“It’s not going to be pretty. This has train wreck written all over it,” I answer. We move briskly across the parking lot, my patent leather stilettoes clicking on the pavement. Lakin agreed to attend a show downtown tonight to scout out an up-and-coming band. I have no problem watching these shows alone, but Lakin insisted we hang out, so here he is. While I contended this is merely a friendly evening out, Lakin is hell-bent that at some point I will refer to it as he does…a date.

“That bad? Like call for Jen-type reinforcements, bad?” He jests, but I know exactly what Jen would do to Jack if my suspicions of him are correct. No one wants assault or harassment or any other buffet of felony charges that Jen would get us. So for now, Jen will be kept in the dark.

I offer a tight-lipped smile as he opens the door to the bar for me and we are immediately ushered to VIP seating. He orders a drink and I, of course, request my usual, ice water. I say nothing more until the server returns with our drinks and we won’t be interrupted.

We both take a large gulp of our refreshments. While mine is cold and soothes my thirst, cooling me down from the tight clothes and burning heat outside, Lakin’s provides a sour look that only warm alcohol induces when it burns your throat. No thanks, I’m happy with my water.

“I think when we uncover what’s really been going on, it’s going to get nasty,” I tell him as we set our glasses back onto the table top. I explain everything Carly told me on the phone, about the doctor’s visit and procedure he has hidden from her, the numerous business trips back east over the last several months, and their argument over having more children. He listens intently, nodding and scowling with each new fact presented. When I finally finish my rundown, he just sits quietly for a second before taking another swig of his scotch.

“He’s cheating,” he blurts out after his pregnant pause.

My brows scrunch together, dissatisfied with his revelation. I know he’s probably right, but I also know Carly would struggle to believe in that possibility. What her life would look like without Jack is scary for her. I love her dearly, but her strength comes from her big heart not from some protective outer shell. She’s not a ‘pull her up by her bootstrap’ kind of girl. The big girl panties she wears daily are on because of her faith in her marriage, and if that’s gone, I’m concerned about what a post-Jack life would look like for her. Because of this, it would take something of apocalyptic proportions for Carly to leave him. If Lakin’s suggestion is true, Carly’s world has just ended.

“Don’t even pretend, Cam that this scenario isn’t what played out in your head, too. He had this procedure done to protect himself from getting Carly or the mistress pregnant. He just got sloppy in his cover-up.”

“Damn it, Lakin. I know that’s what I thought, but for her sake, I’m hoping like hell it’s not true.”

“I get it. I really do. But if you’re asking me as a man what the obvious answer is, that’s it.”

I can feel my pale face flush with anger as my temper flares. Why would cheating for a man be the obvious answer? All men cheat, and somehow that is okay and acceptable? If that’s what Lakin is implying, then I not only call bullshit, but it provides a big piece to the Lakin puzzle as to why I have yet to date him.

Noticing my disapproval, he immediately backpedals. “I didn’t say all men do that, nor am I suggesting it’s okay. Cheating is never acceptable, Cam. Even I, man-slut of the universe, understand that. However, and this is a big however, if you ask me to call it like I see it, my money would go with him having some pretty little co-worker situated in an apartment in New York.”

I nod and slide his scotch across the table, bringing it to my lips. It burns instantly and I choke. Lakin immediately stands and moves around the table to sit in the booth next me and begins to pat my back.

“Yeah, that didn’t make me feel better about this shit situation at all,” I gasp once I finally catch my breath.

“You really thought it would?” he laughs, handing me my water to calm my throbbing throat.

“Well, I was out of ideas.” Lakin’s hand hasn’t moved from my back and I become acutely aware of the small circles he’s lightly rubbing up and down my spine.

It feels surprisingly nice.

I don’t normally like being touched. I’m not a hugger, but Lakin’s hands on me feel entirely natural…like they always should have been there. I look straight ahead at the stage before us, trying to disregard the feelings sweeping over me.

“I know a guy we use at the company sometimes when we want to look into the competition. I’ll give him a call and have him tail Jack,” he says reassuringly. “Hopefully, we are looking too much into this, but if not, this guy will find out. Make sure she doesn’t do anything differently until we can get proof one way or the other.”

My head quickly turns, my eyes meeting his. “You would do that?” I say almost breathlessly.

He brings his free hand up to my face and lightly feathers the back of his knuckles along my cheekbones. “When are you going to figure out that I would do whatever you need me to?” he says, leaning into me and whispering into my ear. His warm breath on my neck sends chills down my body. The sensation is deliciously foreign.

Lakin slides his face away from mine, capturing my line of sight and holding my gaze. It feels like my heart is going to pound out of my chest. We both are breathing heavy, our exhaled air tangling in a way that only further heightens my pheromone intoxication when I inhale.

Just when I think our lips might touch and this tension I’m feeling can lessen, the lights dim and the strum of an electric guitar interrupts the dull hum of the socializing patrons. The music of the band we came to see invades my senses, and the connection with Lakin breaks as I scoot away to focus on scouting the band.

He doesn’t return to his side of the booth, though. Instead, he remains within inches of me. I can feel his body heat and, every few minutes, I slide my eyes in his direction to catch him staring at me.

It puts me on edge, and I’m not sure what to do with it. Usually, when a band is on the stage, I zone in. I can dismiss everything around me and absorb myself into the notes of the music. Music is my drug of choice. Getting lost in the sound is how I coped with everything growing up, and now it’s something I crave. It allows me a break from feeling, a break from thinking. I don’t have to dwell on the intimate relationships I don’t have or never pursued. I don’t have to think about the family I don’t have.

But with Lakin in close proximity, I’m distracted. He is distracting. As much as I would like to lean in and allow his arms to wrap around me, I can’t. I refuse to do a committed relationship, and I know if I played with Lakin, we would be playing for keeps.

He is the brother-in-law of one of my dearest friends, Vivian. Not only do I love her, but I care for her husband, Brooks, just as much. Call it what you will, a hornet’s nest, a dead end, or a massive pile of dog shit waiting to be stepped in. A relationship with Lakin could ruin all of my other personal attachments. And I love my patent leather stilettos too much to step into that shit.

So, I keep things friendly, or at least I’ve tried to.

I’m starting to get the feeling Lakin won’t accept the brush off much longer. There is only one way to squash our mutual feelings…pretend like he means nothing to me. I only wish it wouldn’t hurt both of us in the process. Staying true to the plan, I spend the rest of the evening, diverting all of my attention away from Lakin and to the band we came to see.

Lakin

Campbell has been friendly but I know she’s avoiding me; she has kept me at a safe distance since the concert, and I’m pissed that I can’t invade past the safe zone. She has been giving me the vibe that if I didn’t have information about Jack, then meeting was unnecessary. I would like nothing more than to prove her wrong though…wiggle my way into her life so she has no choice but to give me the time of day.