She almost thanked him for giving her heat and light. She could see his dark face so much better now.

He took a seat by the fire, set his swords on either side of him within easy reach, and then he pulled something out of his pocket and tossed it to her. She caught it without thinking and instantly groaned at what she saw. A hunk of meat. She tore into it with relish.

How did he do that?

Here she’d been contemplating, no, planning to leave him and he managed to stride back into her life and dominate it. He’d manage to give her heat, light, and food within five minutes. Damn, she didn’t know if she loved or hated him right now.

“I was going to mate with her.”

And…. just like that she felt like she’d been socked in the gut with a massive fist. Her stomach churned, threatening to spew up the little bite of food she’d taken. “What’s mating?” She had a pretty clear idea from the word, but she had to be sure.

“I was going to bond myself to her. I had her previous engagement annulled so I could have her.”

“What happened?” To her, she left off the question. Something had happened, something bad, she could feel it in the waves of tension surrounding him.

He let out a hallow laugh. “She died. What do you think happened? She died trying to save me. That damn woman!” He scrubbed a hand across his face, then threaded his fingers through his hair tugging on the hard locks.

She winced, half-expecting to see the strands snap under his harsh grip.

“You loved her,” Abby said over the tight grip on her heart. Each word hurt to say. It hurt even more to think about. “She must have loved you to do what she did.”

His eyes met hers and an odd look rolled over them. A flicker of doubt maybe? “I don’t know if she did or not. She must have cared enough or she wouldn’t have jumped in front of me to take the spell that would have killed me.”

He didn’t even sound certain. Abby’s eyebrows flew up. “Who was casting the spell to try to kill you?” she asked gently.

“My brother.”

“Oh,” she said quickly, not knowing quite what to say to that.

He waved his hand at her shaking his head. “I don’t blame him now. I did. I did for a long time especially after he dethroned me from the crown and banished me from my homeland. No, it was only once I was out in the endless wastes of this forsaken place that I was left to my thoughts. Maybe I did too much thinking, but it wasn’t his fault.

I would have done the same thing in his place. Arianna was the only loose end. She should have been up above in her room. Stupid woman...what was she thinking? I couldn’t even save her,” his voice drifted off becoming soft and hoarse. “I should have but I couldn’t.” He sounded so lost she wanted to do or say anything to get that ragged look out of his voice.

“There’s nothing you could have done, I’m sure.”

Distaste twisted his lips into snarl. Suddenly he slammed his feet to the ground and stood in a rush, his hands balled tight at his sides. “I could have saved her! I could have fixed her!” His shout probably could have been heard halfway across the rift.

Abby swallowed hard. “How?” She kept her voice gentle and soft as if she was talking to a hurt animal.

He held his hand out in front of him watching it. Turning it over, he gazed at his palm with an eerie look in his eyes. A wild, crazed look came over him.

“The blood, the royal blood in my veins touches my magic. It heals.” Slowly, he kept turning his hand over and over, over and over.

She could feel the chill of his magic emanating from his hand. “How can you heal?” Healing magic was a tremendous and rare gift, or at least among witches it was. It usually required a variety of tools at the witch’s side: herbs, healing potions, and spells. Of course, what did she know? She stopped practicing a long time ago and both she and her mother considered themselves ‘grey’ witches—that left them somewhere in the middle on the magic scale.

Abby thought back, but couldn’t remember ever meeting a ‘white witch’. They must be rare. But in Alrik’s case he was demon. She’d already learned that the magic differences between humans and demons were great. Even some of the rogue demons, well, all of them had magic powers. However, Aidan the vampire did not.

“How does your healing work?”

He laughed as if she said something funny.

That’s it. She’d had enough of his moping. Abby stood and waited until his eyes met hers, then slowly walked up to him. He eyed her warily. With a quick move, she sat in front of him, right on his thighs with her back to his chest. He tensed beneath her, but as she leaned into his strong chest his body slowly relaxed. She could feel the tension leaving him.

“Spread your legs,” she whispered. Heat flared inside her at her own daring.

But, he did. He spread his muscled, hard thighs letting her fit between his legs. Strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her further into his strong, warm chest. A soft sigh escaped her.

“You shouldn’t have left me,” he said in her ear. His voice was deep, husky. A shiver raced down her body.

“Why? It’s not like you didn’t find me anyway.”

His cheek pressed up against hers, warming her cold one, and creating an ache inside her. An ache to turn her head so their lips would line up and he’d be kissing her. Her heartbeat picked up, rapping faster against her ribs. She was suddenly rather warm in his arms.

“You can’t ever leave me, Abbigail.”

The sincerity in his voice made her heart skip a beat. “What?”

He tightened his arms around her as if to prove a point. “The seer should have told me. I had no idea it’d be like this.” His arms tightened more, nearly cutting off her air. “Do you know how hard it’s been watching you crawl into a space inside me that even Arianna never touched?”

Her breath hitched. “What?” Her vocabulary had apparently diminished down to one word questions.

“I-I can’t go through with it. I can’t do it. I can’t risk it.” He sounded as if talking to himself.

“Alrik, what are you talking about?”

He shook his head, knocking hers in the process. “I can’t do it. I can’t put you in danger. If I did it, again...I could never live. Never, ever.” He was whispering now, his voice hoarse.

Abby spun around in his arms, plastering her chest to his, her hands in his hair, bringing their lips close. She stared into his eyes. The raw pain she saw made her heart ache.

“What are you talking about?” He shook his head and she tightened her grip in his hair. “Answer me, honey, please.” Something big was happening here, she just didn’t know what exactly. But, she was finally going to find how what had guilt eating him up inside.

“I can’t do it. You’ve made me care.” Wetness formed at his eyes.

She couldn’t have been more shocked if he struck her right now.

A single tear slid down his dark cheek. Yet his expression was stoic and distant, his eyes not meeting hers. “You’ve made me love again, and I can’t do it. I can’t put you in danger.”

Her heart leapt flying high as a bird, but still the words were surrounded in agony. “Honey, what are you talking about?” She wrapped her legs around his waist, looped her arms around his shoulders. She pressed kisses to his cheeks and along his straight nose. “Please, just talk to me.”

God, something huge was happening but she didn’t know what to say or do to take the pain out of his voice. She wanted to focus but she was still floating on high after his subtle declaration.

He loves me.

One strong arm snaked around her waist and his hand slid up under her shirt. Her breath caught at the skin on skin contact. “Alrik?” She held him tighter as she pressed her face into his warm neck.

“She wins. I’ll never be who I was. She’s won. I can never lift this curse.”

He sounded defeated, and she winced.