She couldn’t help it. She’d always been an eater when she was depressed. No, depressed didn’t cover what she felt. She’d found and lost her mate. She laughed the sound hollow and cold. She watched her mate die then get turned into a vampire. No that wasn’t quite accurate either. She’d found her mate, but he didn’t want her. That about summed it up.

“Because I have problems,” she mocked in a wimpy male voice. Vera stared at the dishes, lips pursed. She looked down at herself and felt her shoulders sag.

She was wearing a baggy t-shirt with stains and sweatpants. She hadn’t even known she owned sweatpants. The man was ruining her life. She was surprised she didn’t feel angrier about it. It wasn't like when Dmetri dumped her to the curb. No, this felt entirely different. Like half of her soul was dead. It was so, so much worse.

She wanted to go back to bed where she could spend all day sleeping, but even now, sleep wouldn’t come. How cruel was life when all she wanted was to sleep and make it all go away but she could barely sleep more than two hours a night?

Fucking cruel bitches.

Vera didn’t know if it was seeing her baggy sweatpants or the culmination of smelly dishes that pushed her. But finally, something in her snapped. Weeks of painful tears and a bleeding heart set her in motion. She attacked the dishes. The water was too hot and burned her hands, but she bit her lip and continued.

When she finished one side of the sink, she realized she felt...better. Anger was driving her now, and it felt so much better than self-pitying sadness. She scrubbed the dishes until they shined and glinted in the kitchen light.

When she finished all of them, her strainer was full and she had to lay a towel out to put the rest of the dishes out to dry.

What was he doing right now?

Fucking? Sleeping, flirting with some skank, drinking some other woman’s blood? She had no idea. Hell, she didn’t want to know. That’s right. Mate or not, she was done. Done hurting. A month of pain was a month too long.

She trudged up the stairs to her bedroom and her legs burned with the effort. She felt nothing but disgust at herself at how far she’d let herself go. She pulled off her baggy shirt and sweats and stepped into the shower. Turning the water all the way up, she scrubbed herself clean until she was pink.

Miraculously, she actually felt better, lighter, as if she’d washed away some of her problems. She laughed knowing that was a lie. Just like how Jackson used to drink away his problems only to sober up to them, she was no different.

She wished his father were still alive so that she could show him a thing or two about picking on someone his own size. Okay maybe she wasn’t his size, but damn if she wouldn’t like to wail on that motherfucker.

She was just finishing applying her mascara when a knock sounded at the front door. Vera froze, her heart faltering a step in her chest at the sound. She returned the mascara wand and closed it with surprisingly calm hands.

She’d only spoken to Vane a couple of times since she got back. She told him about Ariss, her guardian, and her Master trying to take Kategan land and after he roared loud enough to crack a window, she admitted that they were attacked again later. She winced guiltily, though she may have left out a few other pertinent details...like that Rome’s old best friend was now a vampire, and he was her mate. Stuff like that.

The knocked sounded again and she flinched. Somehow she made her arms work and put a robe on. What, she thought defensively. If Jackson wants people to know he’s a bloodsucker, nightwalker, shadow dweller, thing of the night, then it wasn’t her responsibility to tell people. She was just thinking of him really.

But Vane always called when he wanted to talk. He didn’t come over, and Rome and Alison were still out of town. A month long freaking honeymoon? Geez, Alison wasn’t going to be able to walk when they got back.

Vera told her stupid heart not to beat so freaking fast, not to get too excited. It wasn’t him. Please be him.

She reached the door and flung it open.

“What the hell took you so long?” Vera’s heart did not weep in disappointment. She did not want to run back upstairs and cry her eyes out. She did not.

Plastering on a smile she said, “Sarina how good to see you. Come on in.”

“Sorry for the attitude, I just was starting to feel like a cop banging on that door.” Vera motioned for her to take a seat and then took the one opposite hers.

“No problem. What can I do you for?” She hadn’t talked to Vane’s mate one on one...ever.

Sarina shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “Okay, well, see I wanted to talk to you. But I know it’s not really my place, yet I’m just kind of nosey enough to push that aside and come over here late at night.”

Vera’s mouth pulled into a real smile this time, though a flicker of unease rolled through her. “I understand that and I respect your tenacity. I give you leave to say what you want,” she said grandly.

Sarina’s looked as if a wish had just been granted. “Thank you so much for that you don’t know how much I appreciate that. Okay, so first, I know you’re sad and I want you to know that if you need to talk to someone, I’m here. Also, I would love to get to know you more so I wanted to ask you over for dinner sometime. And lastly, I am dying to know what’s going on between you and Jackson Marsh.” Her eyes twinkled so brightly, it was a wonder they didn’t sparkle.

Vera cleared her throat—twice. She ran through everything Sarina said twice before she could figure out what to say.

“Um, well, thank you. I assure you I’m not sad, and I would love to come over for dinner sometime just give me a ring.” Nice, sweet smile, there. She ignored the question about Jackson Marsh, she was not going to talk about him, wasn’t even sure if she could without crying.

Sarina was stronger and smarter than she originally gave her credit for because she didn’t stand up to leave. Instead, she leaned back her chair and gave her a saucy smile. “Would you perhaps be interested to know that I saw Jackson Marsh today?”

Vera flung herself into a sitting position, her ass nearly falling out of the chair as she tried to get closer to Sarina. “What, what do you mean? He was here. On Kategan land?” Panic, shock, hope, and excitement spun through her all at once. Stupid girl don’t get your hopes up.

Sarina leaned forward like she was about to divulge the juiciest of gossip. In a loud whisper she said, “He came by Vane’s today, or should I say tonight. He asked where Rome was and so on and so on, and then he asked about you.” She tossed her head back and pretended to fan away the heat from her face. “The man’s eyes were so hot when he talked about you I swear I had to crack a window. The man smoldered.”

Vera absorbed her words with a mixture of denial and stupid hope.

Sarina cocked an eyebrow and pretended to study her nails. “So would you like to know what else he asked about?”

Vera could only nod dumbly.

Sarina grinned from ear to ear. “He wanted to know where you lived. Said he needed to talk to you. Vane wouldn’t tell him either. Oh my god, you should have been there. It was awesome. I thought there was going to be a fight. Jackson got all angry-eyed and dark, even his scent smelled...different. Vane only told him after he fessed up about being changed into a vampire. Then there was this other thing that he promised me and Vane not to tell anyone about.”

Vera grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a little shake. “What promise? Tell me, please!” She didn’t hide the desperation in her voice. Her hands were shaking when she finally pulled them back.

Sarina cocked her head and smiled softly. “You love him, don’t you?”

Vera slumped in her seat with defeat and said miserably, “So much. He is my mate.” Sarina nodded, her eyes gentle and understanding.