“Who’s going to ride the Ferris wheel with me?” Katie asks, and Pete instantly accepts the invitation. Glancing back at her, I slyly smile and her eyes dart to the back of Camden’s head. Shaking my own, I turn around and focus on the road in front of me.

Once we pull up, Camden parks on the grass field and we all emerge with a carefree and fun energy. I haven’t felt this way in a really long time. We pay our fee and begin walking the narrow dirt pathways, passing games, farm animals, and food vendors. The smell of the fried dough circles in the air, enticing my feet to automatically follow its scent.

“Let me get it.” Camden pulls out his money after I order.

“Get me one, too,” Katie calls out, and Pete rushes over to hand Camden money.

“I got mine, guys,” I tell them, grabbing my wallet out of my purse.

“Please,” Camden requests, and there’s something unfamiliar in his eyes.

I begin to nod my head. “Okay,” I relent. Maybe I’m being too unfair to him. Maybe there could be something here if I would give it a chance.

“You, though, pay for your girl,” Camden inadvertently reveals Pete’s feelings for Katie, and I raise my eyebrows his way.

“Fucker.” Pete punches Camden’s arm, making Camden chuckle.

“It’s okay, I won’t say anything.” I touch Pete’s arm, and his body slowly falls out of the tense-filled one a second ago.

“Thanks, Chrissy.” I smile and walk over to join Katie at the picnic table with Camden joining me on my side while Pete takes a seat next to Katie.

Suddenly, it’s beginning to feel like a double date, instead of four friends out for fun. Remnants of powdered sugar are on our fingers, our clothes, and the table by the time we finish. Piles of napkins on top of the paper plates with grease rings get tossed in the trashcan, and we find our way over to the Ferris wheel.

Camden’s body inches closer to mine while we wait in line. His arm finding its way behind me, his fingers grazing the small of my back. Although it’s not making my stomach flip uncontrollably, it’s comforting. There’s something about him that may sway me to be more than friends. Who needs all those racing hearts or tingly touches?

Getting on the Ferris wheel, it’s close quarters and Camden doesn’t mind closing the space between us. Swinging his arm around my shoulders, he slides closer so we’re thigh to thigh. My body seems to be warming up to him. No somersaults like Dex, but I’m getting a few light flutters.

I enjoy my time with Camden. He tells me about some customer that came in last night, pulling uncontrolled laughter out of me at his impersonation. Pete keeps rocking their seat in front of us, and Katie continually screams at him. Eventually, my cheeks hurt from laughing so hard, and the thought that maybe this is where I belong arises. That this is where I fit in.

The ride slows and our chair moves down stop by stop. We finally reach the bottom and Pete and Katie stand outside the gates waiting for us. Camden gets out first and holds his hand out for me. I catch his eyes roam up and down my legs as I climb out. Linking our hands together, he guides me through the make-shift metal fence. Opening it for me, he smiles down at me and the flutter picks up speed a little more.

Paying attention to Camden, beginning to see something maybe I’ve been ignoring, I don’t hear another voice until Camden squeezes my hand tighter. When I look up, he nods his head and I follow his vision. Without warning, my stomach somersaults out of control and my heart picks up at a frantic pace. Those blue eyes entrance me just as they always have.

Dex’s eyes glance down at my fingers locked within Camden’s, and I begin to relax my grip, but Camden clamps onto mine tighter. My vision wavers to Camden whose eyes are dead set on Dex. I wonder if he feels this electric current like I do and he’s acting territorial?

Dex shoves his hands in his pockets when he reaches us. “Hey, Chrissy,” he softly says, obviously remembering our last encounter.

“Hey, Dex.” Staring behind him, I find his group of friends. Even that Tori girl from his mom’s wedding a few years ago. They’re all put together in their new designer clothes and clean cut haircuts. “This is Camden, Pete, and Katie,” I introduce them, and everyone nods their heads toward one another.

“Hi,” he says to them, but the only one who responds is Katie.

“Well … hello to you … Dex,” she remarks, her voice etched with seduction. “Ouch,” she says, turning toward Pete who desperately tries to non-verbally tell her something.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” he asks me, and I don’t even debate it in my head.

“Yes,” I answer and pull away from Camden’s tight hold on my hand. “I’ll be right back,” I tell them, and Camden’s eyes fixate on Dex.

We walk over to the benches, and I see sets of eyes from his group and mine on us the whole way. “I wanted to say, I’m sorry,” he says, his head hanging low.

“Me too,” I tell him. “But, Dex—”

“No, Chrissy. Please, don’t lecture me again,” he requests, and I quickly back down. “I just wanted to apologize, the things I said were shitty.”

“Okay,” I mumble, “I’m sorry, too.”

“How have things been?”

“Busy. Graduation is next week. How about you?”

“I graduated last week. I’m heading to Western in the fall. Are you going anywhere?” he asks, hesitantly. I’m sure amongst his friends, it’s as common of a question as a waitress taking a customer’s drink order. But out here, it’s not usually even brought into conversation.

“I’m going to SCC, community,” I admit, and he nods his head slowly.

“That’s good,” he says, although I know how lame it sounds to someone who gets to go to a university.

“It is what it is.” My eyes shift to Camden, who tries to hold a conversation with Katie and Pete, but I catch him glancing over. I wish I wanted him half as much as my body’s desperate need for Dex.

“Do you want to maybe get together for dinner or something?” He leans against the bench, propping one foot up. I can’t help but stare at his strong tanned legs, arms and just his overall amazing body. His blonde hair is a little spiked, and he’s become even manlier than six months ago.

“Sure,” I answer, knowing full well it probably won’t happen, although, I kind of wish it will.

“DEX!” one of the guys screams. When Dex glances back, the guy waves him over and points to the game area.

“I guess I better get going,” he says and quickly wraps his arms around my body. He brings me to that warm, safe place my body craves, but before I can really relish the feeling, he’s backed up from me.

“Okay, well, message me or something,” I instruct him, watching him back away toward his group of friends.

“I will. Bye, Chrissy.” He waves his hand, flashing that wide smile my way before turning around and venturing back over to his friends.

“Bye,” I respond, giving a small wave of my hand. Watching someone walk away that you care so much for, as a friend and maybe more, is harder than I thought. Our lives are too different, going in directions too opposite to ever remain on the same path. It was always inevitable, but this time, there’s more of a finality to our friendship. One problem is thinking that I’ll never see Dex again, and it pricks my heart a little more than I’d prefer.

Fifteen minutes later my friends’ path crosses Dex and his. As his friends joke around with one another, girls screaming in laughter from the guys jokes, my vision is solely on him and his on mine. Automatically I want to run into his arms, have him hold me and let him take care of me. But his one friend pulls him away and our eyes unlock, and I’m thrown back to our reality. How do I love someone so much that I’d rather lose in order for them to gain more than I can give?

He talks for a second and then looks our way again. Desperately wanting to tear my eyes from his, I excuse myself to go get a lemonade. As I’m pulling my money out, his hand stretches in front of me and I can feel his chest against my back. Closing my eyes to compose myself, and maybe calm my erratic heart before turning around, praying like hell I can keep it together.