And God, I want to be near him.

I want to breathe him in.

I want his goodness to fix me.

Please, God.

We slide the passenger seat of my car all the way back, and between the nurse, Brand and me, we get him situated. His long leg, encased in a knee brace, barely fits.

As I get in, I glance at him. “Just tell me where to go.”

He nods. “Sure. We’re headed to my friend’s cottage out by the lake. I’ll tell you where to turn.”

“Okay.” I head for the exit and Brand runs his finger along the leather-bound dashboard.

“Nice car,” he tells me casually as I turn onto the highway.

I roll my eyes. “Thanks. I wanted a convertible, but my father thought that was too tacky.”

“A Jaguar XJ isn’t anything to sneeze at,” he answers. “Although they’re mechanical pieces of shit.”

I snort back laughter. “Tell that to my father. He gave it to me as a graduation gift. I know, it’s a grandma car.”

“It is a little….geriatric,” Brand grins. “But it’s still nice.”

It’s the absolute story of my life. I want something, my father wants something else, and guess who wins that battle?

“Turn here,” Brand tells me after a few minutes. Honeysuckle Drive.

“What a charming name,” I muse aloud.

The road is just as charming as the name implies. Lined with shady trees, I idle down the quiet lane to the very end, to a little cottage perched on the lake. Cute and quaint, it’s got vines growing up the side, a porch with two rocking chairs, and pots of flowers out front.

“This is a adorable,” I observe before I get out and pull the wheelchair from the trunk.

I unfold it and push it over to the passenger side, but Brand scowls at it. “I’m not using that thing.”

I scowl back. “Well, you certainly can’t bear weight, and we don’t have your crutches yet. So get into it, Killien.”

Brand’s head snaps up in surprise, then he bursts out laughing.

“A bit bossy, aren’t you?” His eyes sparkle and it takes my breath away. “It’s a good thing bossy looks good on you.”

I smirk and hold the chair and Brand twists himself from the car and drops into it, all without managing to put weight on his leg. It’s not without effort and I can see his face is a bit pale.

“We’ll get you some pain pills in the house,” I tell him. “The nurse said you could have one soon.”

I wheel him to the door.

“The key is on top of the sill,” he tells me. “Can you reach it?”

Barely.

But I manage, by stretching up on the very tip of my toes. When I turn back around, Brand is watching me, and heat floods my cheeks. His gaze had been fixed on my ass, on the way my shirt had pulled up as I stretched.

I want him to watch me, to see me, yet when he does, I get as flustered as the thirteen-year old I used to be. Gah.

I unlock the door and him inside.

The inside of the cottage is as cute as the outside, but it does have a pent-up musty smell and it’s stifling hot.

“I’m going to open the windows,” I tell Brand. “We need some air flowing. And I’ll change the sheets on the bed for you. I’m guessing this cottage hasn’t been opened up for the season.”

“No, it hasn’t,” Brand agrees.

I push him over to the windows where he can look out over the lake while I wander about, opening windows, opening all the faucets to get fresh water flowing, and hunting for linens.

As I do, my phone rings in my pocket. I pull it out, staring at the screen, expecting to see my father or my mom, or even Nate.

But I don’t.

My heart leaps into my throat, locking it up, when I see the name. I’m frozen for a minute, paralyzed. You’re an idiot. It’s just a freaking phone call. He can’t hurt you here.

I will myself to move, and I’m finally able to shove the phone back into my pocket without answering it. But I feel it there, like a blazing piece of charcoal, taunting me.

I blink hard.

“You can answer that,” Brand tells me, staring at me curiously. “I don’t mind.”

I shake my head. “It’s no one important.”

Only the devil himself.

Brand still stares at me. “Are you all right?”

No.

“Yes,” I lie. “It’s just hot in here. Opening the windows will help.”

Trying to ignore the way my heart is pounding, I bring Brand a glass of water and one of his pain pills.

“I’ll go into the pharmacy and get your prescription filled today,” I tell him. “The hospital only sent ten pills. I’ll pick up your crutches while I’m there.”

Brand is already shaking his head. “No, you’ve already done enough. I’ll suck it up and call my mother. I’m not your responsibility, Nora. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do.”

But the look on his face. It stabs me in the heart because I know that look. I’m sure I have it myself whenever I speak of my father.

Brand could’ve died in surgery for all his mother knew, and she didn’t even bother to come to the hospital. I’m outraged for him, enough so that I don’t even think she deserves to be with him now. He’s everything that’s good in the world, and if she can’t see that, then it’s her loss.

“No,” I insist. “It’s not a trouble. Trust me, it’s helping me out too. The more time I’m here, the less time I have to be at my parents’ house.”

I’m going to be here a lot, you just don’t know it yet.

Brand starts to answer, but closes his mouth, nodding. His eyes hold a curious expression. I get that a lot. People always assume my life is all rainbows and butterflies. I’m rich, after all, right?

Well, money doesn’t buy happiness.

Or good childhoods.

Or good fathers.

“I’m glad that’s settled,” I tell him firmly, taking back the glass and carrying it to the kitchen.

My phone buzzes again, this time with a text.

I don’t want to look, I don’t want to look, I don’t want to look.

But I don’t have the will power not to.

With my teeth gritted, I look.

Answer your phone.

I shudder, and slide my phone back into my pocket.

“Are you sure everything is ok?” Brand asks. He’d been watching me and I didn’t even know it.

“Yeah.”

No.

I’m not ok, because the devil himself can find me wherever I am.

I’m not safe.

I’m not safe.

But I’m safe with Brand…because he stands on a wall to protect what is his.

I rotate in a circle, taking the cottage in. Everything is on one floor here, so it’ll be easier for Brand to get around. But he really shouldn’t be alone. He can’t even drive yet.

I suddenly know how to get what I want.

“I’m going to stay here with you,” I announce, squaring my shoulders as I look at the sexy man in front of me.

His eyes widen and before he can argue, I continue.

“I insist. You can’t cook for yourself, you can’t walk, you can’t drive. You don’t want to talk to your mom and I get that. I wouldn’t speak to my dad, if I could help it. Let me do this. I want to. I owe you. And if I’m here, then I don’t have to see my dad. You’d actually be doing me a favor. Plus, I promised the nurse that I’d keep you off your leg.”

I want to be here with you.

My eyes must tell him that. He stares into them, studying me, dissecting me. I feel like he’s looking into me, figuring out all the broken parts.

But I’m studying him, too. And I see that while he’s big and strong and brave, there’s something in him that is hurting. I just don’t know what it is yet. He’s an enigma. And I can’t wait to figure him out.

Finally, he nods slowly.

“If you really want to.”

“I do,” I tell him firmly, and my heart takes off like helicopter blades. “And when someone else comes, your girlfriend, or whatever, I’ll just go back home. Easy-breezy.”

Yes, it’s a pathetic and blatant fishing attempt on my part.

Brand doesn’t bite.

He eyes me and starts to say something, but then doesn’t.