I hurriedly stand, straightening my dress after I release myself from the comfort of Trey’s love. Following me to the door, his steps echo through the small space. He grabs my wrist to hold me in place. I sigh. “Trey, I need to get back out there,” I tell him, but he pulls me closer.

“They can wait five minutes, Kailey. Please, let me be there with you,” he begs, already knowing my heart is lost in some dark tunnel without a flicker of light. It’s wounded and broken, so my brain has taken over, translating to me pushing everyone out.

“Trey, thank you for coming, but you can leave now,” I say coldly with no emotion. He can’t be tied down with me, he needs to go and live a life I can no longer be a part of.

“No, Kailey, I’m not leaving.” He stands firm, planting his feet. Uncontrollable anger starts brewing in my veins. I’m mad he won’t listen to me and just disappear. Can’t he see it’s the best for him to forget us?

My hand rests on the lock; ready to twist it open when he steps forward. He turns me around to face him and cages me between his arms against the door. “Trey,” I argue, but he presses his lips to mine and an immediate raging desire seeps into my every pore. As much as my body screams to him, anger still lingers that he’s forcing me to be callous and cruel.

He places his hands on either side of my face, continuing to kiss me as though he’s starving for only my mouth. Instinctively, the irrational, live life in the moment Kailey that he easily pries out of me appears. Something only my sister and her family could accomplish until he came into my life. “Please,” he whispers, and my body starts to sway in his strong hold, as he travels his lips over to my earlobe and down my throat.

“Stop it, Trey, leave me alone,” I cruelly spout, placing my hands on his chest, trying to push him back, but he only grips tighter.

“You know you don’t want me to.” He trusts his keen instincts because they’re usually always right when it comes to me.

Trying to close myself off, I press my lips together when his graze across mine again before his tongue requests permission. But in the end, I’m not willing to deny myself, I open, allowing his familiar tongue to roam around my mouth and mingle with mine. The kiss feels safe and warm, like home. Ever since that fateful plane ride, I’ve felt as if Trey was a part of me. Recalling our first kiss; it was nothing like this. God! He ignited my whole body the first time his mouth pressed against mine. In those three minutes, he ruined me. No man would ever compare. But this, this is what I crave at night when I lay in bed all alone. It’s the familiarity of the one man who knows my lips, my tongue, and my body. My need of one man who continues to enjoy exploring every curve and nuance over and over again, as if he has discovered his own wonderland. When my thoughts unscramble, my lips and tongue are moving carelessly without retention of the real issue.

“Stop it, Trey.” This time, I use all my force to push him back. I’m torn if I’m happy, mad, or just sad. Sheer dejection fills his eyes, and suddenly remorse hits me. “We just can’t,” I softly say, shaking my head back and forth.

“Yes, we can,” he says, stepping forward, but I shake my head violently again. “What the hell, Kailey? All I want to do is love you,” his voice starts escalating, and I need to flee the room. His presence alone makes me jittery and uncontrolled. The sooner I leave, the sooner I can get myself stable again, back into my sealed bubble.

“I told you already, Trey.” I bite my lip, not wanting to lie again, but I will, if I have to.

“Don’t tell me that bullshit again. You and I both know it isn’t true.” He steps closer to me, and my weakness begins getting the best of me.

“Please, I need to get back out there,” I tell him, but he approaches again, pulling me to him similar to a child with their security blanket. I succumb to the haven of his embrace, mindlessly relishing the warmness of home.

“Kailey, it’s taking everything in me not to keep you right here, up against this door, until you admit you love me. I’ll let you leave this room, but don’t say you don’t love me again. I know you do, and no matter how hard you try to push me aside, I’m not leaving.” He releases me after his rant, and I unlock the door, fleeing the room.

I’m not two steps out the door before Chloe’s at my legs again. “Aunt Kailey, we’ve been looking for you,” she says, and I glance around spotting her brother and sister happily hopping on the couches while Caden’s aunt and uncle try to calm them down.

“I was—” Before I can finish she dashes past me.

“Trey!” she screams, and he scoops her up in his arms, smiling at her.

“Hey, C-lo, what’s been going on?” He raises his hand, and she gives him a high five.

“My mommy died,” she says to him, and my heartbreaks. Trey glances my way before returning his attention solely to Chloe.

“I heard, but you know what? She’s with the angels now, and you know what angels do, remember?” he asks her, and I briefly wonder if they had a previous conversation about this fateful day.

“They watch us,” she says in the most adorable voice. Clearly Trey has indeed been filling her in.

“That’s right, so where’s your mom right now?” he asks her, and she circles her arms through the air around her head.

“Right again. Your mom is around you all the time,” he reminds her, and I swallow deep, trying to keep a new set of tears at bay. Not being able to take seeing how wonderful Trey is with them anymore, I escape further into the room, cringing at the sight. It was easier when I didn’t have to observe the room of death from this angle.

When I walk through the open double doors, I feel the eyes shift in my direction, and I hear the faint whispers of guests explaining to others how I’m the aunt. When Trey follows close behind with Chloe in his arms, I swear the whispers become louder. “He’s the boyfriend. I doubt he’ll stick around. Just look at him.” I hear someone attempting to discreetly gossip to another. Rolling my eyes, I continue on my way to the front of the room and take my spot next to the casket to greet the new mourners.

As people encase their arms around me, my eyes ignore them and seek out Trey. He’s seated on the floor in the back of the room with the three kids. Drew sits in his lap while Chloe and Tara listen attentively to what he’s saying. Then they burst into a fit of laughter and Trey shushes them, pressing his hands down in the air, signaling to calm down, barely able to conceal his own chuckles. His smile catches me off guard, and my lips turn up at seeing the kids so happy. I don’t know why I expected any less; Trey has been good with them ever since the first day.

“I’m so sorry, Kailey,” a soft voice pulls me back to the waiting line. When my eyes shift, I notice Sadie and Brady waiting to hug me. Sadie’s warm arms wrap around me, and I almost lose my composure. If I hadn’t just cried a river with Trey moments ago, I would’ve been crying in her arms immediately. Brady’s next. He hugs me, telling me how sorry he is and if there’s anything I need, to let them know. I watch them make their way to the back of the room to join Trey and the kids, until I’m tapped on the shoulder by Jessa.

All I can catch is her small smile before her body pushes hard against me. “I’m sorry, Kailey,” she whispers, holding me so tight she restricts my breathing capacity. Grant chuckles lightly before gently pulling a very empathetic Jessa off of me. She quickly wipes her eyes attempting to conceal her obvious emotions. “I’m sorry, these damn hormones,” she remarks, playfully glaring at Grant. She looks so cute with her short, now brown hair. Her giggle is infectious, and soon I start. “Oh, I’m sorry, Kailey. I shouldn’t have made a joke,” she tells me, clearly concerned.

“Oh please, a little humor right now feels good,” I admit, and it honestly does. Caden’s parents disgustingly glance my way, but I could care less what they think. These are my friends, and they’ve been there for me during this whole ordeal. Where were they when we needed them most? Nowhere to be seen that’s for sure.