I only nodded, barely processing a single word. It was time for me to leave. My feet started moving again, but in my state I misjudged the two steps leading to the driveway. With blurry, tear filled eyes, and the darkness that had fallen, I could barely see. My toe caught on the top step, and my body hurtled forward, landing on the hard ground. The glass from the photo frame in my hand shattered, and I cried out when the glass sliced my palm. With the little fight that I had left, I managed to lift myself up, and climb into my jeep. My knee was burning, blood seeping through my jeans, and my hand throbbed. My shirt was already damp from where I cradled my wounded hand, but I gripped my steering wheel.

As the house behind me blurred away, my body wracked with sobs. For Charlie. For a mother I never knew. And for the little girl inside me who lost the only person who ever loved her.

CHAPTER TH IRTEEN

Dane

MY CHEST GLISTENED with sweat, and my knee ached as I pushed myself on the treadmill. I pushed past the pain, hoping to silence my mind and focus on nothing but my body. I desperately needed the escape, and attending classes and football practices was no longer enough. My birthday was only a few days away, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t outrun the dread, and despair that came along with it. My mother wanted to do something this year, and after several heated discussions that always ended up in tears, she finally accepted that it wasn’t going to happen.

I was exhausted, and I knew I wouldn’t be good company anyway. It was just better for me to act like it was just another day.

Reid jumped onto the treadmill beside me, and quickly fell into an easy, wordless rhythm. The school gym was quiet, and I welcomed the silence. There was no need for me to act like everything was okay when no one was around.

For thirty minutes, we ran side-by-side, and when my body was spent, I slowed to a walk, and eventually stopped.

“You want to grab pizza on our way home?” Asked Reid. He stepped off the treadmill, and wiped the sweat from his face.

“Yeah, sounds good. I could do with an early night.”

I walked into the locker room with Reid behind me, and started grabbing my things from the locker.

Reid was about to say something when his phone rang, and he frowned at the screen.

“Hey, Jade. What’s up?”

I stiffened, my thoughts immediately going to Kennedy. She was one of many things in my mind that I’d been trying hard to avoid by staying busy, but more often than not, she was still there. I shook my head, and stood, waiting for Reid.

“Wait, I can’t understand you, Jade. I need you to calm down, sweetheart. What’s wrong?”

He listened intently, and I watched his face for some kind of indication of what was going on. His frown deepened. “Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Sit tight.”

He ended the call, and with hurried movements retrieved his bag from his locker. He wouldn’t look at me, but I could feel the worry, and panic, coming off of him in waves.

“Reid, what’s wrong?”

He pulled his hands through his sweaty hair, and blew out a breath. When he looked at me I could see the struggle in his eyes. He was deciding whether or not to tell me.

“Nothing. I have to go. You should just…stay here.”

He left, and I followed behind him. “What the hell? What’s going on?”

“I’m going to handle it,” he pushed through the gym doors. “It’s best of you don’t come.”

He tried to brush me off, but I wasn’t having it. “Reid,” I growled his name. “Tell me!”

“No! Let me handle this. You’ll only make it worse if you come with me.”

There was only one reason he’d tell me to stay if there was something wrong with Jade – her phone call obviously had something to do with Kennedy.

“It’s Kennedy, isn’t it?”

He hesitated, and then proceeded to walk over to his Range Rover.

“Goddammit, Reid!” I yelled. “Just fucking tell me!”

His shoulders sagged, and he gave up on fighting me. He knew as well as I did that I’d find out eventually, and he might as well have been from him.

“Jade called. She said something happened to Kennedy, and she can’t get her to calm down. Said she’s hysterical, covered in blood, but she won’t let Jade anywhere near her.”

He was right to tell me to stay. Going over there was the worst idea, but I couldn’t help my sudden need to go. The thought of Kennedy being hurt riled me up something fierce, and I squelched the surprise that came along with those feelings. I didn’t have time to think about why they were there.

“Where are they?” I asked, my voice betraying my concern.

Reid sighed. “Dane, I don’t think - ”

“Just fucking tell me!”

“At their apartment.”

I turned, and started running through the lot, the sound of Reid yelling my name falling away. We were less than a block from our building, and I fought through my fatigue as my legs pushed forward. I cut through the quad, and took a shortcut through the campus.

Our building appeared in front of me, and I reached the double glass doors just as Reid’s tires skid to a stop behind me. I didn’t wait for him. I sprinted up the stairs, not faltering in my stride until I grasped Jade and Kennedy’s door and flung it open.

Jade was standing in the living room, her face red, and blotchy. Her eyes were wide, and she looked downright terrified.

“Where is she?” I asked.

She pointed in the direction of Kennedy’s bedroom with a shaky finger, and I headed that way. Kennedy shrieked, and a loud crash echoed through the apartment. Her room was a mess, the floor strewn with broken glass from her mirror, and the light bulb from her lamp. I crossed the floor, and immediately wrapped my arms around her small frame. In my peripheral, I saw Reid and Jade in the doorway.

“Get Jade out of here,” I half-shouted, struggling to keep Kennedy still. She wriggled in my arms, and fought my hold.

“No, Dane. Let me go!” She whimpered.

“Now,” I said to Reid. He wrapped his arms around Jade, and led her away. Kennedy’s back was to my chest, and I crossed her arms over her chest. Her breathing was ragged, and I noticed the blood on her fisted hands.

“Kennedy,” I said her name as calmly as possible, trying not to rattle her further. “Stop.”

She writhed in my arms, and started kicking wildly. It only made me hold her tighter. Her foot hit my shin, and somehow we ended up on the floor with her cradled between my legs.

I tucked my head into her neck. “Ssshh,” I brushed my lips across her skin. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

The words felt wrong, and inappropriate, but I’d hoped she would hear me anyway. I had no idea if I could get her to calm down, but something inside me wanted to try.

After a few moments, Kennedy’s body sagged against mine, and I felt her shaking. Her breathing slowed, and matched the steady movements of my chest. She cried, and I simply held her.

It was strange. To have her in my arms, looking such a mess, and feel the need to protect her, even after all I’d done to her. The way she reacted to my embrace was confusing, but I chose not to dwell on it. The only reasonable explanation I had was that Jade wasn’t strong enough to get Kennedy to stop, and she had no choice but to stop fighting me because I overpowered her. There was nothing more to it than that. There couldn’t be.

Kennedy leaned her head on my shoulder, but I couldn’t see her face. I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

“Why does it hurt so much?” Her voice was hoarse, and scratchy. “Why does losing them have to be so damn hard?”

My chest constricted, and I sucked in a breath. I wished I hadn’t known what – or who – she was talking about. I wished I didn’t understand the pain, and despair in her voice. But more importantly, I wished those things hadn’t tethered us together.