“Hopefully he doesn’t run out of here and hitchhike a ride to the airport,” I say, half joking and half serious.

“Jessa, you can see the love that boy holds for you across the room. Believe me, he’s out there fighting for your love.” She smiles and walks away, starting to put some of the dishes back in the cabinet.

I hear the guys start joking around about Grant having to talk to my dad.

“That sucks,” Dex shakes his head.

“I know, I hate the parents thing,” Trey remarks. “One of the best things about meeting girls in college is that you don’t have to worry so much about talking to the parents.” My mom turns around and scrunches her eyebrows at him. “No offense, Mrs. Harrison,” he adds, and she laughs.

“Quite alright, Trey. I remember how nervous I was when Mr. Harrison had to meet my parents. Unfortunately, they weren’t half as nice as my husband,” she finishes, giving me a reassuring smile.

“Whatever. Dad’s probably out there telling him about his gun collection,” Sam jokes, taking the seat next to Dex.

“Oh, Sam, stop it,” my mom says, waving her hand in the air. “Your Dad is more than fair when it comes to these things.”

“Was Mom…he has to be extra careful now. He won’t be fooled again.” Sam glances at me and then back to our mom. I’m pretty sure the boys don’t understand what she’s talking about, but Sadie does, and she gives me a sympathetic look.

“He’ll take care of it, Jessa,” my mom curtly says, leaving the room.

It kills me that she still feels guilty for what happened. I think that because Jason was her friend’s son, she somehow assumes responsibility for what happened. Part of me wants to go to her now, but then everyone in the room would become curious. I have to make a point to talk to her about it tonight or tomorrow. She reassures me all the time; it’s about time I assure her that I’m healthy now, and stronger because of what I went through.

“Aren’t you glad you don’t have to worry about this,” Sadie says to Brady, resting between his legs.

“Baby, I would love to be doing what Grant is doing, if things were different,” he says, his tone serious. The conversation in this room is way too serious for college students.

“So, who wants to play some cards?” I ask, glancing toward the back door.

“I’m in for sure. You going to play?” Dex directions the question toward my sister, and I notice her turn a nice shade of red.

“Of course I’m in. But be prepared, there’s a card shark hiding beneath this innocent exterior,” she jokes, and I see Dex’s eyes fill with lust.

“I‘ll bet there is. Let’s go, maybe you can show me a thing or two.” Dex stands up and holds his hand out for Sam. She gingerly stands up and gracefully takes it before leading him out of the room.

“Sorry, guys, I’m out,” Trey says, swinging the keys around his finger.

“And where are you going?” I slyly ask.

“Kailey’s. Thanks, by the way, I owe you one for getting her phone number.” He pats me on the shoulder before giving me a hug. “Don’t worry about what’s going on out there. Grant’s a big boy. He can handle himself,” he whispers in my ear.

“Thanks, and have fun, Trey. But…” I start to give him my usual lecture. Trey deserves to find someone who loves him. I know deep down he wants it, but either hasn’t found the right one or is too afraid to stick around.

“I know,” he sighs, as if he knows exactly what I’m going to say.

“She’s different, Trey. I see it in her so don’t mess with her head,” I say, just to make sure he understands.

“Got it, Sis,” he says, keeping his back to me and walking out the door.

“They seemed to have shared something on the plane,” Sadie says, and I glance over at her and Brady, wrapped in each other’s embrace. It only makes me yearn for Grant more.

“It’s Trey, baby. Don’t get your hopes up. Every time he brings someone home twice, you think he’s finally found the one,” Brady smirks.

“Well one of these times, I’m bound to be right,” Sadie proclaims. “Let’s go play some poker with the other two lovebirds.” She grabs his hand, stopping before they leave the room.

“You coming?” she asks me.

“I’m going to wait for Grant,” I say, and she pats Brady on the arm, indicating for him to go ahead.

She walks over to me. I already know the question she has before it comes out of her mouth. She asks me if I’m fine, and I tell her I am. She tells me she’s here for me, and I know she is. I give her a quick hug and her arms wrap around me tightly. “You’ve come so far, Jessa. You’re so strong and I admire you more every day,” she whispers in my ear.

After she leaves the room, I walk over to the windows and peer out, hopeful that my dad is going easy on Grant and praying he sees what I see…the love of my life.

Grant

Mr. Harrison bends down to open a slot on the gas fire pit that sits in the middle of the patio. The snow is stacked around the outside perimeter of the cement porch and I notice a hot tub in the corner. I wish Jessa and I could have some fun in there, but I’m well aware that’s not a good idea on this trip.

Her dad takes a seat on the cement bench that circles the fire and I follow suit. It’s surprising how much the fire warms you when the outside temperature is so unbearably low. Taking out two cigars, he lights one and then passes the second and a lighter to me. I’m not usually a cigar smoker, but I’m not about to tell him that. I take it, light it, and cough a little before handing him back the lighter.

Mr. Harrison leans back, staring into the fire for a long moment, as I try to appear comfortable when I’m anything but. Then his eyes veer to me and I try to prepare myself for what he’s going to ask. Which question will it be? What are my intentions with his daughter? Do I love her? Can I commit? He inhales the smoke, resting his hand that holds the cigar on his knee that’s crossed over his other leg. Slowly exhaling, his eyes stare intently at me. I watch the slow stream of smoke travel up into the sky.

“Tell me, Grant, out of all the girls, why my daughter?” he asks and I panic. Of all the questions, he picks this one. How do I describe something I just realized I was feeling myself?

“I love her,” I assure him, but he just huffs.

“That’s a cop out. Try again.” He swishes his tongue in his mouth in obvious distaste. I haven’t had to speak with a father since Lizzy, and even then, he didn’t care what I did with his daughter.

“Her heart, sir. It’s so big and welcoming,” I say, and a smirk comes across his face, but not a happy one. Is there anything I can say to please this man?

“Yes, and that’s exactly what has gotten her in trouble in the past,” he remarks, and I understand completely what he’s saying.

“I would never betray her trust,” I respond, and he leans closer to me.

“You do know, correct?” he whispers, as though someone could hear us.

“I do. She’s told me what happened.” I sit back a little due to his intimidating presence.

“That surprises me,” he says, leaning back again.

“What, that she told me?” I ask.

“No, the fact that you say you love my daughter, but you’ve been here for what, four hours now and still haven’t gone to beat the shit out of him?” He takes another inhale from the cigar.

“You have no idea how hard it was not to hop on a plane after she told me, but what good would that do her?” I ask. “She clearly has moved on, and if I make her relive what happened, I’d be the asshole.” I let the cigar rest between my fingers, although he probably sees it slightly shaking.

“Hmm…nice excuse,” he remarks.

“It’s not an excuse, sir. I know I’m not good enough for your daughter. She deserves a lot better than me. Please don’t think I’m with her for any other reason than I simply can’t breathe without her. Believe me, I’m not usually so selfish. But I can’t tear myself away from her, no matter how hard I’ve tried. If you’re going to hate me, hate me because I’ll fail her someday. One day, I’ll give her every reason to leave me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll never walk away from her. But most likely, I’ll cause her break both our hearts.” A sense of calm comes over me that I finally admitted my fear to someone, but it sucks that the person I said it to was her dad.