Vivian

As I approach the old student union, my nerves are kicking into overdrive, revolting against my stomach to the point of making me dizzy. Tonight is big for me; not only am I about to see Will’s college buddies, who I haven’t seen since the funeral, it is very possible that Brooks will be making an appearance. Jen and Carly talked me into going to our college reunion. At this moment, I feel like I could seriously kill them; I really don’t think I thought this entirely through. Campbell is out of town and couldn’t come; I should have been more creative and come up with an excuse, as well.

Colorado has been having an unusually hot summer, but tonight, there is a slight warm breeze that gives a little relief. However, it did make it difficult to keep the beautiful but short dress Amanda had picked out for me from blowing up and revealing things I definitely do not want on any social media sites. “It will look gorgeous, Viv. Show all those guys that you still got it, and let Brooks suffer for what he lost,” is what she told me. Yep, I’m adding her to the hit list, too.

I swing the front doors open, and I’m immediately greeted by Jen and Carly in the foyer. The entrance looks like somebody bought out the streamer section of Party America and went to town. If it weren’t for the mixed variety of greens and yellows, and of course, the cardboard cutouts of ram heads, I would think the place had gotten toilet-papered.

“Holy crap, whoever was on the decorating committee needs to seriously reevaluate their design skills,” I say as I trudge through the doors, desperately trying to adjust my dress and pat down my windblown hair.

“Hey! I worked hard on this; it took all afternoon!” Carly shouts. My eyes go wide at the realization that I just insulted one of my closest and oldest friends, but then both she and Jen double over in laughter.

I walk closer to them with a deep scowl on my face. “You bitch, that was not funny; I really thought I hurt your feelings.”

Jen puts her arm around me and pulls me into her side, dabbing tears from her eyes. “Lighten up, Viv. That was fucking hilarious; you should have seen your face. I wish I had filmed it.”

“Seriously, you’ve been so worried about tonight; I just thought we could start it off with a little laugh. We should be laughing and dancing all night, just like old times,” Carly adds.

“God, this is stupid. I shouldn’t be here; Amanda stuck me in this Queen Slut-o-rama dress, and I’m scared to face the guys. I’m just going to end up ruining your night; maybe I should just go home.”

Jen covers my mouth with her hand before anything else can fly out of it. “Listen here, girlie. We wouldn’t have talked you into coming if we thought it would be a bad idea. We are going to have a blast because you are here. The guys love you and will not make you feel uncomfortable, and the specific guy you are most worried about, well, if he’s here, he can go fuck himself.” Carly chuckles a little, but my eyes are bulging out of my head at this point; Jen has taken potty mouth to the extreme. “If he gives you trouble, Carly can hold him while I kick him in the balls; it will be a homecoming to remember.”

At this, we all start laughing. Then Jen removes her hand from my mouth and begins fussing with my hair. “And by the way, sweetheart, this dress is smokin’! If I can just manage to tame the birds that have taken up residence in your hair, you will be one hot ticket tonight.”

“I’m not quite sure if you were complimenting me or not, Jen, but right now, I’ll take what I can get,” I sigh as she finishes correcting my apparent mess of a hairstyle.

“There! You are officially a sexy momma. Watch out, CSU alums; we got a cougar on the prowl!”

I brush Jen off, quickly adjust my dress again, and dab some lip-gloss on. “Oh, good God, you did not just say that. I’m going to need some liquor tonight and pronto if this is what is to become of our evening,” I laugh.

Jen leads our pack through the main entrance that opens into the ballroom. There is a dance floor in the center of the room, a bar off to the right, and tables scattered throughout the space. The tacky decorations have filtered in and have attacked every available flat surface available.

The music playing is reminiscent of ten years ago. Damn, I feel old. I told a student last year to check himself before he wrecked himself, and he looked at me like I had lost my mind. And now, here I am, getting ready to bust a move to Crazy In Love. There is no way Jen will allow me to sit on the sidelines tonight, so after a few shots, I will turn myself over to the twerking society, at least for a few hours.

I follow Jen to the bar and order what will be, I’m assuming, my first of many drinks for the night. “I’ll have a margarita on the rocks, please, with extra salt. Jen wants a martini with extra olives and,–” Carly cuts in before I can tell the bartender her regular red wine order, “I’m just going to have water tonight.”

In utter shock that Carly could think that it’s okay that I be pushed into the social limelight while she sits this one out, I immediately call bullshit. “Uh, I’m sorry. I think I just heard you say, ‘I’m glad you’re being a good sport about tonight, but I’m going to stick to a pussy M.O. tonight.’” I turn to Jen. “Is that what you heard too, Jen?”

She just bobs her head in agreement, completely straight-faced; she’s not going to let Carly off the hook either. Good.

After a long sigh, she finally responds. “Fine, but you know I don’t handle my alcohol well, and if Jack has to hold my hair back tonight, he’s going to be pissed,” she resigns.

“We got you covered, girl. Amanda is keeping the kids all night for Viv, Jack can take care of Olivia in the morning, and we had planned on having coffee at A Scone’s Throw in the morning anyway, so we can all just take a taxi and stay at my house tonight.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I say, letting the last bit hang in the air a little, encouraging Carly to loosen up and have a good time with us.

“Okay,” she steps up to the bar, “I would like a Vodka Tonic with a twist of orange, and to get us started, we need three lemon drops, please.”

She looks back to the two of us. “If we’re going to do this, dammit, we’re going to do it right, and that means loads of vodka.”

That earns a huge smile from both of us. “Well, all right then, let’s get this night rolling!” Jen shouts.

Over the next hour, several familiar faces have made their way to the bar. Some of Will’s old friends stop to give hugs, but nothing awkward. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but I was starting to feel all right with the evening.

Seth and Aaron showed up together and insist that we dance with them; neither is any more coordinated than they were ten years ago. Damn, I missed this crew. We are all grown-ups now, with careers, responsibilities, and some of us have kids and spouses, but we are all still friends. Nothing feels like it has changed. Well, that’s not exactly true; our glue is gone. Will is gone. But I can’t put myself back in that state of mind again. Our group just needs to reorganize and move forward; not forget him, but let go of him. That’s what tonight is for us–realizing that we are all different; our group is different, but we are going to be okay.

I let the music take my body over, swaying to every beat that the speaker kicks out. I love the freeing feeling of the moment, but then I notice that Jen has stopped dancing all together. Her face has gone completely white, and her eyes are narrowed and zoned in on a target. My eyes follow her gaze and land on Brooks, making his way through the doors and to the bar.

He looks as handsome as I remember. Scratch that–he fucking looks better. He used to be tall and lean, but he has bulked up over the past decade. His dark hair is messy, but in a stylish, sexy way. At one time, I loved to pull my fingers through it; now I just hate him and every sexy little thing about him, including his fuck-me hair.