I say my goodbyes to everyone, and Trey silently begins to walk alongside of me as I leave the restaurant. The tension filled silence surrounds us, except the clicking of our shoes on the pavement. When we get to his car, he opens the door and hands me the keys. “I’ll get a ride with Dex.” I nod and climb in. The car purrs to life, and I roll the window down, wishing I could just speed away and escape.

“I love you,” he tells me, leaning in and giving me a chaste kiss on the lips.

“I love you too.” When I roll up the window and back-up as he rocks back on his heels with his hands stuffed in his pockets. I wonder if what we have is enough as I drive away.

I pull onto the road purposely leaving the radio off. The car contains only the sound of the engine and the tires on the road. Once I’m alone in my thoughts, the tears break through. Everything I’ve been holding in comes bursting out with sobs, screams, and palms beating the steering wheel. Why is life so fucking unfair?

Chapter 16

Trey

Seeing the taillights of my car pulling out of the parking lot fills me with dread that I’m not in it. I should of fucking driven her, but I’m pissed as hell. It was our night. One fucking night, and you couldn’t even give us that, I say looking up at the sky. I get it, Jen’s sick, and Kailey’s her sister. I wouldn’t expect her to do anything other than leave when she receives the phone call. It’s just I’m in desperate need to have her to myself if only for one damn night.

The guilt of disappointing her just like I did someone else years earlier starts to eat away at me before I even hit the doors of the restaurant. I open the door and the cool swish of air hits my face. Although everyone seems to be dancing and having a good time, there are a few currently watching my every move. The few who know why Kailey just left. The few who are now curious why the hell I’m still here. I wish I could answer them, but instead I snag the bottle of Jack from the bar and disappear through the back door.

Untwisting the bottle cap, I stare at the brick wall I just took her against less than a half hour ago. All of our times, float through my memory like a slideshow. Screw this. I stand up, leaving the bottle on the ground. My hand on the doorknob, I fling the door open to find Jessa standing there with keys dangling from her finger.

“Thanks,” I murmur before grabbing them and running out to the parking lot.

I have to check the keys twice, trying to figure out whose car they belong to, before smacking myself for not just hitting the panic button on the keyset to identify the car. Brady’s Camaro lights flash, and I jog over, hopping into the smooth leather seats. I pull out my phone and dial up Kailey, but it goes straight to her voicemail. I wish I could kick my ass for not asking her how serious it was that she left. If it is really bad, she would have said something, right? Shaking my head, I can kid myself all I want, but deep down she’d keep it from me, just to make sure I stayed. She’s so hell bent on me living the life she assumes I should. A life I don’t want any more if it doesn’t involve her.

When I see my car in the driveway, I finally release a relieved breath. Not for my car, but for her. Mrs. Altman’s climbing down the steps just as I’m walking up the drive.

“Hi, Trey. Don’t you look draper today,” her grandma voice shakes with her compliments. “Kailey too, she’s beautiful.”

“She is,” I agree, and she places her hand on my forearm, giving it a light squeeze.

“You’re a good guy, Trey.” She keeps going down the paved walkway, turning on the sidewalk. I watch for her to get into her house safely before going to the door. I’ve been here so often I have a key, but it’s on my keychain that’s currently in the house with Kailey.

Knocking softly, I spot her image walking toward the door from the window encased within the wood. She unlocks the bolt and stands in the doorway. “Hey,” I say, “can I come in?” She doesn’t answer, but steps out of the way. I walk in and grab her around the waist, pulling her to me. “I’m sorry you love a dickhead.” My lame ass attempt to end this with humor.

She doesn’t laugh. “You should have stayed. You belong there.”

“I belong here. Anywhere you are is where I’m supposed to be.”

She leans into me, and tears begin to fall. “What is it?” I ask her, pushing back and gripping her upper arms.

“Caden hasn’t called yet. They’re at the hospital again. It’s the third time in two weeks. I just know, Trey, I just know—,” her voice shakes, and sobs begin pouring out of her. “The t-t-time is c-coming,” she stutters, and I grab her as tight as I can get her against me. Holding her head against my chest, I attempt to soothe her, but it’s too late. Kailey holds everything in until she can’t hang on anymore, so I know she just needs a release.

I walk her through the living room and kitchen, positioning her on the couch in the family room. We sit in silence with only her labored breaths sounding the room. Eventually she collapses from exhaustion on my lap, and I pull a blanket down from the back of the couch and drape it over her. Loosening my tie, I slip my shoes off and turn on the television. My head falls back to the cushioned fabric with the light of the TV flickering in the darkness. All that I think about before my eyes lose the battle of sleep is, am I strong enough to get her through this?

I’m awoken by Drew’s babbling and Chloe’s voice talking to him. I slide out from under Kailey and head upstairs. Chloe is on a step stool, reaching in to grab Drew from the crib. “Whoa,” I say, rushing over to pick him up. Chloe loses her footing right before I snatch Drew from her arms.

“Trey, what are you doing here?” Chloe asks me while I make my way over to the changing table to change Drew’s diaper.

“Well, good morning to you too,” I joke, and she giggles.

“Did you sleep in Aunt Kailey’s room again?” The little imp caught me sneaking out of Kailey’s room one morning. Usually I wake up early and act like I slept on the couch. But the five year old private investigator caught me red handed in pajama pants and no shirt.

“No, I was on the couch,” I answer her, rubbing the top of her head. Her hairs spring up from the static cling. She rolls her eyes just like her aunt would do, they’re more alike than they realize.

With Drew in my arms, I instruct Chloe to go into her room. Turning on the television, I sit Drew in her lap to watch an episode of Dora. I escape into the hall and peer into Tara’s room. She’s at her closet, pulling out different shirts and pants out of the drawers and tossing them to the floor.

“Tara?” I walk into the room trying to figure out what in the hell she’s doing.

“Trying to find a dress. I want to wear a twirly dress.” She continues plucking every item out until she lands on a pink dress with green polka dots on it. I swear, who the hell designs clothes for kids? They’re always so bright and gaudy looking.

“You have to put the clothes back in the drawer,” I instruct her, but she just ignores me, changing her clothes. Deciding that will be an argument for later, I turn to make sure Chloe and Drew are okay. When I get to her room, they aren’t there. Just the blare of Dora and Boots shouting ‘No Swiper, no’ fills the room. By the time I get to the top of the stairs, Tara grabs my hand. At least her independence means, I don’t have to dig up clothes and beg her to get dressed.

I hear Kailey’s sweet voice before my feet hit the bottom of the stairs. When I reach the kitchen, she’s in her dress from last night mixing Drew’s oatmeal and pouring Chloe’s cereal. The girl amazes me. “Good morning,” I say and kiss her cheek. “I had dreams of slowly taking this dress off your body,” I whisper in her ear, and she shivers. I love it when I have that effect on her.