“There you are,” a gorgeous brunette in an impossibly short skirt said. “I’ve been waiting for quite a while.”

She looked familiar. Sed was certain he’d fucked her a couple of times, but couldn’t remember her name. “I could use a beer.”

“No problem.”

She returned less than a minute later with a cold beer and a warm smile. “You don’t remember me, do you?”

“Yeah, I remember you. I’m not good with names, though.”

“Jillian.”

He nodded, still not able to place her, and took a long draw from the beer bottle. “I’m going to go get warmed up now.”

“Can I help you with that?”

“Not unless you plan on making me scream for twenty minutes.”

“That was my plan, actually.”

Sed paused, considering her offer. He knew he’d be back to his old ways eventually. Trying to bury the pain of Jessica’s absence by putting his dick in any warm female recess that would accommodate it, but not yet. The thought of fucking another woman left him cold.

“Not tonight, Jillian.”

He chugged his beer and ate a few pieces of red licorice. The glycerol helped keep his vocal cords lubricated and they seemed to need it a lot recently. He warmed up. First with low growls and then worked his way up the octaves to get his voice ready for the punishment of singing a live show. His cords were getting tired. He needed a couple of days off. He could really feel the difference in his voice after doing several concerts in a row. Tonight was their last show for a week, but he’d be in the studio for several days and the repeated takes brutally punished his throat. He needed to stop screaming so much and sing more, but the fans had come to expect his style.

Before long, the rest of the band arrived and then a roadie called them to the stage. Sed tried to get excited enough to perform, but he felt mostly numb. He hoped Jessica’s first day of class had been better than his miserable, lonely day.

Jessica stood outside the concert venue, wondering why she’d driven over three hours to see a man who didn’t want her. She still wanted him. She couldn’t explain why.

Jake, one of Sinners’ roadies, raced past the barrier and climbed into the truck that held the band’s equipment. He emerged seconds later with a length of cord. He glanced up and caught sight of Jessica. His eyes widened with surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Do you want to come inside?”

She nodded.

Jake drew her around the barrier, talked their way through security, and left her in the corridor that led to the stage. She could hear Sed singing onstage in the stadium. The shouts of the crowd and the band’s music were just background noise. God, she loved him. Missed him. She had to see him. Even if he didn’t want to see her. She’d stay out of sight and just watch him. It would be enough.

She crept behind the stage and squatted next to the drum kit. Eric stumbled over a beat. She glanced up to find Eric staring down at her in confusion. She pressed a finger to her lips. She just wanted to see Sed. She didn’t even want him to know she was there.

Eric shrugged slightly and continued to pound his drums and cymbals with his typical enthusiastic flair.

Jessica couldn’t take her eyes off Sed as he paced the front of the stage, singing, screaming, growling, raising his hands in the air to encourage the crowd.

Why can’t I let him go? He doesn’t want me.

She wiped her suddenly leaky eyes on her shoulder and sniffed her nose. What could she have done differently? She wasn’t prepared to live without him in her life. She’d thought things were going so well between them and then like flipping a switch, he’d declared their relationship over. Why? Why would he do that? Had he lied about loving her? To hurt her, maybe? Like she’d planned to hurt him originally. Had the whole thing been a game to him? He was a much better player than she was.

Brian moved to the front of the stage and climbed on the ego riser to play his solo. Sed moved to the back of the stage to grab a drink of water. He chugged half a bottle and set it down near the drum kit. His eyes fell on Jessica. They widened. He froze. When Brian’s solo ended and Sed was supposed to continue singing, he didn’t move. Jace shoved him and he snapped out of his trance. Sed turned and entered the song mid-chorus. The crowd had been singing the lyrics anyway. They didn’t seem to mind his lapse.

When the song ended, he handed his mic to Trey and launched himself over the drum kit platform to Jessica’s hiding place. She stumbled backwards over a collection of cords, but Sed grabbed her by her upper arms before she could flee.

“What are you doing here?”

She couldn’t answer his question, because she didn’t know. She shook her head, tears streaming down both cheeks.

“I don’t want to see you,” he bellowed. “Don’t you get it? Go away!”

She shook her head harder, tears flying from her cheeks. “No, I don’t get it. I don’t get it at all! What changed, Sed? What… I don’t understand… Please, Sed. Please.”

“You’re gonna beg, Jess? Beg like one of my groupie whores? Go ahead. Beg. Beg me to take you back. It won’t change anything.”

“I love you.” She couldn’t see his expression because his face was blurred behind her tears. “I love you.”

“You and fifty thousand other women.”

He released her and she sat down hard on the stage. She drew her knees to her chest, wrapped her arms around her shins, buried her face against her knees, and sobbed.

Sed’s voice came through the speaker a moment later. “What do you say, Fresno? Are you ready to climb the gates of Hell?”

Sed had been unprepared to see Jessica that soon after their breakup. He felt guilty for being so hard on her, but he didn’t think she’d leave otherwise. He refused to be her excuse for giving up on law school and her dreams. Things would never be right between them if that happened. But after the cruel things he’d just said, things would probably never be right between them again anyway.

God, he couldn’t breathe.

Which made it exceedingly difficult to sing.

But not as hard as it was to keep his attention from the back of the stage where he’d left the only woman he’d ever loved sobbing on the floor.

Somehow, he got through “Gates of Hell” and “Good-bye Is Not Forever.” He allowed himself a quick glance behind the drum kit. Jessica was gone. A gaping hole filled the place where his heart had been a few days ago. This was what was best for her. He had to believe that, because it sure as hell wasn’t what was best for him.

When the band went on break, leaving Master Sinclair to dazzle the crowd with his solos, Sed grabbed a licorice rope and stared at the floor, chewing slowly and trying not to think much. He could not allow himself to hunt for Jessica, apologize, grovel for acting like an ass. He had to stick to his guns.

“Where’s Eric?” Jace asked.

Sed glanced up. Usually, Eric would be drenching himself in water and changing from his sweat-saturated shirt into a dry one, but he was conspicuously absent. Sed rounded the back of the drum kit and found Eric trying to coax Jessica out from between two empty equipment cases. How had she managed to cram herself into such a tiny space? Sed hesitated. He couldn’t stand to see her like that, especially knowing he was responsible. Why had she come back? She obviously wasn’t thinking clearly. He’d given her a perfect out.

Fuck.

Sed nudged Eric aside and extended a hand toward Jessica. “Come on out of there.”

“Get away from me, you asshole!” she shouted. “I fucking hate you.”

So they were back to this. He’d thought it would make it easier, but no. “It’s okay to hate me, just do it somewhere safer.”