“You know Rob. He’s always been more…” she hesitates.

“About himself,” I finish for her.

“Yeah,” she sighs. “Not that he doesn’t love you, Jessa. It’s just that music seems to take precedence in his life.” Sadie is always one to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings.

“Just say it, Sadie,” I challenge, cocking my head to the side.

“What?” she asks innocently.

“Tell me…just tell me that he’s an asshole. I know you want to, so just do it.” I stand up and toss the picture on my dresser. I don’t understand why I’m feeling angry now. Am I mad at myself for not being upset over Rob leaving? Are my feelings for Grant the reason my relationship with Rob suffered and we got to this point?

Sadie walks over to me and rests her hand on my shoulder. “It’s okay, Jessa. Don’t blame yourself for something that’s out of your control.” I turn around and see the concern that fills her eyes. She only wants the best for me and has stood by my side all this time, even though she hated Rob.

“I’m sorry,” I say and sink down on the bed again.

“You can’t control who your feelings are for,” she says, raising her eyebrows to signify, she knows how Grant consumes my thoughts.

“I’m so confused, Sadie. Grant wouldn’t want me anyways. The sickest part of this is that I should be in tears on my bed, grieving over the fact that my boyfriend just left. Instead, all I can think of is that maybe this is my chance with Grant.” A tear of remorse escapes my eyes. “Fuck, what kind of person am I?” I let my head fall into my hands as sobs start spilling out of me.

She crawls up on the bed and wraps her arm around my shoulders. “It’s okay to feel that way, Jessa. They’re your feelings, don’t deny them. I’m not saying it’s not complicated, but you should definitely break it off with Rob and see where things go with Grant.” She speaks softly in my ear, as though someone else is in the room.

“Ugh…that’s just it. I was going to.” I shake my head, upset that I put myself in this position, but also that Rob put me in it too. “I was going to break it off tonight, but then this news…it just threw me off, that’s all.”

“Why don’t you come to the show and get your mind off of things? You can deal with this tomorrow,” she says and I nod my head.

“Yeah, I guess I could go. But I’ll have to meet you there,” I tell her and we both stand up. She wraps her arms around me again in a tight hug.

“Don’t be too long. You know I hate being there by myself while they play.” she reminds me.

“You’re the lead singer’s girlfriend. The girls envy you and the guys want to fuck you.” I reply and we both laugh.

“Don’t say that to Brady. He would never let me go to one of his shows again,” she says with a smile before leaving the room.

Laughing to myself, I go into the bathroom to get ready.

Chapter 6

Grant

The ringing of my phone pulls my attention from the basketball game on the television. Hitting the mute button, I reach over, see that it’s Brady. I wonder why he’s calling me on a Saturday night; usually he’s performing at Aces.

“What’s up, Brady?” I answer the phone.

“Thank God you picked up,” he says, his voice panicked.

“What’s wrong? Something with…” I match his tone with worry.

“No, nothing like that. Can you come down to Aces and…bring your guitar?” he asks, his voice doubtful.

“No way! Why?”

“Please, Grant. Rob left the band to join some guys that got invited on a tour. We already booked here tonight. I don’t want to cancel. It’s not fair to the bar.” I hear his desperate tone, like always, I cave.

“Sure. But I have to warn you, I haven’t played in a while. Not to mention, I don’t know a lot of your songs,” I admit.

“You’re talented, Grant. You’ll catch the beat fast. Just get here as quickly as you can. We’re supposed to be on in ten.” He hangs up the phone but not before I hear some screaming in the background.

By the time I arrive at the bar, Sadie is massaging Brady’s shoulders on stage, while Trey and Dex sit next to them, patiently waiting for me. I don’t see Jessa anywhere. I can’t help but wonder how she’s taking the news, whether she’s at home crying or worse, following him on tour. Making my way over to the stage, I sidestep through the crowd who gives me a once-over, clearly confused by my presence.

“Awesome! Thanks, man.” Trey pushes off the stage and holds his hand out.

“You’re welcome. I just hope I play alright,” I say, shaking his hand. Trey and I couldn’t be more opposite. His tattooed and pierced body with a black tank top and baggy jeans is completely different than my usual khakis and polo. Tonight I wore jeans and a t-shirt to attempt to look less preppy. Regardless, Trey has always been welcoming and friendly to me.

“Oh, you’ll do just fine. Brady has nothing but good things to say about your playing,” he says, and I quirk my lip up and look over at Brady, who laughs. He would brag about my skills because he was my teacher, along with his dad.

“Believe me, he can play,” Brady clasps my shoulder, leading us up on stage.

“I don’t know, Brady. I’m rusty as hell,” I confess.

“You’ll be fine. I wrote most of the songs so you know them already. I’ll give you the heads up on chords,” he says, hooking up my guitar to the amplifier. I guess I don’t have a choice now. “And Grant?” I look up from tuning my strings. “Thank you. What’s that, a million paybacks I owe you?” he asks, his voice full of gratitude.

“You don’t owe me anything. Glad I could help,” I say and smile at him, he grins back. If someone would’ve told me six months ago that I’d share a stage with Brady Carsen, I would’ve laughed them out of the room. But I’m thankful to have him back in my life. It actually makes me feel like I have family again, since he’s always been like a brother to me.

Brady takes the microphone from the stand and winks down at Sadie, who remains in the round booth to the right. She’s alone, and I wonder if Jessa is usually by her side during The Invisibles’ gigs. Sadie smiles brightly up at Brady and then turns to me, giving me a thumbs up. Brady turns my way with a reassuring smirk, and then I hear Trey hit his drumsticks together to establish the beat behind me and my stomach drops.

I follow Dex’s chords until I find the correct mixtures. Brady backs up from the stage and whispers specific instructions to me. Before I realize it, I’ve found the groove. I know I’m not as good as Rob, but I’m pulling it off as best I can. After two songs, I remember how much I love playing music. How you can lose yourself and empty your mind from all the shit that consumes it on a daily basis?

The smile on my face probably looks cheesy as hell, but I haven’t enjoyed myself this much in a long time. Sweat pours off me and my grey t-shirt now appears black, but I can’t stop moving and jumping with the music. A twinge of disappointment hits me when Brady tells everyone it’s the last song.

I glance up from my guitar at the dark crowd below us and see her blonde head among all of the people. When she lands next to Sadie in the booth, Sadie immediately reaches over and hugs Jessa. I can’t tell if she’s been crying from up here, but I do notice the look of surprise when Sadie points to me up on the stage. Nodding my head her way, I quickly put my eyes back on the guitar, now eager to finish this last song and get down to her.

After the guys and I put away the equipment in Dex’s truck, they all change their shirts and I realize in my rush that I forgot one. I walk back inside the bar, astonished to find that Jessa already ordered a beer for me.

“Thanks,” I say, scooting in next to her.

“You’re sweaty,” she says, plucking at my shirt that’s currently stuck to my body. I’m surprised to see no trace of puffy or red eyes.

“I forgot a shirt to change into,” I apologize and scoot away.