Saving me.

I’m in a state of shock, joy, and complete disbelief. How can this be happening? Where has he been? I had so many questions I wanted to ask but was afraid to. Afraid of it all vanishing if I started to wonder. Afraid my mind was playing a cruel joke that would reveal itself once the questions started coming out.

Suddenly, what I almost did hits me with such force that I find it hard to breathe. My hand goes slowly to my mouth. Oh God, I tried to kill myself. My stomach twists into a tight ball, the tenderness from forcing myself to vomit still prominent. I would’ve never seen Alex again. Even though I didn’t know he was okay, the thought of missing the opportunity to be with him has tears running down my face. Once the first few tears leak out, the gates open and my body shakes as I sob. I cry for the things I have lost, for the burdens that I’ve carried, and for the life I chose. But most importantly, I cry for the hope of a better future.

I see it. It’s there standing in front of me. A future where there are no obligations, false pretenses, and phony relationships, but one of hope, love, and happiness. With Alex, all of those things are a possibility now.

I’m not sure what he’s doing or how we’re going to get out of this, but I know I’ll keep fighting. I’m not the person that I let Cal reduce me to. I’m stronger than that, and I will take my life back.

Getting up, I look at myself in the full-length mirror off to the side. I almost don’t recognize the person looking back at me. She’s too thin with hollow cheekbones and clothes that are too baggy. Her hair is dull, and her skin is pale. But when I look in my eyes, I see the woman I used to be. The fire, the strength, the determination. Yes, she will come back. It might not be today or tomorrow, but she’s going to fight to overcome the shit that’s been thrown her way. And when she does, Cal better watch out.

ALEX

“WHERE THE FUCK have you been?” Bruce asks as soon as I walk through the door.

“Doing my job,” I grumble. I’m in no mood for this asshole right now. Everything has changed. All of my plans, my part in the investigation, everything. It’s all been flipped upside down and I’m not sure where to go from here.

“What did you do?”

“Don’t fucking worry about it,” I say with a glare. “I don’t answer to you.”

“Really? Do we need to remind you who is in charge around here?” He starts stepping toward me in a threatening manner. For once, he isn’t blindsiding me and he’s going down. He has no idea what he’s up against.

He comes at me in an awkward, slow way. I expected him to go low and try to take out my legs, so when he’s close enough for me to reach, I turn to the side, grab his hair, and bring my knee up and connect it with his face. Blood splatters on my knee as I hear the bone crunch from impact.

“Son of a bitch!” He screams as he grabs his nose. Before he has time to think, I nail him with a right hook to the face. He stumbles back a bit before collapsing to the floor. From the corner of my eye, I see movement. I turn just in time to see Rodney coming after me. Nope, not this time asshole.

His left arm swings out to hit me in the face, but I dodge it easily. He loses his balance just a little from missing, and I take advantage. I pull back and hit him in the stomach as hard as I can. He doubles over and coughs in agony. I’m about to hit him again when two arms wrap around my throat, hindering my ability to breathe.

“You think you can do this and get away with it you little shit? I’m going to fucking end you,” Bruce says in my ear, anger clear in his voice. Balling my right hand into a fist, I place my left hand over it and rear my elbow back with everything I have. When it hits his diaphragm, his grip on me loosens while he gasps for air. I’m able to turn around and slug him in the jaw while he’s bent over.

My sights focus back in on Rodney when I hear the front door open.

“What the fuck is going on?”

My eyes dart to see none other than Cal standing in the doorway with a crease firmly set between his eyebrows as he looks at the scene before him. The words I heard him speak to Elizabeth earlier today flash through my mind. I look down to his hands remembering them gripping her arms and face. My jaw grinds and my chest heaves up and down. I’m coiled up so tight with restraint that at any moment I’m afraid I’ll spring forward and beat the shit out of him. And I probably won’t stop until he’s dead.

“Nothing, sir. We were just about to take care of him,” Rodney responds, still wincing in pain.

“I can see that,” Cal deadpans. “If you two can’t take care of business, then I’ll find someone who can. I’m not going down for your incompetence.” He maintains a calm demeanor, but the fire in his eyes indicates he’s anything but.

Knowing I have to keep my cool for mine and Elizabeth’s sake, I calm down enough to say, “To what do I owe the pleasure of your presence, Senator? I haven’t seen you in a while. I was starting to take it personally.” The sarcasm in my voice is hard to miss.

He arches an eyebrow at me, clearly not amused. Good, neither am I. “I’m wondering what the hell is going on and why Hutchison isn’t dead?”

A sigh leaves my lips, clearly bored with this topic of conversation. “This again?”

“How much longer is this going to take?” he asks through clenched teeth.

“Look, I had it all planned out. I can’t help his speech got canceled last minute. Now I’m starting over.”

By the look on his face, I’m guessing that’s the last thing he wanted to hear. He narrows his eyes slightly before they cloud over with anger. “Get it done!” he screams with such intensity, I can see his body shake. I’m a little shocked to see him snap and lose control. His hands pull on the bottom of his suit jacket to straighten it out while he regains his composure. “You better complete your task soon,” he says in a lower tone. He might not be yelling, but the way he keeps tugging on his clothes lets me know he’s clearly agitated.

“Yes, sir,” I reply in mock obedience.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to that sweet pussy at home. You remember Elizabeth’s pussy, right Alex?” His smirk is the final thing to snap my control. I’m on him in a nanosecond, moving like a linebacker ready to crush the quarterback. I’ve got him pinned against the wall with my left forearm pressed firmly against his throat. A feeling of déjà vu sparks, remembering the last time I had Cal in this same position.

When he hit Elizabeth.

The memory combined with what I saw today has my insides boiling with rage. This piece of shit doesn’t deserve to breathe and it would be so easy to end it all now. His widened eyes give away his true feelings. He’s a little scared and a lot nervous. “Let’s get this straight, motherfucker. You will not talk about Elizabeth like that around me, and you better keep your filthy fucking hands off of her.”

“I think you forget who’s holding all the cards here,” he says in a strangled voice.

“Oh, really?” I ask as I apply more pressure to his throat. “That’s not the way I see it. In fact, it looks like you don’t hold shit. You need me. There’s no one else who can do this job for you. And guessing by the little visit that guy paid me the other day, I’d say you have a lot more riding on this than you’re leading on.” I feel him swallow against my forearm and I know I’ve hit the nail on the head. A thin layer of sweat forms above his upper lip, which gives him away even more. “Tell me, Cal. What’s in it for him?”

“You think you know everything,” he wheezes out. I loosen the pressure so that I’m able to understand him better. “You have no clue what you’re talking about. I’d suggest you get the job done now, or it won’t be just my ass on the line.” I stare at him for a beat before releasing my hold. He takes in a large breath as his hand comes up to hold his throat.