“Jessa?” I ask baffled on her conclusion. “She’s my best friend, Kailey, that’s all.”

“It didn’t seem like that. Not that it’s an excuse for ignoring you and flirting with Dex. That was wrong of me. But I can’t help thinking Jessa is an unattainable prize you’ll always desire.” She backs away from me, turning to face the lake again.

“You have it all wrong. Jessa’s with Grant and, believe me, I have no interest in her, I never have,” I attempt to reassure her while slowly stepping toward her at the same time.

She faces me and a tear falls from her right eye. How the hell did we get here? “It’s not the point, really. I mean, if you want her, it’s none of my business. It’s not like we’re anything.” There she goes again, looking me dead in the eye, so I know she’s convinced herself to believe what she’s saying.

“I thought we might be on our way to somewhere,” I admit, embarrassed.

“I’m sorry, Trey, but we weren’t. I can’t have more complications right now. I just can’t,” she tries to put a finality to the conversation. I’m still trying to grasp that she was going to use me, but I don’t want her to end whatever this is. Regardless, I’m not about to come off like a desperate twelve-year-old boy begging a girl to be his.

“Then I’ll take you back to your aunt and uncle’s,” I say, turning around to go to the car.

“Trey—if things were different,” she attempts to plead her case, but at this point I could care less.

“It’s fine, Kailey, just get in.” I don’t wait for an answer, but instead slide into the car. She opens her door and sits quietly next to me. I’m sure my nostrils are doing that flaring thing everyone tells me they do when I’m angry. Since it’s a rare occasion for me to be so thoroughly pissed off, I don’t recognize it first-hand.

We make the ten minute drive in silence. When I pull up the driveway, the porch light is on, like every other night. I thought for sure this would be the night she granted me permission to kiss her, but it took a very different turn—a turn for the worse. I wait silently in the driver’s seat, eyes focused forward. From the corner of my eye, I can tell her hand is on the door handle while her eyes remain on me.

“Trey?” she sighs, but I sit there, ignoring her existence. “Fine, if this is the way you want it.” She opens the door and starts escaping the tense confines.

“Oh no, Kailey, you were the one that wanted it this way,” I sneer, and she slams the car door.

I watch her open the door and walk into her aunt and uncle’s house. “Fuck!” I slam my fist onto the steering wheel.

Chapter 4

The drive back to Jessa’s is excruciating to say the least. If the roads weren’t so icy and dangerous, my foot would be slammed against the gas petal, plunging ahead at warp speed along these curves. I can’t believe she was going to use me. What the fuck? I use girls, not the other way around. I’m half tempted to turn this car around and show her exactly how to use someone for a fuck. I could show her a move or two, and at least then I’d enjoy myself for the mere minutes I would last. But no, I had to go and do the thing I swore I’d never do again; I had to fall for her and that’s exactly the reason I’m keeping my ass in this car to go home and sleep...alone.

Not wanting to face everyone, since I’m pretty sure they’d all be back from dinner by now, I turn the wheel in the opposite direction as Jessa’s parent. When I come across the bend where I just sat with her only minutes ago, I pull the car over. Throwing my hoodie over my buzzed head, I sit on the edge of the mountain, with my arms resting across my knees. Staring across the open space to the other side of the mountain, my mind begins to wander. Why is Kailey pulling this old version of me out? What is it about her that’s so different than all the other conquests I’ve had? Why is she so god damn special?

The one constant discovery that keeps recycling through me is a gut feeling buried deep under my ‘I couldn’t-give-a-fuck’ exterior. That’s all I’m going on, which sucks, because I guess her gut isn’t in line with mine. Her body language speak volumes, which her mouth constantly contradicts. This girl has my insides so twisted, I’m contemplating the urge to say fuck the whole thing and disappear out of her life. But, then when I think about not seeing her again, not touching that long brown hair, or not being able to look into those alluring green eyes my heart wrenches. It’s in this moment, I realize, I can’t go anywhere. Unfortunately, that leaves me in the here and now, where she wants nothing to do with me except to use me for a cheap fuck in order to forget whatever the hell her problems are for two seconds. Well, let’s be truthful—I’m good for at least fifteen minutes.

By the time I climb back in the car, my hands, feet, and face are numb from the cold wintery air blasting around me. Turning the heat on high, I let the tingling sensation hit my fingertips before I ease the car back onto the road. Plugging my phone into the audio port, I allow “Change Your Mind” by The Killers to flood the speakers. My fingers automatically begin tapping to the drum sequence across the steering wheel, letting myself get lost in the one thing that’s a double edge sword between feeling and forgetting—music.

The house is dark, except for the kitchen light when I pull in the driveway. Since, I’m usually coming back at dawn, I hope I can find my way to my bedroom. I just need to crash, sleep, and forget about the girl who’s slowly causing me to rediscover a part of myself I thought was gone forever. Using Mr. Harrison’s key, I unlock the front door and tiptoe inside. Once I close the door and quietly cross through the foyer, I hear voices. Brady ventures out of the kitchen with a small nod and smirk. How ironic, he thinks I scored. When in actuality, I just got screwed a very different way.

Going to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, I’m surprised to find Grant leaning against the counter, contemplating something of his own. I’m starting to think we’re all a bunch of fucked up guys. Maybe we should change the band name to Fuckedupables instead of Invisibles.

Acting like a bunch of chicks, I spill my problems to him. Then a look of shock and amusement crosses his face. “Shit, are you fucking kidding me? Trey Michaels is falling?” His voice rises with pure astonishment, and I push my arms down in the air, telling him to quiet down. I’m just not sure if it was to not disturb the sleeping, or to stop the words coming from his mouth.

“I might have already fallen,” I admit, twirling the bottle around in my hand. Although it’s easy for me to admit this, all the other bullshit about her only wanting me for my body is staying under lock and key. This whole guarding your emotions thing sucks, maybe girls have the right idea.

“Give her time. Remember, it’s only been four days.” He attempts to assure me.

“I just wish I could eradicate her from my mind, obliterate any memory of her.” I shake my head back and forth, sucking my stud piercing into my mouth, as if I can shake her presence out of my head. “I think I have to go get a tattoo tomorrow. That should calm me.” I display my fakest smile, as though a tattoo would fix this invasion she’s executed in my happy carefree life.

We’re about to venture out of the room when I stop him in the doorway. “Hey, can I ask you a question?”

“What?” He turns around.

“Were you ever jealous of me and Jessa? Our friendship, I mean?” I ask him Kailey’s concern from earlier.

“Are you shittin’ me? Of course.” He laughs, making it unclear if that’s a good thing or bad. “You guys are pretty tight, but in the end, I’m happy she has you. You give her things I can’t.”

“But you give her what she wants and needs,” I add, because I honestly never felt anything for Jessa other than friendship. I temporarily distract her from her problems with Jack and partying, whereas, Grant heals her. That’s the difference between a best friend and boyfriend, at least when it comes to me and Jess.