“You said people who love each other, they kiss each other… and I’m not going to kiss you on the mouth because that’s gross.”

“Are you saying you love me, Champ?”

“I love you. I love Josh too, but he’s a boy so I’m not going to kiss him. Not even on the cheek.”

Josh burst out laughing. “Yuk!” Lucas joined the laughter and they high-fived each other instead. The scene was like a dream. Two points on my back started to twitch. They were where my wings had started to grow. I was about to fly into the sky, carried away by happiness. Sometimes, I could be cheesier than Josh himself.

Then I crashed back to Earth, as Lucas’s face came over all serious. “What’s up?” I placed the tip of my index finger underneath his chin so that he met my eyes.

“Andrea is going to be sad.”

I really didn’t want to hear that name. “Why, baby?”

“Because she said she wanted to be my mom.”

My eyes met Josh’s. His brow was furrowed. Trisha, our caseworker back in Kansas City had warned us: for Lucas’s sake, we should never mention the adoption to him until the pre-placement visits. Apparently Andrea Loretti hadn’t bothered with that rule. I felt less sorry for her now.

“Okay, and what do you want?” I was treading a risky line, but we had to talk about it. We had the right to now. “It’s fine for you to say what you really mean.”

Josh came and knelt by my side so that he could be face-to-face with Lucas. “We’re friends. We’ll always be friends and friends tell each other the truth, even when it hurts sometimes. Don’t be scared to hurt us. The only thing that matters is that you’re happy.”

“I’m not happy with Sharon.” He chewed the end of his pencil. “She’s nice but she doesn’t cuddle me like my mommy did… like you do.” I smiled and fought back my tears. I still didn’t say anything. “I’m big now, but I need my cuddles.”

“Does Andrea cuddle you then?” Josh asked.

“She does but it’s not the same. She’s not my mommy or Cassie.”

Pride welled up in my chest.

“Andrea and her husband are nice and they like you very much.” Josh managed to keep his voice neutral. “We love you. Whoever you choose, we’ll still love you and we’ll always be your friends. No matter what.”

Panic flashed through Lucas’s eyes and his next words burst from him. “But I want to be with you two.”

I held back a sob. There was so much longing inside me, I was scared it was going to spill out. Josh took Lucas in his arms. “I believe we have a deal then, Champ. You’re coming to live with us.”

I waited for my turn to take him in my arms. I held him tight until he mumbled something against my shirt. “Cassie, it smells like burning.”

“Sh—ugar!” I ran back to the kitchen where the chicken breast I’d left simmering was now caramelized. “Noooo!” By the time I cooked another one it’d almost be Lucas’s bedtime. “Sorry, sweetheart. You’ll have to wait a bit longer for your dinner.”

The response that came from the living room was from Josh and Lucas at the same time, and it was mixed with giggles, “Can we have fries then?”

I sat at the foot of Lucas’s bed, as still as a statue because it’d taken ages for him to find sleep. He’d been over-tired. The day had been packed and our conversation before dinner, well, it’d been like a tumble-dryer of emotions and we were washed-out.

The door cracked open and a ray of light made it into the room for a split second then vanished. Josh came to my side on tiptoes. I prayed he wouldn’t wake up Lucas. I couldn’t survive another Dr. Seuss story, not after five in a row.

Josh took my hand and led me outside quietly. After each step I expected Lucas to call out my name. We made it back into the living room and waited behind the door for one minute. Each second ticked in our heads. No sound came from the bedroom and I let out a heavy breath of relief.

“It’s Cassie-time now,” Josh whispered.

“What do you mean?”

He walked me through the semi-darkness into our bathroom. Now, I loved our bathroom. It was one of those old, vintage ones that still managed to look cool. The icing on the cake for me was the standalone bathtub. Tonight, the bathroom was like the paradise where girls wanted to spend eternity, without any chance to make it back to life. As with the rest of our apartment, the lights were off, but the bathroom was illuminated by a string of candles. There were so many of them that I almost freaked that the house was going to burn down.

I stepped in, breaking from Josh’s touch. The scent shot up my nose and hit my brain. “Whoa! Perfumed candles?”

Josh leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms. “Wild daisies.”

“Why?”

He did a double take. “Because that’s your scent.”

“Really?”

“Have I never told you that?”

I shook my head. The smile that broke across my face was no match for the sweetness that seeped into my heart. “You’ve never told me anything about how I smelled before.”

“Tsk-tsk! Wrong choice of words, Cass. Not your smell, your scent. You’re the songwriter after all.”

“Okay, my wild daisy scent then…” I bent over the bathtub and my hand swept through the thick foam that topped the water. “… and bubbles?”

“Half a bottle of Soothing Sensations Bubble Bath.”

I dipped my fingers into the water again and I swirled them around. When I straightened back up my gaze settled on Josh. The candles threw fleeting shadows around the lines of his body. They also danced on his face and I drank in his beauty. The way a curl of his hair fell stubbornly over his forehead and teased his right eyebrow.

“You’re still missing something.” He nodded to where the basin stood. On one side of the tap there was a bottle and on the other were two tall glasses.

“Is that Champagne?”

“Taittinger. I got it when I was in Paris. I hid it for a special occasion.”

I peered at him from the corner of my eye. He hadn’t moved from the doorframe. Still, there was a more fragile vibe coming out from him.

“So let me sum things up: Wild daisy scented candles, check; half a gallon of bubble bath, check; real Champagne from France, check.”

“Yep.” I saw him swallow hard.

“Tell me, Champ: Are you trying to get me in the sack by any chance?”

“Technically, I’m trying to get you in the bath.”

“And we both know how technical you can be,” I teased him.

Josh stepped toward me. With each one of his steps, my skin tingled a bit more. When he stood over me, it felt like a blanket of heat washed over my body.

“I’m not trying to be technical right now. I’m just damn plain desperate.”

“Desperate?”

“Desperate to be in you.”

My mouth gaped and I struggled to recover. “What about ‘being ready’?”

“Fuck ‘being ready.’”

“That’s not very technical.”

“No, that’s explicit.”

“I like ‘explicit’ very much.” I eyed the Champagne. “Now please get me explicitly drunk by pouring some of that bubbly, will you?”

Josh granted my request and I sipped through my drink holding his gaze. The silence didn’t bother me for once. It was filled with whatever we hadn’t done yet and what we were about to do. That was plenty enough and there was no more to say except…

“Lock the door.”

Once again, Josh obeyed without question. I enjoyed having the upper-hand. I laid my glass on the edge of the basin careful that it didn’t tip over. The Champagne had fuzzied up my brain and my senses. My gaze caught our reflection in the mirror and met with Josh’s. His had turned unreadable. It was like he was letting me write the next chapter.

I cut the bond by lowering my head and bringing my hands around the button at the top of my shirt. My fingers were shaking and I wished I had another glass of Champagne running through my veins. I slowly made my way down, not allowing my eyes to wander anywhere other than my shirt. I’d sounded all cocky before but that had been one-hundred percent bluff.