I lean closer, our noses almost touching. He mirrors my action, putting a hand on my cheek.

He shakes his head minutely. “What are you doing to me?” he breathes, his eyes never leaving mine.

I’m loving you, I think. But I can’t say that, so I show him instead. I close the small distance between us, pressing my lips to his. He groans softly, a sort of primal noise that begins in the back of his throat and makes my tongue quiver as it finds his. His other hand goes to my waist, to the place where I am scarred underneath all that pretty colored ink, and I shudder involuntarily. He moves the hand on my face to the back of my neck, pulling me closer, kissing me deeper. I feel like I am falling forever, but it is a good fall. It feels amazing.

It feels like I was born to love this man.

And yet, as I kiss him, as I love him, my heart drops. I freeze.

I shouldn’t be doing this.

For his sake, I can’t do this. If I let him kiss me like that it’s going to rip both of us apart, and we’re already both broken enough inside.

Jase feels me freeze and pulls back, panting slightly, frowning. “What’s wrong?” he asks softly.

I swallow thickly, angry and sad that our fleeting moment is gone.

What’s wrong? The battle within me is being fought like a bitter war, making my mind spin with possibilities. I’ve only just begun and I just want to be done already. An image of Dornan and his remaining sons burning a painful, fiery death as Jase and I watch on briefly flashes through my mind.

If only it were that easy.

“Everything,” I say, bursting into tears. I’m so, so tired, my body is still in some kind of shock and just to make a bitch feel even worse, I think it’s almost that time of the month. I’m a seesaw of emotions.

Jase’s expression turns from confused to worried, and he moves from the chair to sit next to me on the bed in one quick motion, never breaking our gaze.

He opens his mouth as if to say something, then thinks better of it. I’m so tired of lying; so sick of being strong.

My resolve falters as he guides my head to his chest. I lay it there willingly, clinging to him, because if I let go, I’m afraid of what might happen next.

Jase’s cell phone rings, breaking the silence. Reluctantly, he peels himself away from me and goes into the other room to answer it.

When he returns a few moments later, he isn’t pleased.

“Dornan’s on his way to get you,” he says, his words devoid of passion.

Did we really just kiss? Again? I can’t believe it. I can’t.

I look at the ground, swallowing sharply.

Don’t fucking cry, you can do this.

You have to do this for your family. For yourself.

Jase notices the look on my face and holds his hands out in question. “I don’t know what you want me to do,” he says, frustration written all over his beautiful face.

“I’m such an idiot,” I say honestly, as my eyes fill with tears. Jase’s face falls and he looks like he’s about to reach out and touch me, but instead he turns and stalks out of the room.

After a few minutes, I compose myself and find him out on the balcony. He’s holding onto the railing, fists clenched, knuckles turning white. He must have heard me, because he addresses me without turning around.

“You have to leave. The next time you piss him off, he’ll just kill you. Simple as that. You can’t stay here, Samantha.”

I swallow, tilting my head back, looking up at the sky as it turns pink and purple, the sun low on the horizon.

“I could help,” Jase says suddenly. “I could help you get out.”

I shake my head. “I can’t leave. I’m not leaving.”

Jase stalks over to me, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me. “He’s going to kill you, do you understand? Christ, it’s like history repeating itself.” His shoulders sag as he lets go of me, deflated.

“He won’t kill me,” I say, brushing tears from my cheeks. “Not yet.”

Jase’s face turns stony and closed again, and I can only imagine the years he’s spent being shut down, being wailed on by his brothers, being fucked around by Dornan. I wonder how many graves he’s had to dig for his father, how many drugged bitches he’s had to pay off, or whatever, to make sure they didn’t go to the police and end up dead. And I know he can’t help himself. He’ll keep saving the stupid girls who come to the Gypsy Brothers clubhouse looking for protection and ending up with a gun to their head or a knife in their thigh.

But he won’t want to save me, not after I’m finished. Not after I’ve destroyed his entire family.

He might not get along with his brothers, but they’re all he’s got. And when I’m finished, he’ll have nothing.

My heart skips a beat, just one, as I allow myself to think for a moment what would happen, right here and now, if I just told Jase the truth. About who I really am and what I’m really doing here. He’d be mad, sure, but after that? Would he care? And if we ran? If we left this place and took my money and just ran, would I be able to sleep again, knowing he was with me?

“He will,” Jase says with conviction. “Just when you least expect it, he’ll be there. And it’ll be the end for you.”

“You don’t understand,” I say to him. It’s almost like I’m begging him to understand even though I won’t tell him what.

He shakes his head. “If you change your mind, let me know. He’s here.”

He points down at the parking lot in front of the building, where Dornan is pulling in on his Harley, the sunset casting a dull gleam on the polished black metal and chrome.

We stand there motionless, watching from afar as Dornan parks his bike and disappears into the stairwell below us.

I start to cry again. Jase remains stone faced. “Pull yourself together,” he hisses.

“It’s that fucking morphine you gave me,” I hiss back, wiping my cheeks and rushing inside, towards the bathroom, where I can wash my face and compose myself.

So of course, I almost scream when I collide blindly with a hard chest covered in leather.

It’s him.

I look up, those tears still fresh in my eyes, to see Dornan’s black eyes staring back at me, piercing straight through me. I freeze as he looks suspiciously from me, to Jase, then back to me.

“What the fuck did I just walk into?” he asks.

I fling myself at his chest and stand on tiptoes, planting little kisses on his cheek. “I thought you weren’t coming back for me,” I say breathlessly. “I missed you so much.”

Jase closes the door to the balcony with a heavy thud. “She hasn’t stopped whining about how much she missed you for the entire day,” he snarls at his father. “Next time, I’m going to gag her.”

Dornan breaks out into peals of laughter that reverberate against my chest and make my insides fill with dread. He tilts my head up and kisses me, the longest, most passionate kiss I’ve experienced from him. It still doesn’t even mildly compare to the intensity of the fleeting kisses Jase and I shared.

It isn’t even in the same fucking universe.

Dornan breaks away from me, and I catch my breath, avoiding Jase’s stare. “I gotta shower,” he says. “Been on that bike for too fucking long. You,” he stabs a finger into my chest, “ better meet me in there in five.”

He plants one last lingering kiss on my mouth before turning and walking into the bathroom. A moment later, I hear the shower running.

“You’re an excellent actress,” Jase says behind me, every word measured and deliberate. I turn, wiping the back of my hand against my mouth—wiping Dornan away. Jase’s eyes are cold, his arms folded across his chest as he studies me, the look of disgust on his face impossible to miss. I am deeply troubled that he is already seeing through the façade that Dornan is oblivious to, but at the same time, I am secretly relieved. Because if he knows it’s a lie, maybe he’ll still want me, as crazy and fucked-up as that sounds.