The air filled with everything we weren’t saying, along with all the questions I continuously tried to answer.

Were we more than friends?

Could we do this?

Were we ready?

Did he still love me?

Did he still want me?

We turned back towards our friends, and everyone was quiet as we took our seats. Luckily – and rather awkwardly – the silence was broken by the sound of a grumble that came from my stomach. I looked around, and felt my cheeks warm, before the raucous laughter erupted. Reid looked down at me, a warm smile on his face, and all I could do to brush off the embarrassment was shrug. “It’s your kid,” I said, taking my seat at the table. Reid sat down next to me, a ludicrous grin on his face, and replied, “Damn straight it’s my kid.”

Pride filled my chest and for the first time in weeks I felt like we were going to be okay.

Chapter 12

Reid

“When are you going to realize that I don’t want to be just the father of your baby?”

I was sat at my desk when Dane walked into my bedroom. He looked a little frazzled, and when he saw what I was reading his brows lifted quizzically.

“What?” I asked, placing the book facedown so I didn’t lose my place.

“’What To Expect When You’re Expecting’?” He chuckled.

I gave him a half-grin, and swiveled in my chair to face him. I stretched my arms, and groaned when the tension from sitting for too long left my muscles.

“Don’t laugh at me you fucker. When Kenny is pregnant with your first baby you’ll understand.”

I’d decided to start reading about pregnancy, and what to expect in the coming months. I was constantly worried about Jade, and wanted to make sure she was taking care of herself. Some of the information I’d read had been scary, and some of it was downright traumatizing – like the birthing process. I’d nearly fainted when I read about what happens to a woman’s cervix when her body gets ready to deliver a baby – but for the most part it made me feel included, like it wasn’t just Jade’s pregnancy. It was ours.

“Yeah, man, I’m just teasing.” Dane rubbed the back of his neck, and laughed nervously.

“Everything okay?” I asked, motioning for him to sit down on my bed. He wiped his hands on his jean-clad thighs, and gave me a glance. His behavior was odd to say the least, and somewhat out of character.

“There’s something I wanted to speak to you about,” he said, inhaling deeply.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I’ve asked Kennedy to consider moving in with me when the semester is over,” he cleared his throat, “but I realize now I should’ve spoken to you first. I’m not exactly sure what your plans are with Jade for after the baby comes.”

I pursed my lips. “I haven’t even thought about that yet.”

“I’m sorry, man, I know I should’ve spoken to you first.”

I shook my head. “It’s cool, Dane. Things have changed, and I guess I need to be making plans of my own now. In fact, I think you and Kennedy should take our place.”

An idea took root in my head, and the more I rolled it around, the more I liked it.

“So you’ll live with Jade, and Ashley? With a baby?”

He was right to look dubious because that idea was madness. But no, that was not the plan.

“No, but I have something else in mind, and I think you might be just the person to help me.”

I grabbed my phone from my desk, and dialed my father’s number.

“What are you up to?” Asked Dane.

I replied with, “You’ll see,” just as my father answered.

“Hi, dad.” I smiled, feeling excitement erupt in my chest. “I need a favor.”

** ** ** ** **

When I walked into Jade’s bedroom she was bundled up beneath a blanket, along with her thick jacket, scarf, beanie, and grey knitted Uggs. I was late, and she’d obviously fallen asleep waiting me. I leaned down, and brushed her hair from her face.

“No,” she mumbled, hiding her face. “Sleep. I need more sleep.”

I sat down, and placed my hand on her back. “I wish I could let you sleep, but we have an appointment to get to, remember?”

Jade’s eyes opened slowly, and she pushed herself up on one arm. “I was waiting for you,” she said with a yawn. “And then I fell asleep.”

“My last class ran late,” I told her. “And it’s raining outside, so I got held up.”

“I need to use the bathroom,” she murmured, heading into the bathroom. “And then I’ll be ready.”

I nodded, and waited for her to finish up. She was zipping up her jacket, but I stood up, and stopped her.

“Do I not look okay?” She asked, looking up at me. “I can change.”

Closing the gap between us, I parted her jacket and rested my hands on her growing belly. In the last two weeks she’d started showing, and the rounder her body became – her hips, her breasts, her stomach – the more I found myself wanting her. It was a heady feeling, seeing her body change to accommodate the growth of our baby.

“You look perfect,” I whispered. The temptation to pull her into a kiss rocked me on my feet, but I was still unsure about where we stood. Neither of us had broached the topic of our relationship, it was just easier to assume our new roles as soon-to-be parents than determine whether or not we could go back to how things used to be.

“We’d better go,” she said, clearing her throat and dropping her hopeful gaze. “We’re going to be late.”

My hands fell, and the excitement in my chest changed to both disappointment and frustration. We still had so much to figure out, and were no closer to doing it than we were before I found out Jade was pregnant. Rather than talking about it, we drove to the doctor in an uncomfortable silence. Jade was fidgeting with her hands, and it would have been so easy for me to reach over, and calm her. But instead, I kept one hand my steering wheel and another on the arm rest between us. The rain beat lightly on the windshield, and I had Bastille – Jade’s favorite - playing through the stereo.

It was unsettling, to be sitting next to a woman I’d known my entire life, and not know how to talk about our situation. I wanted to ask her what she wanted, but the fear of having her reject me again stopped me, and I didn’t know how to move past it.

THE NURSE SMILED when she walked in, and looked a little surprised to see me. She stuck out her hand, and I took it. “I’m Sirenda. You must be dad.”

“Yes ma’am,” I replied. “Reid Cole.”

“Nice to meet you, Reid.” She turned towards where Jade was lying down on the bed, her expression reading of kindness and familiarity.

“You ready to see your baby?”

Jade’s face broke out into a bright grin, and she showed no signs of nervousness. Only eagerness. She looked calm, whereas I couldn’t stop wiping my hands down the front of my jeans. Jade had already been through this once before, but the thought of seeing our baby for the first time, hearing the heartbeat, had my heart lodged somewhere between my sternum and my throat. After this, it would be real to me.

Jade’s squeal pulled me out of my anxious stupor, and I watched as the nurse squirted some gel onto her belly. She used the wand to spread it around, and clicked on the ultrasound machine.

“Everything looks good so far,” said the nurse. After another click, the volume of the machine became louder, and we all grew quiet as the space was filled with a loud woosh and then a steady ‘thump-thump thump-thump’.

I could feel Jade’s eyes on the side of my face, but I couldn’t look away from the shape on the screen, or the sound that – if possible – brought me to my knees.

That was my baby’s heartbeat.

Strong.

Steady.

“Perfect,” the nurse murmured. “Baby is at ten inches, head to heel, and weighs around ten and a half ounces. That’s great.”