Tossing the diaper bag on the table, I whisper shh noises into Drew’s ear, attempting to keep him asleep. The girls had a play date down the street, and I’ve desperately been yearning for a nap myself. Between keeping the house going and continuing to be a girlfriend to Trey, I barely sleep. My normal routine involves taking care of the house and kids during the day. Then when Caden comes home, I go over to Trey’s, or he comes over here. He’s bonded with the kids, and if Caden has to work late, Trey always takes them to the park to give me a break. The guilt that his life has changed course since he met me hits me every time he steps through that door with a pizza in his hand and the kids go running to him. He should be going to the bars, still celebrating his graduation.

Today will be glorious, I think to myself as I lay Drew down, and he immediately turns to his side and sticks his thumb in his mouth. Turning on the monitor, I quietly vacate the room and shut the door behind me. I’m about to open my bedroom door to crawl into my bed when I spot Jen in her room on the floor. I stand in her doorway, watching her frantically placing papers in order here or there. She’s a meticulous organizer. “What’s up?” I say to her, and she barely glances up before her head is back down focusing on the papers and her hands flip through the pages in a frenzy.

“Kailey, oh thank God. I need you. Sit down,” she demands. I sigh, realizing I won’t be getting those few minutes of sleep today. I take a seat next to her and cross my legs. “Caden will be in no shape to deal with this. You have to take charge of the paperwork. Okay?” Her speaking is rambling a mile a minute and I can barely catch every word. “There’s the life insurance, the kids birth certificates and social security cards, all the financial accounts—,”

“It’s okay, Jen. I’ll handle it,” I place my hand on her forearm, and she looks up at me with tears in her eyes. “Oh, Jen. I promise, everything will be handled.” The tears prick behind my own eyes and the thought of escaping this room to allow them to freely fall deepens inside me. But I have to stay strong for her, for the family.

“I know you will. I’m so sorry, Kailey,” she softly says. “You’ve lost your youth to this. We’ve all lost something to this FUCKING disease,” she yells. I have no idea what I should do. Sitting there looking at the piles of paperwork spread across her bedroom floor, anger at the disease begins rising inside of me as well.

“Come with me,” I insist, standing up and holding my hand out for her to take. She gingerly leans her hand on the bed and rises to her feet. “Can you make it downstairs?” I ask.

“Just took my pain go away pills, so I’m good for a little while,” she says.

I hold her hand while we take one cautious step at a time. Escorting her to the garage, I sit her in a folding chair while I grab the white tarp and spread it across the concrete floor. “I’ve been meaning to do this, but time has been slim.” My fingertips grasp for the box, and I slowly lower it and walk it over to her feet.

“Mom and Dad’s old dishes?” she questions confused.

“Yep,” I answer, opening the box, I dig out their white china plates with yellow flowers and lace intricate designs.

“They loved these,” she says. “We can’t.” She shakes her head.

“They’re hideous, and you know it,” I grab a plate and throw it to the ground. Watching it shatter, a little piece of the anger and stress dissipates within me.

“KAILEY!” she screeches.

“Come on, Jen, it feels so damn good,” I say, nudging the plate in front of her.

She sighs a few times before ultimately taking the plate from my hands. “Think of everything you’re mad at, Jen. How unfair this whole thing is. Take it out on this damn china.” She stares up at me, contemplating her decision. Then she winds her arm behind her head and uses the small amount of strength she has to smash the china to the ground allowing it to shatter into thousands of pieces. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” I ask, and she holds her hand out for another plate.

I hand her the pieces one by one and a smile starts creeping across her face with each broken china piece. Every fifth one, or so, I smash one myself. By the end, we’re laughing at how much we hated those plates and how much our parents loved them when they bought them from an estate sale. After we finish, I go over to the outside fridge and hand her a bottle of water. Clinking the plastic bottles together, we sit and relax, both feeling a little more at peace. “Why did you ever keep these?” I ask her.

“I thought we would appreciate them someday. Maybe we needed to age to see their beauty,” she says, laughing at her own statement.

“There’s still nothing beautiful about them. What Mom and Dad saw, I have no idea?” I shake my head, laughing.

Then the garage door shuffles and begins to open. “Crap,” I yelp, springing to my feet to stop Caden. He immediately hits the breaks and puts the car in park. When he sees what we’ve been up to, he shoots us both a knowing smile. I’m reminded of when I first met him; how attractive I thought he was and how lucky Jen was to find him, even if I hated him. Caden to Jen is like Trey to me. Although they are drastically different in appearances, they both hold great regard to family and protect their loved ones fiercely.

Caden examines the piles of broken dishes and raises his eyebrows to us. “Any left?” he questions, and I search the box, finding one small saucer.

“Here.” I toss it to him, and he catches it. He places his keys in his pocket, smiles at Jen and then throws it against the concrete. Shrugging his shoulders, he walks over to Jen and bends down to kiss her.

“How’s my gorgeous wife?” he asks, and she beams at his words.

“Tired,” she softly replies, melting into his lips as they meet one more time.

“Well, then, I should take you to bed,” he drops his black bag and swiftly picks her up out of the chair. His hand rests on the doorknob before he tosses his head back my way. “You got this, right, Kailey?”

“Yeah. I think I’ll take Drew over to Trey’s for a bit. Girls are on a play date until five.”

“Thanks,” he sincerely acknowledges.

“Any—,” I say and the garage door shuts before I can finish.

Don’t people say not to wake a sleeping baby? Well, those people don’t have a dying sister who desperately needs to spend some quality time with her husband. Drew is a ball of sweat when I pick him up, but he nuzzles into my neck. We get to the minivan and I buckle him up. Thank god, he actually stays asleep. Oh how I envy him right now.

When we pull up, Trey’s car is in the driveway. I should’ve called or texted him to tell him I was coming, but I was in such a rush to leave Jen and Caden it didn’t cross my mind. Drew stirs and wakes up as soon as I unbuckle him out of his car seat. “Tr, Tr,” he asks.

“Yep, Trey’s house,” I tell him, pulling his hand out of my hair again. I think I’ve forgotten what my hair looks like not thrown up in a ponytail and actually brushed with a comb instead of my fingers.

“Kailey, hi,” Sadie opens the door and greets me. “Hi, Drew,” she says, tickling his stomach. He smiles widely at her. She immediately grabs him from my arms.

“Thanks,” I say.

“No problem. Come on in. Jessa and I are just doing the favors for the wedding.” I follow her into the living room. Small pieces of silver wrapping paper along with white and black ribbon and little boxes of chocolate occupy every inch of the floor.

“Oh, maybe Drew and I should go somewhere else,” I automatically worry. This would be his dream to tear all that paper up and ruin everything they’re doing.

“No way, we can figure something out. In the meantime, you can take my place while I take care of this adorable little man.” She scrunches her face into his, and he giggles before locking his hands into her hair. “Ouch,” she yells.