Vera’s fingers curled into his chest. She’d never seen him look so uncaring about something that must be painful.

“Feel free to tell me to shut up and mind my own business, but may I ask what happened?” Vera held her breath. She was so stupid. Falling for a human who made her heart race every time he was near was utterly stupid. It was even stupider though to try to learn more about him. She was digging her own painful grave and she knew it.

His eyes found hers and softened. “No, it’s fine. I know about your parents anyways. It’s only fair. Dad was a cop. His father before him and his before him was all cops. He wanted me to be a cop too, but there was no way I was going to be like him.” He laughed the sound cold as ice and bitter. She saw raw pain and anger on his face and wanted to soothe it all away.

“Monday through Friday was always the same. He’d come home from the job and start into the beer. By time we ate dinner, he was stumbling around the house. When the dishes were put away, he was angry. Same shit every day. Some nights were fine, you learned to be around him, to tip toe around conversations and say only the right things. Some nights weren’t so easy.

“One wrong word later and Mom was trying to deflect blows. I’d call the cops when I was young, but they were his friends. Hell some of them probably had the same problem, fuck if I know. When I was twelve, I started goading him to get him off my Mom. God, she’s so small you know. Kind of like you, and my dad was a big man. Anyways, when I turned fifteen we started exchanging blows. Sometimes it turned out good for me, sometimes not. When I was eighteen though, I left.”

Vera’s heart was crying in her chest, and hot tears pooled at her eyes. God she was turning into a weepy bitch. “You joined the military.” He nodded absently.

“I hated myself more for going.”

“Why? I would have gone away too.”

He was shaking his head, his eyes stark. “I left her there. Just left her with him.” There was no hiding the pain on his face. Vera couldn’t stop herself but climbed completely over him and held him tight, pressing kisses to his cheeks, his chin, his lips. She wanted desperately to wipe the look from his face. The look of a hurt young man, blaming himself for trying to find a way out. He didn’t touch her, his hands lying dead on the bed.

“He died the year I turned twenty-three. I left her with him for four years.”

“Oh baby.” Vera held him tighter, could feel his heart pounding over her own.

“I need to get up.” Vera let go and watched him leave the bed, feeling as though a piece of her just left too.

“I’m so sorry I brought it up. I didn’t mean...I didn’t mean for any of this. I just wanted to know about you. I-I’m sorry, Jacks.” He turned to face her, the look on his face passive and cold.

“Now you know why I’ve never gotten close to a woman. Because I’ll be just like him, and no woman deserves that, especially you, Vera.”

Vera’s heart turned cold. She heard the words leaving her mouth and a part of her couldn’t recall saying them. “But last night you said that...you said—”

“I said what, Vera? That I was angry that a vampire tried to use some kind of date rape sounding drug on you?”

This was all turning around way too quickly. She rushed on, feeling desperate. “No, that’s not what I meant. It’s just that you asked me about myself. I told you something I’ve never told anyone. I thought that...meant something. You said there was something between us, lumara.” He started jerking clothes. He didn’t look at her but she caught a glimpse of his face. It was the same hard face she’d seen when she first met him. Hard, unfeeling, alert.

He laughed. “Yeah I said there was something between us, then I fucked you, and when I woke up I fucked you again. Do you need me to say it? There’s sex between us, Vera. That’s all. Good hard fucking. And here I thought you weren’t the sentimental type. I suppose I’ll have to be the one to tell you this, baby, but just because a guy asks you one thing about yourself does not mean he’s ready to marry you.” He turned and walked out of the bedroom.

Vera choked back a sob and ran for the bathroom. She turned on the shower and jumped in, only then did she let the tears spill. Everything happened so fast. If only she hadn’t brought it up. She replayed what happened a hundred times until the water ran colder and colder.

When the water was cold enough to break goosebumps across her skin, she realized something. It was so obvious now that she hadn’t seen it before because of the instantaneous pain that had bloomed.

She got out of the shower, feeling much stronger, her head clearer. She pulled on her clothes and applied a light touch of mascara.

When she was done, she smiled at herself because she knew several things. That Jackson Marsh was trying very hard to push her away. She’d made him realize something very ugly after all. She also knew that Jackson Marsh cared about her. She hadn’t imagined the panic she saw in his face, and she was no longer fooled about the way he dismissed their conversation last night or their time together this morning.

If the man thought he could throw some ugly words in her face and she’d run scurrying back under the covers, then he obviously was an idiot. She paused with her hand an inch from the doorknob. It was either that or she was the idiot for pursuing a human man who could easily drop her heart and shatter it into a million pieces. If there was anything she was it wasn’t a coward.

She pulled open the door and found him standing across the hall. He stared above her head at some indiscriminate part of the wall. Vera grinned and launched herself at him, catching him with her arms and legs.

He cut a sharp look to her and she knew she’d moved to fast for him to see. His hands moved to her waist, whether to touch her or push her away she didn’t know. She looped her arms around his neck and pressed kisses over the perpetual stubble that always shaded his cheek. She kissed his chin, across his nose, the corner of his mouth. Slowly, the hands on her waist loosened their tight grip, became gentle, caressing.

“You don’t know what you’re doing.” She kissed a path along his ear before answering. “Yes I do.” He smelled so good, like rugged man, and he tasted even better.

“I’m not going to apologize for what I said, because I was right. I’ve never been in a relationship, Vera. Never. Don’t you get that? I’m glad you asked me about my past, because I can’t escape it. I’m just like him.”

Vera kissed him to shut up him. He let loose a feral growl and kissed her back, hard and wet.

“You’re forgetting to add a few things to your equation, lumara. One, that it isn’t your past that defines you but the choices you make now. Two, you are nothing like your father in that regard; and three, you could never beat me in a fight.”

His brief, choked laughter was like music to her ears. He titled his head back and stared up at the ceiling, and she wondered whether he realized that his hands were trailing gently up and down her back.

“Don’t forget that I’m not human.” His laughter died slowly and he looked down at her with warmth and something else. Hope was it? Or maybe her own stupid was heart was making her see what she wanted to see.

“What does ‘lumara’ mean? I’ve never heard the word before.” Heat rushed to Vera’s face, she ducked before he could see it. She hopped down and started down the hallway.

“Come on, we have to go. The meeting will begin soon.” Masculine laughter teased her ears, and then she was backed up against a hard male body. His dark scent filled her nostrils and she arched back into him. One big hand spread over her stomach, trapping her.

“We’re not going anywhere until you tell me what it means, baby. Tell me or I’ll put you on your knees right here and make you suck my cock.”