“He didn’t.” My shoulders deflate while my body goes numb. How could my dad actually put me, or my body up to settle a score?

“Oh, but he did. Come on baby, I’ve been waiting a long time for this and I’m not really up for your hard-to-get act.” His face slowly starts coming my way as I back my head up further.

Thinking of nothing better, my knee slams between his legs using as much force as I’m able. Nico bends down, his hands cupping himself while screaming obscenities at me. I’m glad I’ve never fully unpacked when I grab my one bag and purse leaving the apartment. My feet slip on the stairs from rushing so fast but I catch myself with my hands on the railings. Never looking back, I run onto a bus that’s picking people up. I scramble to find the money in my purse, the driver sensing something’s wrong, waits patiently for me and then pulls off the curb. And now here I am …

I don’t even notice the vibrating in my purse until Sadie turns around and her eyes dart to my lap where my purse rests, clutched in my fists. Unzipping the top, I pull my phone out and Dex’s name appears.

Dex: Everything okay?

Me: Yeah.

He probably wants to make sure I keep my mouth shut about his alternate life. It disappoints me that he allowed me to be shoved in the car with the girls. I had wanted to tell him what was going on. Explain the reason for my sudden reappearance after four years.

Dex: We’ll be there soon.

The thought that maybe he’s feeling guilty for deserting me with the two girls in the front seat puts a small smile on my face. Right before I realize it’s probably because he didn’t realize the conversation I could have had with them. Girls are nosey and usually dig until they reveal the truth. Which surprises me with these two, because they let it go fairly quick.

Can't Let Go _20.jpg

SOON, CITYSCAPE IS left behind when farms and countryside fill the windows of the car. Jessa follows Brady’s Camaro down a long driveway and parks in front of a four-car garage. If I thought I was out of my league before, I’m certain I am now. I had thought Dex’s mom’s house was enormous, but this one is on a whole other scale. A dark, almost old but modern house rests in the middle of open land. It resembles something an architect would design and definitely doesn’t fit the mold of the other farm houses we passed getting here.

The girls step out of the car, giggling about something I never heard. All the guys wheel their expensive luggage while Dex swings my ripped duffle bag across his shoulder. He stays back with me, allowing the foursome to lead the way.

When the door opens, a guy a little more like I’m used to smiles down at all of us. Here’s a guy like back home. Short dark hair, tattoos inked across his body, and small gages in his ears. They all shake hands or hug each other, showing how close friends they all are.

After all the hellos to everyone he knows, his eyes find mine. “Hey, I’m Trey.” He introduces himself, holding his hand out for me to shake.

Slowly untying my fingers from nervously playing with my purse strap, I hold my hand out. “Chrissy,” I answer, and Dex comes to my side. His hand rests on the small of my back igniting a surge of electricity shooting up my spine.

“Sorry, Chrissy’s an old friend,” he adds.

Trey gives me a welcoming smile. “Welcome,” he greets, and I actually calm a little bit from his gracious demeanor.

Following everyone else into the kitchen, the girls take seats on the stools while the guys stand behind them. Something isn’t like the other rings in my head. Leaning against the counter to keep a distance, I silently listen to his friends catch up.

“Hopefully that wide grin means you won her back?” Dex says, clasping his friend’s shoulder as beers and drinks slide around the kitchen island.

“Yeah, she can’t deny this gorgeous face for that long,” Trey jokes and they all laugh.

“Hmm … always conceited.” A shorter brunette walks in and everyone turns around to her voice. I, on the other hand, can’t take my eyes off of Trey. I’ve never in my life witnessed a man so elated from a girl’s appearance in a room. His eyes follow her around as she greets everyone, and his tongue licks his lips when she turns his way. When she wraps her arms around his waist, nuzzling into him more, he closes his eyes briefly, as though saying an extra prayer that she’s his.

“I have to take it where I can. It’s hard not being the gorgeous one between us two,” he compliments her, and she shrugs it off. I’m not sure I’ve ever had anyone say something remotely romantic like that to me.

“Good one,” she says, rolling her eyes and a pink flush stains her cheeks.

“Let’s leave these guys and have some girl talk. I’m entirely pissed off at you for not waiting to get your nails done until we got here.” Jessa teases the brunette, pointing at her with her already polished nail. Glancing down at my own, I wince at my out grown cuticles and erratic chipped lines from my constant biting.

“Come on, guys, we can go outside,” Trey says, waving them toward the screen door. “Where are the girls?” He peers down at her and asks. They have kids? Maybe I’m not so out of my league here.

“Outside playing with your parents and Derek. Aunt Holly and Uncle Clyde are upstairs resting.” She raises her eyebrows multiple times.

He bends down and whispers something in her ear, making her face light up like she’s seeing fireworks for the first time in her life.

As the guys leave, Dex glances back one more time before following.

“Later, Michaels.” Jessa tosses her hand in the air.

“You must think I’m horrible.” The brunette rushes over to me. “I’m Kailey,” she introduces herself and wraps her arms around my shoulders. When I don’t reciprocate, but rather stand there stiff, she pulls back. “Sorry, I’m just really happy right now. I didn’t mean to overstep your personal space,” she practically whispers, and a small smile crosses my lips. She’s nice and kind. My shoulders relax a little with her presence. “Come on over to the island.”

Kailey catches up with the two other girls, answering their stream of twenty questions. From what I can gather, she and Trey had recently split up. This is his parents’ house, he took her to some tree house last night and now they are happy again. Even with Jessa’s persistence, Kailey shyly shakes her head back and forth not giving any details.

After the gossip session, Kailey shows us out to the porch that opens up to more open land. A swing set to the left, a fire pit to the right. Two little girls run around the yard, blowing bubbles while a smaller boy waddles around in the grass as a woman, I assume is Trey’s mom, follows closely behind. They have three kids? Shit, I can’t even imagine. No wonder they weren’t talking for a while.

Leaning against the side of the pergola, the girls scream and cheer on at the two smaller girls tickling Dex. The sun streaming down on my face between the wooden slants, I watch Dex, so carefree and fun. Trey’s eyes veer to mine, and I instantly turn them back down to the ground. He jumps up, and the pit of my stomach fears he’ll come over and try to engage me, but instead he joins the masses. A few minutes go by with laughter shrieking throughout the yard. When everyone stands, Dex’s eyes find mine immediately and the smile falls from his face. That’s when I realize, this is the last place I should be. He has his life, and me showing up in his perfect shell is unfair.

Already regretting my decision to call Dex in the first place, I keep my distance for the remainder of the night, allowing him to have fun with his friends. He doesn’t engage me very much, only telling me even more that he wishes I wouldn’t have invaded his perfect life. By the time we go to bed, we venture into the room that is reserved for the two of us. I guess when you come with so many couples, it negates the whole guys in this room, girls in the other equation.


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