare out to the city. “What do you want?”

She tentatively comes along my side. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you here?”

“My grandpa is dying.”

My head whips around. “Grandpa Hank?” She nods. “Sorry.”

I loved her grandpa. He was the first person to give me a beer.

“Me too. Cancer.”

“How’s California?”

“I live in Texas now.”

“Run away from some other slop?”

“Rob, don’t do that. You have selective memory when it comes to us.”

I turn around, my eyes pinning hers. “You want to know what I remember, Carly? I remember grieving by myself. Dealing with the guilt of what I did all by myself. You ran from me and I fucking loved you.”

“I know, but God, I killed my dad. Do you think I don’t wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t kept coming on to you and wouldn’t have made you distracted at the wheel? I ran away from not only you, but my family. I couldn’t handle it all.”

“You found clarity in a new city, with friends?”

“No, I found therapy. It’s taken me a long time, Rob, but I’ve made amends with myself.”

“That’s good. I have too and now things are going good and I’m not going to allow you to come back and screw it up for me.” I step back but she steps forward. Her eyes glance over to Paige and Nora and I turn around to see them. They’re hidden by a tree and can’t see us.

“I came back for my grandpa, but I planned to visit you. Nora told me about your girlfriend.” Her hand extends and covers mine on the rail. “Let’s give it another try?”

“You’re insane.” I’m surprised how level my voice is.

“Rob, we were good together. I still love you.” She’s inching closer as I keep backing away.

“Carly, back up.” I remove her hand from my mine.

Staring into her green eyes, I could float back to memories long gone. Her red hair tucked back into a ponytail, the way it swung back and forth to the same rhythm as her ass. I’m so concentrated on who we were seven years ago, I fail to notice her close proximity to me. Her hand reaches around my back and she presses herself against me.

“You know you still want me. Remember our first time? The night you told me you loved me.”

My body is fighting and just as I unwind myself from her grip, Paige runs by.

Fuck.

“Paige!” I scream after her and I run, stopping in my tracks at Nora. “What did you say to her?” I yell.

“Nothing. I just talked about you and Carly back in the day.” She pops a shoulder and rage occupies every fiber of my body. She purposely made Paige upset.

Shaking my head, I sprint toward Paige, who’s now disappeared into the hospital.

I LITERALLY CAN’T breathe, and I’m two seconds from passing out.

“Paige!” Rob screams as I flee past him, not missing how close the two of them are.

I wanted to be the good girlfriend. The one to suggest he handles his past because I’m his present and hope to be his future. But good things don’t happen to me and I should have realized that someone’s past always haunts them. Everyone remembers their first.

Unsure if he’s following me, I duck into a women’s bathroom and escape into a stall. As the tears roll down my cheeks, I pick up my feet on the toilet and pull my knees into my chest.

Nora’s sly way of telling me maybe I should step aside and see if their history still burns. Her damn analogy of embers and fire pissed me off. Trying to tell me there might be embers burning below the surface that would never be extinguished. What the hell? A few weeks ago she said Carly would want him to be happy and to make sure it happens. Now, I think it was a calculated plan and they hit their target on the mark. My heart shattered when she said Carly had called Rob this week and they had a date set to talk. I knew she lied. I mean the shock on Rob’s face wasn’t an act. He didn’t think Carly stood in the same state let alone the same hospital as us.

It was my last straw, and maybe if my mom wasn’t upstairs ready to end her life and give me her son, I’d saunter over there and let Rob kiss the shit out of me right in front of her. I ran because it’s all too much and I’m drowning in my own head. I wish it was months ago, before Rob snuck in and took a hold of my heart. Then it’d be easier for me to push him aside and deal with my fucked up life. But I want to be selfish and keep him for myself, because he’s my own little sliver of sunshine peeking through the clouds at the end of a thunderstorm.

Questions fill my brain. How? Why? Will my life ever be simpler and happier?

No! No, I’m not going to sit here and be sad for myself. I don’t need a man in my life anyway. So, I stand up, swipe the tears from my cheeks and open the door. After splashing my face with water, I pat my face with the paper towels and leave the confines of the bathroom.

Luckily, Rob’s nowhere to be found, but if he truly wants to find me, he’ll be there. Just as I expected and hoped, he’s leaning against the wall outside my mom’s room.

When he sees me, he kicks off the wall and breaks the distance, grabbing my hands. God knows what the nurses think is happening here. “It’s not what you think. I don’t even know why she’s telling me she wants me back.”

I choke on the small amount of saliva still in my throat. “She wants you back?” I question. This is clarification from Nora’s comments.