“Yes, sir,” I admitted, sweat dripping down the back of my neck and rolling under the collar of my cammies. I wanted to yank at the collar, but I sat perfectly still. “That was our fear.”

“Our fear?” He eyed me. “Carrie is in on this?”

Should I deny it? I didn’t want her to catch any flak for my lies. But this was a captain in the Marines. I couldn’t fucking lie. It’s not the way the military worked. “Sir, I’d rather not say.”

He considered me. “You’re protecting her?”

“Sir.” I didn’t say anything else, but I didn’t need to. My point was clear. I wouldn’t be saying another word against the woman I loved.

He chuckled under his breath. “You know, I think he would approve if he saw you protecting her from me of all people.”

I inclined my head. “Is this why I’m here, sir? Are you going to tell him about us before my father retires?”

“What?” He shook his head. “No. He doesn’t know about you. But I do.”

I wanted to ask him how or why, but it wasn’t my place. This wasn’t the civilian life where I was entitled to answers. Here, I got them if and when I deserved to hear them. “You’re a smart man, captain.”

“Indeed. You know what else I know?”

I’d love to fucking know. “Sir?”

“I believe you love her, and would do anything to protect her.” He leaned forward again. The man was more fidgety than a fucking teenager. “Somewhere along the way, you fell for her, and she fell for you. Am I right?”

I tensed. It was none of his business. “Sir.”

“You don’t have to treat me as an enemy, son.” He stood up and walked over to the window. “I have a proposition for you.”

“I’d love to hear it, sir.”

I wanted to get up and pace as I waited, but I sat on the chair like a fucking invalid. And worse? I felt like one. This man knew all of my secrets, and he didn’t hesitate to air them in front of me like dirty laundry.

“Did you know how hard it is to get out of the infantry? Lots try, but it takes a hell of a long time and a lot of letters of recommendation.”

“I did know it wouldn’t be an easy move, yes.”

I bit down on my tongue to keep from asking what his point was. If I couldn’t make the move, then I’d get out. Go civilian. I’d thought it through. I had a plan.

I wasn’t an idiot.

“I can help you make the move you need. One signature from me, and you’re moving up the ranks.” He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “It would be a simple matter.”

I stiffened. I think I had an idea where this was going. “Sir…”

“Your unit is up for deployment soon,” he said, cocking his head. “You will go overseas, away from Carrie, if you don’t accept my help.”

“I’m flattered and honored for the offer, sir,” I said through my teeth. “However, with all due respect, I’d like to hear the cost of this favor before I accept.”

Because everything came with a price.

And if he said what I thought he was going to say, it would take all my self-control not to punch him in the mouth, fucking C.O. or not.

He nodded. “You’re a smart boy. I like that about you.”

“Thank you, sir,” I said stiffly.

“The cost isn’t much.” He uncrossed his arms. “Stop seeing Carrie.”

I stood up, rage making me see red. I’d known—known—this is what he would say, but it didn’t stop me from wanting to punch him in the fucking face. “No, thank you, sir.”

I only made it one step to the door before he spoke again. “Don’t you dare leave my office without leave, sergeant. You will hear me out. Sit down, boy.”

I clenched my fists and turned back, sitting even though I didn’t want to. “With all due respect, sir, I will not accept those terms. I will stop seeing Carrie if she asks me to. Other than that, I am not open to discussion.”

“Not even to advance your own life?”

I clenched my fists so tight if hurt. “Not even to save my own life, sir.”

“Good.” He sat back down, his lips pressed tight. “Now that that’s out of the way, let’s move on to the real proposition.”

I blinked at him. “Sir?”

“I wanted to make sure you really love her before I offered you this opportunity.” He picked up his coffee mug, which said World’s Best Daddy on it, and took a sip. “You obviously do, so I feel comfortable in offering you the chance of a lifetime.”

“You’re saying you were testing me?”

“Indeed. And you passed.” He set the mug down. “Now we can talk business.”

I stood up again. “Sir, what do you want from me?”

“I want you to sit down.”

For a second, I considered walking out. Not sitting. But the years of military discipline wouldn’t fucking let me. So I sat. “Sir.”

“I’ll tell you everything. It involves doing something similar to what you’re doing now, but with a huge reward.”

“And what would that be, sir?”

He pursed his lips. “You’ll find out. But first?” He picked up a pen and shoved a piece of paper at me. “Sign on the dotted line.”

I eyed the paper. “I don’t sign anything without reading it first, sir.”

“Then by all means, read it.” He leaned back in his chair and crossed his fingers over his stomach. “I’ll wait.”

I picked up the paper, scanning it quickly. By the time I was finished, I looked up at him, my eyes wide. This was a mission. A huge mission I didn’t think I should be reading about, hence the top-secret security clearance application I could see sitting on the desk. “Sir, is this what I think it is?”

“It is. And I can give you all the knowledge you need to pull it off if you sign.”

I picked up the pen, hesitated, and signed on the line.

Saturday evening I shoveled more food onto a man’s plate. I usually came to the soup kitchen on Sundays, but I was trying to keep myself as busy as possible. This time I’d dragged Marie with me. Speaking of which…

I met her eyes from across the room. She made a face at me and I nodded discreetly. It was time to go. There were only a few people here and it was getting dark. It had been a heck of a day. I’d said goodbye to my parents and then studied English with Cory for a few hours.

I felt exhausted yet wide awake at the same time. It was time to get out of here, maybe grab a bite to eat, and try to get some sleep. I had no idea what to expect when Finn returned. Or what to hope for, besides him not leaving.

As Finn would say…this fucking wait was fucking killing me.

I took off the hairnet and smiled at the woman who ran the place, earning a wave in return, set down some McDonald’s cards, and made my way to Marie. “You ready to go?”

She nodded and headed for the door. “I don’t know how you do this all the time. It’s depressing.”

Deja vu. “It’s not depressing. They’re hungry and need food.” I shrugged. “It’s simple.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, now I’m hungry and need food, so feed me. Where are we going?”

I always went to Islands with Finn after the soup kitchen. It was weird not having him here with me. I missed him, and it had only been a few hours. What would it be like when he was gone? No, if he was gone?

“How about some Mexican?” I unlocked my car. “I could go for a quesadilla.”

“Sure.” She slid into the seat and pulled the mirror down, fluffing her hair. “If we go to that place on Pico, we could dance, too.”

“Dance? Yeah. I don’t think so.”

Marie rolled her eyes and buckled up. “You need to lighten up, Carrie. There’s nothing wrong with dancing.”

“You haven’t seen me dance,” I pointed out. “You’d disagree if you saw me in action.”

She laughed. “That bad?”

“That bad.”

“Okay, no dancing then.” She looked at me, her eyes shining with excitement. “Hey, we’re going skateboarding next weekend. How about if instead of feeding homeless people, you come with us? It’ll be fun.”